Why would a married man have an affair???

Question

im 20 and last up til last october i was sleeping with a married man with three kids for a year.

we knew it was wrong but there was so much passion there couldnt keep our hands off each other.

he never really told me about his marrage when i saw him we just had s*x i knew he was using me we were using each other he was married i knew it was going no where hes also 12 years older than me

but all i can think now is how could we have done it how did he use to go back home and face his wife after being with me?

whats wrong with the marrage to make him go out and have an affair ??

he told me i was the 1st hed never cheated before

Answer 1

you did something very wrong and you can only hope the same wouldn't happen to you. what goes around always comes around. his wife must have gone though h**l becoz of your little "passion" fling.

those men who give the excuse of not getting enough attention at home as a certificate for cheating on their wives are just liars. they should get divorce first and then find someone who'd give them all the attention they need.

as for men who say they are not sexually satisfied with their wives, they should also try to sort this out with their wives first. talk to her, try to teach her ways to satisfy them. but they opt for cheating instead. if nothing else works, they shoulat leastst have the decency to let the poor wife go her own way before ******* around.

the truth is that men cheat whenever they get an opportunity (girls like you), or attention from a younger and/ or prettier girl (think about the time when you'll be 30 and the guy you love will go around ******* 20 year old gals by telling them how bad you are in bed and how ugly and old you are. we all get old one day honey, given if we don't die young and no one looks pretty when old its a dirty ugly fact of life). men cheat when their poor wives trust them blindly or when they don't have time to keep tabs on them becoz of kids or whatever (thats when they usually cook up stories of not getting enough attention but they'd never tell that other gal why his wife can't give him enough attention).

the only thing that stops men from cheating is the fear of losing his wife/ kids and family. and thats also not 100% fool proof. many men jeoperdize their family and loving wife for a few minutes of passion. and gals like you think that he cheated on his wife but he would never cheat on you. well once a cheater, always a cheater. he'd cheat on every women in his life. and i'm sure he lied that he never cheated before. i bet he says that to every gal

Answer 2

Men,being one myself i can speak from experience can separate s*x,love and Marriage into different compartments s*x is an act of breeding for men or was until that idea had to be changed to suit this idea that man has a superiority over animals the reason feel such an emotional bond with the act of sexual intercourse is to keep her available for the man, Harsh? Maybe.I can never understand why people have this urgency to blame the mistress for the infidelity,they have not committed themselves to a marriage the one who is wrong is the man for cheating,it's like blaming the householder for being burgled

Answer 3

boredom, lack of passion, just want to try something new are a few reason why men cheat but let me ask you a question why would you get into an affair with a married person? You basically said the passion was great so maybe the passion was great with you on his part also.

The reason why affair happens is the lack of respect or the sanctity of marriage.  If everyone respected marriage then there would not be any afairs.  If the married person respect their vows and their partner then they would resist all temptation to cheat and if the outside party would respect that someone who is hitting on them is married they would not get involved with that person  in the first place.

Answer 4

This question can be answered at several levels.

The most useless and unhelpful set of answers merly express immaturity and seek to to be judgemental as regards either you or him. Such answers can be immediately discarded as worthless.

Some answers centre on the nature of men and women's sexuality.

I think the most profitable approach to the matter is to look at the nature of marriage in western society. The institution of marriage provides a stable long term environment for nurturing children. It is the social and exconomic building block of our way of living and as such it it a practical vehicle for delivering many of an individual's needs such as food and shelter.

The fact is that marriage is not a good vehicle for providing for sexual needs. Men and women both have very strong sexual desire and they need the right conditions and a suitable partner to express such desire.

Whereas a wife might be ideal as a home maker, the very fact that she performs the home making functions on an every sday basis tends to to make her unattractive as a s*x partner.

A 20 year old girl on the other hand is an ideal s*x partner. The reasons are obvious and do not need to be set out here since they are readilly understood.

Cheer up, neither of you were wrong to do what you did and you probably gained valuable insights into the human condition that will help you to make choices in future. You will also understand when your own future husband goes off on his own escapades.

.

Answer 5

Some do it for the port. (just to see how many they can get by with)

Some do it for the excitement.  (there is no excitement in having someone you are married to)

Some do it because of their ego

A very few men do it because they feel emotionally abandoned by the wife, usually because of the children.

Men do not think like women.  Men separate s*x from love and other emotions.

The majority of women, that cheat are cheating because they feel emotionally neglected.  There are some that are just opportunist also.

By the way, they all say you were the first, but even if he was being honest, I can promise you that if he did not get caught, you weren't the last!

Answer 6

Men may want to have this kind of experience with you because you are young, seem to be a good lover, and in this case the chemistry seems very right.  But you know from all the leading political men who cheat what you experienced is not that unusual and men (I did it) may simply have the conquest, have some different s*x than with their usual partners, like the mystery of the chase (if there is one), and be driven by some primative instinct.  I have known women to cheat as well, sometimes with me.  So it is not that unusual, but I prefer to think we eventually have so much love/respect for our loved ones and respect for ourselves, that we will not cheat, having the stregth of character to know we can, but will not.  That will be a better life for you and the others you come to know.  Thanks for your sharing.

Answer 7

men are only as faithful as their options. You were willing so he did.  

Answer 8

Most men cheat becuase they are not getting the attention they need at home and or s*x has become boring.

Answer 9

You are in the wrong here doll. You should not be getting with married men. Men use the excuse of not being satisfied but really some are just cheats and cannot be faithful.

Answer 10

There either was no or little s*x in his marriage and it got boring. My Father had an affair due to this and it led to my Parents divorce.

Answer 11

He is bored but loves his wife and wont leave his wife! I cheated on my wife. I felt tied down. I felt old. I felt like I could not get anyone she brought me down. I cheated to get what I needed that home wasnt giving me!

Answer 12

its because of people like you my kids are without there dad how could you even contemplate sleeping with him if you knew he was married..if there are kids involved you should be ashamed of yourself

Answer 13

well, he lied to his spouse every time he was with you, so why do you think he was being truthful in saying this was the first time he cheated? It...could... be true, but most likely not. He wants to convince you, a young ignorant girl, that you are so special he can not help cheat.... this is a lie. He had an affair because he has issues, it may have nothing to do with the marriage, or the marriage may be in ruins, it matters not why...... The REAL question is, why you an adult, still young but been able to vote for 2 years.....is willing to have an affair with a married man..... so sad.....pray little girl....you need some guidence and more than we can give you on yahoo....

Answer 14

Did you even ask if he was with anybody?  Did he lie to you?

Extramarital affairs are rampant and are the result of men and women who are eager for instant gratification.  Marriage should be taken more seriously-- not as "just a piece of paper" but a legal bond between two people.  Translation: don't wreck that home!

Also you're part of that problem.  It takes two to tango.

Answer 15

Ask the next question. Why would a married woman do the same? And the question after that would be why would you get involved with someone that's married? You helped this along. And if he told you you were the first more than likely he lied about that too. There are no good excuses for an affair. Call it what it is Cheating and Lying. Most people who cheat do it for the thrill of not getting caught or it's something new. Kinda like that new Christmas toy. It's great for awhile but sooner or later you get bored with it and move on to something else. And they use any BS excuse. They give me something that's missing in my marriage, or  my spouse does'nt understand me. In the end no one wins.

Answer 16

i think you should end it with him because if he can cheat on his wife and THREE KIDS, he can do it to you too. You don't even have his kids. He is probably seeking for temporary solace. When he's finished with you, he'll probably dump you. He has shared more with his wife than with you. What makes you think that he'll leave practically his whole life for u? You're only 20 and you have a great life ahead of you.Find someone who is around your age and can get it up right.

Answer 17

He was using you and he was bored with his old lady

Answer 18

why would a married man have an affair and not have the intention of living his wife?he keeps his wife because he love her and he keeps his mistress because he satisfy his emotional needs.a wife knows there are other women in her husband's world but she also knows that she is the wife and that makes her more respected and important.it's hard to share a man.you will get hurt.find a single guy.

Answer 19

People cheat because they're cheaters. It's as simple as that.  They have the opportunity and there's no one inside them to tell them to stop. They have no confidence or self respect.  He had an affair because you were there to give it to him. That's really all the motivation anyone needs.

I've been married for 25 years and the reason I've never cheated is not because I would have to face my wife afterward.  The reason I never cheated is because I'd have to face my daughter. My father lost my respect when I was about 6 years old. I didn't want to lose my daughter's respect. She means all the world to me and I wouldn't want to do anything that would diminish her love for me.  Obviously, the same goes for my wife, but I could always find another wife.  I'll never be able to replace my daughter.

Answer 20

Sometimes there's absolutely nothing wrong with the marriage.  The problem lies with the cheating spouse because they don't have what it takes to uphold their marriage vows.  Everything else are just excuses to justify their actions.  And by you being a willing participant, you are also being part of the big problem.

Answer 21

If a married tells you that you are the first person he has ever had an affair with...don't believe him, he is only trying to make you feel and think that you are special. I know that sounds awful but personally i think this to be true, because if you had of had a connection then he would of left his wife instead of continuing an affair. Men have affairs because maybe their life at home is going through a bad patch or because they just can't believe that a young girl fancies them. someone i know had an affair and there was absolutely nothing wrong with the marriage at all, they are a happy couple whom get on like a house on fire, it was just the fact that this person got some attention from a pretty girl and it led to one thing and another, luckily this person saw sense, felt terrible about what he had done and confessed to his wife. They went through an awful time after but both have come out alot stronger and are still together this day.

Answer 22

99.99% of men cheat because they want s*x.

So yes he's using you for s*x.  If he ever get caught he will say good bye to you so fast.  Married men will choose their wife over other woman.  

Answer 23

people cheat. allways have allways will, it is a part of of the human make up that is rooted deep in who we are. everyone cheats at one time or another, boredom, revenge choose your reason. I have cheated and been cheated on, it hurts and causes pain but we still do it. people go along with it for the excitement. when ure that young s*x without strings is the best kind. you will grow out of that it is up to you if you want to cheat when u get older. this experience will help you make a better decision later in life when you choose a partner because you will ask yourself is this someone I can be with forever and be faithful too. Like I say we all do it, it is up to us to take responsibility for our actions learn from them and out grow them

Answer 24

because girls like you make it easy for them. idiot.

Answer 25

Some men cheat because they are lacking what they need or want at home, some cheat because they can, some others cheat because they are bored with home or some even cheat because of a midlife crisis...everyone cheats for different reasons.  You can be a perfect wife and do everything your are suppose to and just because your husbands d**k gets hard, he will s***w someone else.  You may have been the first, but if that is true, you might not be the last.  Every man that cheats has to have a first, so he might not have been lying, but its a big chance that you were not the first, but he told you that, i guess to make you feel special.  

Answer 26

Why not ask the real question? What was it about your upbringing that left you so lacking in moral character, integrity and compassion?

Answer 27

Because YOU let him.