Why won't my husband give me the respect I deserve...?

Question

We've been married for almost 4 years in September it makes 4 years. Well this morning I was using the master bathroom he was sleeping because he goes to sleep when he gets home after the night shift well I was going to the bathroom and the kids start to fuss and cry and wake him up and he starts b!tching me out because of it look I am in the bathroom at least let me wipe myself before I get off the toilet and then I will solve every problem the children have.

Not to mention a few months back he let my father who molested me stay at our house for 7 hellish weeks.

He makes a huge mess in the house and when I try to clean it up he tells me to wait until later, well the next morning he cusses me out because thew house is a mess why tell me to wait to clean up if you are going to cuss me out in several hours.

Not to mention I fainted at work on tuesday so i felt really dizzy at home and couldn't clean and he told me i was just lazy. How am I lazy when he is always calling in sick to work or showing up late?

What to do?

And now his brother popped up out of no where and brought his 3 kids to come live with us I just feel like I am being left out in the dust and he doesn't care what I think.

I brought my 2 kids and my BIL 2 older children to the park bad decision his little girl does not listen.

Answer 1

No offense, but your husband is a donkey. Put him on immediate P.R. and tell him that he will receive no more until he starts to act like a real husband. Take control of that or it will continue to occur. Good luck!  

Answer 2

what u settle for u will get, confront him, don't take that kind of c**p speak up, stick up for yourself.put it right back on him when he is finding fault with u,this is your home too, so u do have a say. being molested as a child would explain the low self worth u have.seek some therapy with what happened to u as a child.

Answer 3

well you need to give him an ultimatum. Tell him to shape up and give you the respect you deserve or else your leaving him. Simple as that. No woman should have to put up with abuse like that.  

Answer 4

The problem is YOU

You can type - so you can spell that means you can read and I bet you can even talk  - so start talking! If you didnt want your father there that was YOUR family and therefore YOUR decision and you have hands and arms - so you could have at any time pack up that man and kicked him out - but YOU didnt.

His brother - is his responsibility - so just take care of your children and take your children out of the house and leave your husband with his family and let him see what a joy they are! Get it?

So you need to STOP waiting for your husband to give you the okay to have a say and start speaking your own mind.  

Answer 5

I agree--put your foot down and make some house rules.   He  --  they -- are walking all over you because YOU allow it.  Make it plain and clear that you will no longer stand for this treatment.  If the kids are small, be sure that they are out of the room when you make your confrontation.  

Also, take a pregnancy test.  Fainting is a symptom of early pregnancy.  

Answer 6

This is what you do, when he tells you to do things, tell him to do it himself. He makes a mess, he cleans it up. If he doesn't, the house stinks until he cleans it up. Don't give in to his yelling. The kids start to fuss, let them fuss until he stops them from fussing. Tell him your not his made, and your not a babysitter. He is the father, he'll help out the kids, or you walk. Also tell him if he has guests at the house, you need to know 1 week in advance and you need to agree, or you'll lock the person out. If need be you'll lock him out. Be firm, not afraid.

Answer 7

Wow I am sorry to hear you have your hands full and tied behind your back.People will treat other people the way they want as long as it is acceptable.I am sure you have told him you don't like being treated this way but he obviously isnt listening.Cussing out another person is never ok.It actually is mental abuse.You can not let this continue.Your husband will do these things to you until you make a clear statement that you will not accept this treatment.First of all get the thoughts out of your head that it is your fault.Don't worry about what other people will think of you if you are the first to move towards change or its over.Counseling is always a good idea but I think since he is verbally and mentally abusing you a strong statement of moving out is in order.He doesnt beleive you are capable of this or he would be treating you differently.After you move tell him you want to work it out and what changes have to be made for you to come back.He sounds very selfish and he wont realize this until he has time to reflect on this alone.Be strong and remember you are doing this to improve the life of you,your kids and even your husband.Do it now because if you dont in future years you will be looking back wishing you had addressed this now.

Answer 8

The real question here, is why is this jerk still your husband? You made a bad decision about this guy 4 years ago, don't pay for it the rest of your life.

Answer 9

Leave him and sue for alimony and child support. No one deserves to be taken for granted and treated like a slave. Life is too short to be in a miserable relationship that is going no where.