Why won't my wife work?

Question

She refuses to work and has excuses all the time. She wears dentures and blames that they don't fit right and the dentist said she could use implants...like hey I don't have that kind of money.

So she stays at home and nags me to death about what she doesn't have and I have finally reached my rope.

Why does woman reach a point in her life when she can't work and she's only 56 yrs old?

Her own family told her she needs to go to work.

Her own daughter told her she needs to work.

I need a divorce and like fast.

Answer 1

Was she working when you met her. If not that was mistake one. By the way she should be getting close to retirement not starting a career. If you married her under these conditions then it really isn't a means for divorce but if she wants things that are not a necessity I just wouldn't do it and tell her anything that is considered a extra luxury she has to get a job and pay for. You are paying for everything else it is the least she can do.

Answer 2

it seems to me that you have made your decision and what I have found in life is that the first instinct is usually the right one so go seek advice from a lawyer and take the first step in making your life better because we are all alloted a certain amount of time on this earth and not a minute should be wasted.  You will be ok and if anything comes of this she might actually get a job just to save your marriage some need to see proof before actually doing something so prove to yourself and her that you want to be happy again

Answer 3

Ok, there are some things that relate to this question that you haven't mentioned:

(1) How long have you been married?

(2) How long has it been since she worked?

(3) Have you got kids, and if so, who stayed home with them?

(4) What qualifications or experience does she have and how much of this is recent experience or qualification?

If this is a relationship like my parents, my mum stayed home most of her life to raise kids, and she lacked confidence going back into the workforce.  If this is the case, I think you need to be patient.  your comment that you need a divorce based on the fact she refuses to work tells me that you are not being sufficiently understanding if this is the case.

I am not judging anyone at this point, because the circumstances for someone of this generation depends on so many factors, I think more information is needed before giving you some advice.

Edited to add: Have either of you considered something she can do from home (or both of you can do from home).  I chose to be a stay at home mum with my youngest, but we couldn't really afford it, so I started a business at home so I can juggle.  I had a nervous breakdown prior to this, and had difficulties (and still do) facing people.  Yes, I am in treatment, but it takes time.  So now I suddenly have this business that turns over nearly AU$200,000 a year, and I have a net income of around AU$50,000 from selling on the internet (not ebay, my own website).  It's just a amtter at looking at strengths and weaknesses and finding a niche.....

Ok, this might be a bit of an ask, but maybe think outside the box.

Answer 4

You want a divorce? So go get a divorce.

I'm sure you'll soon find someone who's a perfect match.

Answer 5

You need to tell her you need her to work because you cant support both of you financially any more and every little helps.  Cut back on the money you give her.  Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind.  Let the rest of your family know you are at the end of the road with her because she wont cooperate and contribute either emotionally or financially to your marriage.  It's too one-sided.  Lay your cards on the table and say you need things to change, or else.....

Answer 6

No you do not need to get a divorce.Go to marriage counseling.Also tell her you will see about getting her dentures adjusted so they fit better.Maybe later on she can get implants if you can afford them.

Next if you make enough for her to stay home, then let her  IF she is keeping the house clean and  the clothes washed and the food cooked.Tell her to get a hobby.She is bored and depressed it sounds like but doesn't want to go back into the work force.

Also if she is keeping the house clean and all, kiss her and tell her you appreciate what she does and take her out once in a while surprise her sometime.Leave early one firday and take her out.

Answer 7

Tell her that you need help with the household finances.And tell her when she starts working maybe she can afford the implants that she needs but not until then.GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 8

how long have you been married?  Tell her she needs to help run the house too.. Its hard to sruvive on just once income..tell her if it continues you may file divorce..you cant stand her not working and nagging everday.

Answer 9

So why don't you get a better paying job?  Then she wouldn't have to *nag* you so much over what she doesn't have.  haha

Should she work?  If you can't make it on one income sure she should, but that doesn't seem to be your problem at all.  I work part-time just to have *extra* money to spend.  Plus after dd started school I got bored at home so I took a part-time job at her school.  I am a true believer a man should support his family.  But with that said I would go out an get a full time job if I had to.  If your unhappy with your marriage now I don't think after 15 yrs of her not working this is the true reason you want a divorce.  Sounds like to me your just trying to excuse your real reason.  This should of been a concern 15 yrs ago.  The funny thing is after being married and not making her work for 15 yrs you'll most likely have to pay her alimony.  I know a lot of places its only 10 yrs.  

Answer 10

shes just insecure about her appearance because of her dentures...just assure her that no one else will notice that they dont fit right...

get her some of the denture strips to use..my mother uses them ( her dentures dont fit right ) and they work pretty good...

its not that "us women" reach the point in our lives when we cant or wont work...your wife just needs to know that the only one that will b paying attention to her dentures is her...

Answer 11

Sounds like she's lazy to me.

Answer 12

she sounds like a drag... dump the baggage and find something better...

Answer 13

Do you have any buddies who in a similar situation who have wives that work maybe you can introduce them. Some women can be convince to do better in their life by meeting women who are. For intense my husband had a friend who was close to divorcing because his wife wouldn't do anything like cook clean I mean nothing. He would come home from work and have to cook for not only himself but her as well now that's just lazy because she didn't work. So my husband and him decided to introduce us hoping I would rub off on her and it worked she felt bad that her home wasn't kept up like mine and we talked a lot and I guess it came across better coming from a women that was in the same situation because she started cooking and doing what she should have all along.

Answer 14

you are the husband and you need to support your wife....my goodness what a big weiner.