Why wont my son's father come around anymore since I filed Child support?

Question

about 2 mos ago I filed for CS...we split up in feb...ever since we I got my notice, he hasn't been around to see my son. Why is he doing this to my son ...I am starting to move on with my life so it doesnt really affect me but why would a man do this to his child....What should u do in a situation like this - when a man ignores his own child because of child support ?

Should I contact him nicely and ask him why or leave it be?

Answer 1

For god sake get some common sense and leave it be. Its time to wake up and smell the coffee. Hes acting like a 2 yr old and having a tantrum. Hes taking it out on his child because you filed for support that your child deserves. If he ever gets over his tantrum he knows where to find you.

Answer 2

He may be thinking well if she's getting money from me I don't have anything else to do...which is completely wrong but some guys think that way. Or maybe he's just upset that he thought you would have dealt with him first hand. Either way he should be keeping in touch with his child regardless of the situation....hope it works out for the best and remind him that you didn't make this child on your own and he should be just as involved as you are.  

Answer 3

You could ask him, but more than likely, he isn't going to tell you anything that's going to make you feel better about it all. I've been there and done that. It hurts us because we think about how much it's going to hurt our kids. But I'm getting to the point to where I think it's for the best. It's not fair to the child for a man to be a "dad" when it's convenient for him.

Answer 4

There is truly no answer to explain why men do the things they do.  I had a similar situation with my daughter's father.  He disappeared when she was born, then started getting involved in her life.  When money got involved he got all weird and started doing the same thing.  The only thing I can say is my daughters father really has never been around to much, so it hasn't affected her to much because its what she's always known.  For some reason money makes people act in very strange ways.  If it really bothers you, I think you could nicely ask him why he isn't spending as much time with his son and how its affecting his son.  If he has no good excuse, honestly don't push the matter, take the money he owes you and hope he realizes his mistake, because in the long run its his loss.  If you keep bringing it up or fight about it and your son sees or hears this it will only affect him worse.  Just make sure to give him some extra attention and let him know your always going to be there.  If he starts asking questions, no matter how you feel don't bad mouth his dad but just say its his loss, its not you or something to that effect.

Answer 5

maybe try writing him a letter explaining that this would hurt his son.

Alot of men do this and I'm not saying its right but the bottom line is you cant control what he does and he is the one missing out.

Answer 6

If you have a good relationship with him, i say go ahead and contact him.  Just say that his son misses him and you were wondering if he was going to come visit sometime?  Try to keep all your personal emotions out of the conversation and stick to discussing just visitation.  Do not bring up child support.  If he brings it up, steer him back to visitation.  If he doesn't get the hint, end the call.

Answer 7

He is hurting you through your child.  You can't control him so don't try and try not to bash him to your son.  Just leave it be and make sure that he pays the support.  When he realizes you aren't going to make a fuss about visitation he will choose to see his son or not.  Make sure you follow the visitation rules faithfully and remember he has a right to see his child (barring safety concerns) even if the support money isn't paid.  Do not take the money issue to the child either.

His son may act out and your the one picking up the pieces but one day he will know who was there for him and who wasn't  

Answer 8

LET IT BE. He is mad at you and probably taking out on you and your son. Don't bother him he will come around believe me. You should understand it's not the same thing as for us women. We wouldn't stop seeing our kids over money. It is very different.  

Answer 9

Leave it alone.

He's the one missing out on his son's life.  Not you.  It's best for him to keep his immature attitude away from your child until your ex can act like an adult.