Why would a 20yr old ever move out on his own?

Question

When he can come and go as he pleases, doesn't have to pay rent, food, utilites and drives a new truck provided by his USMC sister now serving in Iraq? He has no job nor does he go to school. His dad gives him no responsibilities around the house or property, (he says he's asked but his son won't do it), This kid clearly takes advantage of his enabling family members. Here I come into the picture, not afraid to tell the "emperor" that he is really naked. Normally I would have just kept quiet on my observation but his refusal to "pitch in" around here financially or physically, affect not only the ones who enable him (their fault) but I feel puts a strain on my contributions. If he helped out with the every day chores and expenses around here, maybe we ALL would get to play like he does all day. His dad tells me not to be upset, he'll be out on his own soon. I believe this kid will NEVER leave, why should he?

Answer 1

I woke up one morning June 6 1997 to a letter taped to my door by my mother.  It stated  "I need to be out of the house by June 16th.  I will help you find a place but you can know longer live here".  

At the time I could not believe it.  But i look back on it and it was the best thing that my mum ever did.  I am 29 now and have a wife and baby.  Being independent you learn so much about life and yourself.  

This guy is going to have a hard time later on down the road.  Finding a companion and establishing a family.  He will learn or become miserable.    

Answer 2

It sounds like you're the stepmom, or at least the dad's new girlfriend.  Sometimes it's hard to understand why families behave the way that they do, but in the long run, hassling the dad about his son is only going to cause tension between you and the dad.  You have to remember that this is his child and he feels an obligation to provide for his child.  If you complain about it all the time, he's more likely to kick you out than kick out his son.

Answer 3

AW luky son i am 13 and have to work around the house and my mom said as soon as i get to 18 i have to pay her rent and get a job and evrhting i hav no problem with that but WOW i wanna live with u ):

Answer 4

He never will with that kind of attitude from his family, h**l I am 39 and wondering if you are interested in adopting me!

Answer 5

Wish you had stated your age.  Tell him he's a bum, that he should either go to college or get a job.  The sooner you can get out of the house, the better.  Tell your parents that unless he starts doing stuff around the house too, you're on strike.  Tell them you're busy with school studies and don't have time anyway.  Tell them it's unfair.  You have every right to state your opinion on the matter, you live there too.  Try to help your brother find a job.  And tell his dad that the longer he supports his son, the more of a bum he'll become.  Tell him the more he pushes his son out to do something the better of a man he'll become.

Answer 6

Well its time to take some responsibilities and teach him some lessons. If he doesn't wanna work, make him work. Ask him to take out the trash, if he doesn't want to, throw the trash on him. If he asks you to buy him something, don't buy him anything. Constantly tell him to go look for a job and grow up. To him you might seem like an *** but its for his own good. If he doesn't learn to mature then his whole life will be pathetic. He'll end up like a 40 year old virgin who still lives in his parents basement and is unemployed. Tell the dad and everyone else in the family to help. Show him how the real world is, and stop spoiling him.  

Answer 7

You are absolutely right.  If you had a place to stay, food to eat, a car to drive and no responsibilities at all, would you leave?  HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE!  Mom and dad need to get tough and either make him get a job and contribute to the household or get out. Easier said than done, I know (as his parents they don't want to see him on the street struggling), but that is what needs to happen.  They are actually hurting him more than they know.