Why wont my 1 yr old go to sleep for ME???

Question

Ok, i have a little boy who recently turned one.. So far he is very happy and very very healthy...

My concern is that i cant get him to go to sleep!! He used to 'put himself to sleep' in his cot but the last few months my husband has to cuddle and rock him to sleep. The same goes for my mum and my mother in law (they babysit while im at work). The problem is that he Will Not Let Me put him to sleep!! Whenever im alone with him during the day i have to drive round the block so that he will fall asleep and have his nap.

Once asleep he is fine and will sleep for one hour or 2 (sometimes once and sometimes twice a day). He goes to bed around 8.30 - 9pm every night and then will wake at some stage most nights and end up in our bed and sleep there til 6.30 - 7am. (I put him in our bed cos i have to get up at 4am to go to work).

So, WHY ME?? I dont do anything different to anyone else to so why cant i get him to go to sleep without crying and throwing himself around??!!

Answer 1

toatlaly hear u - i'm up early for work as well- have  a 3 year old

so here's what i do

i put my kid to sleep at night on a full stomach

he is at the point that he will mew at night but put ihimself back to sleep.

he is very clingy to me at night

durign the day he usually goes to day care but i have him for 3 months for the summer and i cant get him to nap.

iv tried puttign dark paper in his room on the woindws to block out the light.

  nothing else is goign on.

  or i take him for a stroller ride.

  good luck - i know that sleep affects yr sanity!!!!

Answer 2

the trouble is he is being rocked  or driven  around to sleep and when you put him back to bed he feels unsecure.  HE IS RULING THE ROOST AND TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO ! You need to set boundaries NOW.   this was the problem with my eldest child, they get used to it.

No matter what time of day you want him to sleep use the feed play sleep routine and try to stick to the same routine everyday (sometimes it is hard).  give your child some food e.g. if he has an afternoon sleep try to give him lunch say abiut 11am then  let him play till say 12noon  then make sure he has a dry nappy (diaper) then put him in his cot and let him cry for at least ten minutes. if he doesnt stop then go in dont talk to him pick up, give him a cuddle and put him back in his cot eventually he will learn to put him self to sleep. do this for the evening sleep as well.

You need to be firm with your mother in law and tell her straight up that she is not to rock him to sleep because he is hard to put to sleep when you get home and this the way that child health experts suggest that children should be put to sleep.

One other thing is to remeber that youare not the only one who has these problems it is part of parent hood for children  to drive you nuts with things they do but you need to remain calm and set boundaries from day one.

good luck.

Answer 3

I feel for you.  My first girl hated napping.  I tried heaps of different things and at the end of the day I had to just accept that just because I'm soooooo tired from getting at 3.30am to work and would like a bit of quiet time, doesn't mean my child is.  I found it really exhausting trying to get her to have a nap. So in the end I'd put her in a portacot or "the cage" (one of those four sided wooden things), put in toys and books, put it at the end of my bed and then lie down for an hour to read a book or have a quick nap.

It may sound like a cop out, but hey, when you're up so early anyway, trying to force a child to sleep that doesn't want to is just too stressful when you're so tired yourself.

Answer 4

Sorry, a nanny isn't going to do anything that you can't do. In fact, you may find that your son doesn't really want to goto sleep because he misses you and wants to be awake with you, not asleep. However, apart from feeling guilty about this (I think feeling guilty is just one of those things that comes with being a parent so don't feel too bad!) there is one thing that will assist...ROUTINE. The bedtime you describe is too late for a 1 year old. He needs to nod off at about 7-7:30pm every night. When I say "nod off" I mean, goto bed. He may not actually fall asleep until he gets used to the routine, but it's important to get him started. Start your bedtime routine at after dinner....bath, story / cuddle then bed. Talk to him and tell him that it's "getting ready for snoozy time" or whatever works for you. But you must do the same thing EVERY night. Now I must say this. Getting into a new routine is going to be hard and it will not work the 1st time. It may take weeks, but until you get into your night time routine, the hassles you're having will continue. It will get harder before it gets easier but kids are routine junkies and thrive on knowing what's coming up next. Also, as he is probably missing your attention, find an activity that you and him do alone with no one distracting you. He will be really chuffed to have your one on one attention, particularly if it's in the afternoon some time. Try this out. Stick at it, be persistent and contact us if you need more help or even to let us know how you went.  

By the way, I think 2 day naps for a 1 year old is OK. I think 2 hours per nap is plenty. The night time routine needs work though. Good luck.

Answer 5

As a mum myself i have experianced this to.I had my child in daycare at age 1 and he would never sleep for me.The best thing to do is get a cheap nanny that is flexable and good with this type of thing so he adjusts.What area are you in and i can tell you some places to try for a good nanny(im one myself)

Answer 6

Relax, he can probably feel your tension, just try having a little routine, quiet time, bath, story whatever works, and do not be concerned with getting him off to sleep, just take it easy and it will all work out.

Answer 7

Hi

I know how you feel and it must be hard when you have to work mornings... I would suggest that the reason your little boy wont go to sleep for you anymore is because your huband and both grandparents have given into his wanting to be cuddled and rocked all the time and now it is an expectation of his and he relates this with having a sleep.

The best thing that you could all do to get him back to putting himself to sleep is when nap time comes around to all follow he same routine for one... i would request that through the day when you arnt there that they no longer rock and cuddle him to sleep just put him in his cot and let him go off himself... this may be hard and he may kick and scream but if everyone can persevere he will soon be in a routine and will put himself to sleep no matter who has him...

Sorry its so long just hope it helps