Why would a man (my ex) insult me in that way?

Question

A couple of days ago I had a conversation with my ex on the phone it was regarding my daughter's visitation schedule, I got mad at him because he would not pick her up and I had no one to take care of her and I had to work, so we began insulting each other and he started telling me how his new friend was better than me in bed, telling me how fat and ugly I was, and even telling me that he show my picture to his new friend and she told him that I was so ugly, isn't this a man who has no balls?

Answer 1

He is an immature idiot who was trying to redirect your attention from his negative actions (not picking up his child).

Answer 2

he is jealous of anyone who you like more than him and still wishes you would want him

i know my ex did the same thing and it really showed later that she hadn't moved on (even though she ended it)

Answer 3

He Seems Like The Kind Of Person Who Insults Others In Anyway Possible To Make Him Self Feel Better... He Can't Take The Stress Of His Life Being The Loser That He Is...So He Puts You Down To Make His Life Seem Better... I'm Sorry That He Did That To You... Chances Are That His New "Friend" Is A w***e... And A Cheap One At That... So Don't Let It Bother You Too Much.

Answer 4

Get rid of him.  Block him from your email. Blacklist him on your phone.  Try to have as least contact as possible.

Answer 5

Clearly he is not mature.

Answer 6

Your man is stupid. No offense.  Your man doesn't want anything to do with you so that is why he is insulting you. He thinks that if you realize that he is insulting you, he'll make you feel small and you'll get tired of him and you and your daughter will just go your separate ways and leave him alone - which is what he probably wants. You don't deserve a man like that and your daughter doesn't deserve a father like that either. But if he is not willing to take credit and respect to help care for your child than I would say you should sue him for childcare and child support. And serve him right!

OR..

Since you said you began insulting each other maybe that is what got to him and he started saying all that bullshit. Maybe you said something that might offend him and you didn't even know it. Also, he could be dealing with a lot of stress and being under pressure and it's all getting to his nerves or simply he can't take responsibility very well.

Answer 7

No, you both were angry and just resorted to the easiest thing which was to insult each other. I don't think you should take it personal or believe any of it. He was just angry and frustrated, and so were you, and people tend to say mean things when they feel angry.

I think if your ex is unreliable and difficult to deal with you might be best seeking a reliable babysitter. Keep all receipts for your records, just in case he may need to reimburse you, or child support needs to be adjusted to include extra child care.

Try not to let situations turn into fighting and insults with your ex. and he will be more likely to help when needed. It's easier to attract bees with honey.

Answer 8

Just trying to hurt you. It is best to not engage these people no matter how mad they make you. They feed off making people upset. Might be lying, might not, My ex is like this too. Try not to get into it with him.

Answer 9

"so we began insulting each other"

You also insulted him aswell as him insulting you, so you are both as bad as eachother, you don't have much right to take the moral high ground saying he is a man with no balls really do you?

Answer 10

No, you both were in the wrong.  You obviously insulted him and he got in defense mode by saying things to hurt you.  Keep the relationship civil for the sake of your daughter.  He may have had prior obligations as well and could not take care of her when you asked.  At the same time, it was very mean for him to call you fat and ugly.  Obviously if that were true, he never would have had s*x with you to begin with.

Answer 11

i think you know the answer already... hes a peice of **** and he has no balls! and i bet hes lying about that thing how he showed the girl your pic.  

Answer 12

People who feel inferior and frustrated with the situation they are in resort to criticism.  They feel that by putting someone down, they will appear more superior.  It really is pathetic and that is why I suggest you not fall prey to the same behaviour.  Someone has to be mature, you have a child to raise, in the end don't count on him, exclude him from the picture all together.

Answer 13

No balls. And most definitely no brains! I'm glad you're not with this immature man any more. I know you deserve better!

Answer 14

He is very immature. Avoid him as much as possible, hes an idiot. You don't want your kid to learn from someone like that.

Answer 15

Just tell him his pee pee is small and you faked it everytime. That will shut him up for a bit any way.

Answer 16

OK Children why don't you both grow up for the sake of your daughter.

Name calling is what children do and it hurts.  

If you love your daughter then BOTH of you stop it now and try to be respectful of each  other for her sake.

Answer 17

Yep, he has no respect for you....and he would never learn to respect you if you insult him too...give respect and receive respect...

Answer 18

You both sound childish.

Answer 19

he's doing it to get to you, to bring you down and make you feel like a piece of c**p. Dont let it get to you, he's a grown man, he should know better, but men dont think and as you can see are EXTREMELY immature well maybe not all of them, but a good few!

try not to let him get to you, your letting him win if you show him its working x*x

Answer 20

Question - you said you began insulting each other, which means you were insulting him as well. What were you saying to him? You may have struck a nerve with something you said that made him insult your looks and sexuality.

Answer 21

You were insulting him, too, so you really don't have much to get mad over.  

Answer 22

to hurt you obviously. but you're not making yourself look very good either because you openly admitted that you started trading insults. be the adult and tell him you will not feed into his immature behavior and hang up on him!  

Answer 23

so" WE " began insulting each other

That's where the problems start. It's not what he says is the problem, but that you allowed yourself to enter into a toxic conversation. It takes two to fight and if you don't go down to that level, you win everytime. Who really cares what he or his friend says. Really. Care about yourself and what you'll allow and not allow in your life. Just be happy the relationship is over and you wish them well. If you don't care what they think or say, then you really win. He said these things to hurt you, but if they're meaningless and have no effect (you getting mad), then he really has no power at all. Find someone to watch the daughter while you go to work and don't count on him.  

Answer 24

you know, me and my ex husband have done this and you know what, it was stupid and childish , although I cant stand the stupid w***e he is with now.  he needs to grow up and be civil for the sake of your daughter

Answer 25

Isnt this the reason he's your EX?  Document the times when he's supposed to pick up the child, and  then doesnt.  It may come up later in court when this A hole accuses you of not letting him see her.  Otherwise, he's letting you know why you're not together...because he sucks.

Answer 26

Unfortunately this is the way that most exes act, just try to toughen up and let this be a reminder as to why he IS your EX!

Answer 27

He is purposly trying to make u feel bad and thats wrong. Try sitting down with him and talk. Let him know there has to be a mutual respect between the both of you for the good of your child.

My parents were divorced and me and my siblings were surronded by them constantly fighting. It hurt us more than i think it did my parents.

Try coming to a compromise..When he calls or u call him its only because u need to speak about ur child..Hope i helped

Answer 28

The venom he has inside is eating him alive, don't let him poison you.  Stay away from this jerk!  The worst thing you could do, is play his game ... don't argue with him, just hang up on him.  Negative people want everyone to be as miserable as they are ... cut him off from your feelings.  Don't give him the power to get to your emotions, he is absolutely not worth a second of your grief, of your pain, of your saliva during argument, even of your attention.  Why waste another second of your life? Remember no one has the power to make you feel bad without your permission!  :)  Isn't that great, or what?  :)

Answer 29

immature

Answer 30

You shouldn't have started insulting him, and when he insulted you you should have cut the conversation off right then.  One of you needs to act like a grown up.  You need to learn new and better ways to deal with him.  Don't goad and push him into these things.  You have responsibility here also.  

Answer 31

Hes just pushing every button to p**s you off. He's really showing you how hes such an idiot. This has nothing to do with you, its about him not being a responsible father.