Why would he do this? How would you have handled it?

Question

I'm a protestant and there were several priest at my church. One of them, I asked for help to go to this conference (I was 16) b/c my mom couldn't afford to pay for it all. He agreed but told everyone he was helping me. It hurt really badly. Then, we I was a senior in h s, I was at a meeting he asked me to attend and people were asking me about college. I told them I was accepted into one of the state univerisities and everyone said congrats but him. I told them I really wanted to go to this certain university. He intercepted and said he knew someone there (I think it was another priest) and he could give me a recommendation. He told everyone. I had people walking up to asking me about it. It hurt really badly; I was so mad. I would have gotten accepted without. He didn't even tell me how it went.

I know this is wrong know that I look back, but I was so hurt I didn't even tell him I was accepted....I hadn't even talk to him after that....we didn't really anyway. Someone else told him, and he asked me I told him yes. He said when, I told him 2 weeks ago. I was looking him in the face and saw his nose twitch. He said it was okay.

I'm know going into my fourth year (at a diff univeristy) and it still hurts soooo bad, b/c I looked up to my clergy but they turned out to be so disappointing.

Answer 1

As a university student you are doing well on your own.

Remember that clergy are human as well and they make mistakes like everyone else so put it behind you now.

It is no point dwelling on what he said to whom, just move on and forget about it.

Regards

Andy

Answer 2

Forgive him. Priests are human too. His ego got in the way. He wanted to be known for helping you.  Just let it go. It's all over with. Forgive him for being human, and move on...

Answer 3

First this is not a mens health issue, but let me say your trust in your ministers has turned against you.  I hate to say it but this man is a hippocrit not a minister.  You have been taken by your religion and hurt by the one you trusted.  Trust is a big thing with life and once it is violated it is hard to get it back.  You priest violated your trust.  The worst part of it, is it hurts.  Remember your experience for what people are and continue to believe that people are good until proven otherwise.  The problem is that your trust was violated more than once.  When people ask you about your business, it is okay to tell them in a kind way that it is none of their business.

randy

Answer 4

Look at it this way.  Clergy aren't perfect.  In fact, they can be just as rotten as anyone else.

Look at Matthew 6:1-4.  Service to others is not something we should wear as a badge of honor, saying "Oh, look at what good things I do!"  Your pastor/priest was wrong to rub everyone's noses in his "service" to you, but that's between him and God.

Matthew 6:1-4  "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

2"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

I hope this helps.  Feel free to email me.