Why won't she go to sleep?

Question

My 18 month old is having a very rough time going to sleep at night. This has been going on for a week...She won't go to sleep unless mom or dad is with her. I NEVER had this issue vefore. Please help!!

Answer 1

As she gets older she will begin to learn the feelings of fear and that might be what is going on ...However does she nap during the day?If she does stop those naps a day or so that will tire her down more ..The way I ended up breaking mine was to let them go to sleep in the room I was in then carry them to bed if you keep laying down with her then you will always be doing it...but I wore mine out no naps and I kept them up a bit later until they finally just fall over on the couch or floor in the room I was in and I didn't have to do this long because they got use to going to sleep without us laying down with them it took about a week and they were so tired they would go on to bed without me but it isn't easy keeping them awake all day but try that and I got them up early too so they would be to tired to cry or fret much and they just fall to sleep Good Luck but don't make a habit of this or you will be doing it for years.

Answer 2

Hi.

What you child is going through is quiet common at this age, between the ages of 18, 19, 20, 21 month, children go to a sleep regression. The main reason is the fact that they are becoming aware of their nightmares and start to fear the night time and going to bed.

A lot of children start resisting going to bed or wake up screaming or, like your child, want to sleep with the parents.

This is a phase that usually lasts a couple of month and goes away like any other phase.

I've added some extra information from a site, i think it's education.com

Good luck!

"Toddlers and Nightmares

Q-tip

Don't bother trying to cure your child's nightmares by wearing him out to the point of exhaustion during the day or by feeding him a big meal before bed. Overexhaustion or an overly full stomach will cause more restless sleep, not more peaceful sleep.

To a toddler, who has at best a tenuous grasp of the difference between reality and imagination, nightmares can be horrific experiences. When a nightmare wakes your child up, you may find him sitting straight up in bed in screaming terror or curled up in a sobbing, miserable ball.

If you can get to your toddler quickly enough and offer soothing words and caresses that comfort him, he will probably drop off again in less than a minute—and not even remember it the next day. If you take more time, however, perhaps thinking that it would be best if he would fall back to sleep on his own, he will become even more terrified and most likely require 15 or 20 minutes or more of comforting.

As every good Freudian knows, nightmares most often spring from stress and anxiety. When your child wakes with a nightmare, try to guess what the source might be:

Has he experienced any major change(s) recently?

Did he recently start daycare—or switch to a new daycare setting?

Did you or your partner just start going back to work?

Did you or your partner have to spend a night or two away from home?

Did you just have another baby? Or have you helped your toddler understand that a new baby is on the way?

Have you and your child clashed at all over his struggle to reconcile dependence and independence in eating, walking, and so on?

You probably cannot "fix" any of these lifestyle changes to your toddler's satisfaction: You can't make them go away. But you can make it easier on your child. Show him even more loving attention. If you are putting new demands on him, ease up for a while. (If he is unable to meet these demands, your child may fear your rejection and abandonment. These fears could be the source of his nightmares.) Tolerate more "bad behavior" during these difficult transitions. And above all, talk—even if your child is barely verbal—about what you've guessed is the source of his anxiety and about what dreams are. In acknowledging and understanding the cause of your toddler's stress and offering reassurance, you may help relieve it entirely."

Also, from my experience this might be a good time to introduce a "special night time friend" (soft toy) or to buy a night light, or just leave the bedroom door open, with the corridor light on.

Be patient and things will settle into place as your child grows out of this stage.

Answer 3

Maybe something scary happened during the night or just in her life recently.  Maybe somebody accidentally did it just once, and then she wanted it from then on.

Actually, most likely it's just teething.  I wonder the same thing every time my daughter's teething (she's only 16 mo, but she's done a lot of teething), and then only after I feel the teeth poking through do I realize that, ah ha, that was it.

Or she has an ear ache.  They act up when the child is lying down.

Or she is sick in another way.  That's all I can think of.

Answer 4

i have a son that is 19 months old and he was having the same problem and so i started putting him in his pack-in-play to sleep, its in his bedroom, and i turn off all his lights and just leave a hall way light on and close the door about 3/4 the way, and at first he would cry for about 15-20 min and then put himself to sleep but now it takes him about 2-5 min. he wakes up about 9am and then lays down for a nap about 12 or 1pm and sleeps for about 1.5 hours and then he gets up and i keep him up all day until about 8:30-9:00pm. I try to keep him very active. like running, games, laughing, no down time until about 6 or 7 and then i try to settle him down, with like dinner, bath, and/or story time/book time...

Hope this helps..

Answer 5

My daughter went through it at that age.  That's when we implemented a strict bedtime routine.  We eat between 6:30 and 7pm.  Then she brushes her teeth and takes a bath.  The last 30 minutes there is NO t.v. and we sit on the floor and play with her.  10 minutes before we put her down, we put her in our lap and read her a couple of books.  Then she is in bed by 8:15.

The first week or two was still a struggle, but after that she really started to enjoy the routine.  It's tough keeping it on track (things come up), but if we deviate from routine it seems to mess her up for days.  But as long as we keep with the routine, she sleeps like a baby.  

Though, I must warn you - in the last 2 weeks, our 22 month old started waking up earlier and earlier.  I have no solution to that yet - but apparently there are all kinds of sleeping "speed bumps" along the way!  Good luck!!

Answer 6

Simply because she has realized, that mom and dad will stay with her.  Babies are brilliant.  Probably on the first night she was just having a hard time, so you did what any mom would do and went to her...now this is what she wants.  It might be hard but you have to put her to bed and leave.