Why won't my BF's mom let me go to his funeral??

Question

I never really did anything to upset his family. But his mom and dad don't want me to go. Did I do something wrong? His parents never really knew me that well but I have every right to go. I mean... you know. He was my bf. How can I change their mind??

Answer 1

Just go anyways!

and Then tell them how much you Loved their son, just like they do.

Answer 2

First of all, I am sorry for your loss. Death of a loved one is a hard issue to deal with regardless of who you loose. How long did you date this boy? I don't think there is anything wrong with you showing up at the funeral, you are entitled to grieve for your BF along with everyone else that loved him. I can see her asking you to stand to the side and not make a big disruption at his funeral. She is his mom and you need to respect her wishes, but at the same time, she needs to respect your right to grieve. I would suggest talking to her, I know it is hard, she is a greiving mother and sometimes ones in distress, don't think so clearly. ~Good Luck and God Bless~

Answer 3

Maybe they want it to be a small thing, with just family. I mean, you gotta respect that. His mom did give birth to him, just don't show up. Don't upset them, pay your respects afterwards. I'm very sorry :(

Answer 4

You have to understand that they are grieving right now and they will not be thinking too clearly .

I would go any way but just stay out of the spot light as much as possible .

If they approach you about this simply tell them that you did not intend on disrespecting their wishes you just felt that as his girl friend he would want you there and that you wanted to pay last respects .

I am so sorry for your loss .

Take care

Answer 5

im SO SO sorry for youhr loss and let them know it is also youhr loss and that differences should be put aside, and that their son would not be happy to not let youh go. and that youh are going through the same thing they are and that youh are truly sorry that he died but that youh feel its an event youh HAVE to go to to pay you respects

good luck sweetie[:  

Answer 6

they nvr got to know u, nvr got to know wat u were like or if u treated there boy right. the only way to change there mind is to go and show them how u felt about him and show them u care

Answer 7

perhaps they want to grieve about their loss...not yours.  dunno.  sorry for your loss and theirs.  go the next day or later that day to the burial site after the ceremony.  

Answer 8

maybe his parents were just really upset on what happened to their son right now,..

Answer 9

I don't see why you couldn't go. I wouldn't have any words with BF's mom right now. She's not up to it. Just go, pay your respects and leave.

If it's a private funeral, they can ask you to leave. Otherwise, funeral homes and churches are pretty public.

There is obviously a lot more to this story that we don't know, so I'll just tell you what I think based on the little we do know.

He may have been your bf, but he is HER son.  

Answer 10

they don't like you or they want some lonely time with their special one

Answer 11

You should be able to go to the funeral service as you were his gf and it is what he would have wanted. Depending on how long you were together for (as in if it was quite serious or casual) it may be appropriate to attend a private cremation/burial also if they are having one.

Answer 12

The mom is hurting real bad right now. I think all she wants is family to be around. You could go up to her or call her and talk with her and tell her how much he meant to you...maybe say some memories of how he made you feel good and how much you cared for him. Then maybe she will let you go. Have a heart to heart.

Answer 13

They are more than likely just upset with the whole situation and maybe everytime they saw you with their son he was so very happy, and when they see you they do not see him, just his casket, which brings emotions that they cannot deal with appropriately right now.  You have every right to go to the funeral, I would go, You should go.  Just show your sympathy and respect.  Since you are not real close with his parents, it's not like you have to be by their side anyway.  It will be awkward for you to go, but life isn;t always easy and you will always kick yourself for not going.   You should go.  

Answer 14

Sorry for your loss.

Just turn up, what can they do?

Answer 15

You should tell them that if they don't want you to go as his girlfriend could you at least go as a friend.  It is not like you are going to go just for sympathy right?  Maybe that's what she is worried about.  You stealing the spotlight.  I know that sounds stupid, but have you really thought about at all angles?

Answer 16

She can't really stop you from going but it would be a sign of respect to her if you didn't go. I'm sorry you lost your BF but please remember that she has lost her son. I think it would be better if you went later.

I just read your other question and considering the circumstances of his death I really, really think you shouldn't go. No doubt seeing you right now is a painful reminder to his parents of how he died. I know it is painful to you as well but I think it is really for the best that you went later. Hopefully there will be a time when they can sit down and talk to you but right now it's too soon and the emotional wounds are too fresh. I am so so sorry for your loss.