Why would he move on to someone else when... ?

Question

My ex and I had a 5 yr relationship, it ended about 6 months ago... it ended because of commitment issues on his part, I was ready to marry him and he always went back and forth on the marriage thing, at times he would tell me he loves me and wants to marry me and at times he would tell me he doesn't know what he wants and he likes the single life but loves me, so because of that he doesn't know what to do... plenty of times I caught him lying to me about things he did, girls he talked to ...etc. The relationship ended because of these reasons.... I was the one that ended it... I felt as though I was his doormat. Soo... I cut off all contact, 4 months later I hear that he started to date another girl, actually they became boyfriend/girlfriend, not just dating. but right after we break up he starts calling someone else his girlfriend... I'm crushed and confused. My question is... if we were together for so long like 5 yrs, and if he loved me like he said he did then why couldn't he commit to me and work on our relationship? I saw him after finding out he had a girlfriend and he said that I hurt him a lot when I left him so that's why he decided to move on...and now he's all about doing the right thing in that relationship and doesn't want to get back together and pretty much said bye bye to the 5 yrs we had while he told me he still loved me... what is going on? I just want to clear my head!

Answer 1

ahh the how could he do that thing...

welcome to men 101

men are pragmatic..

unlike women who are emotional

men are logical, unlike women who are emotional...

do you see a pattern here?

because he is pragmatic , he cuts his losses and moves on..

unlike a women he does not see 5 years as time invested in.. and does not expect a return ( hence why he would not commit )

the reason he hooked up so quickly was she offered him something you couldn't or wouldn't , what that was only you and him know, he hooked quickly because he does not need the drama or a drawn out break up, that he knows he can easily find another women ( especially true if he is white, tall, dark , handsome and well educated )

men want certain question and doubts removed in their head before they commit, and love is not one of them, they consider the long angle, with respect to their life goals and financial security, love they know , can be fleeting and wavering, with varying degrees of commitment from women who claim one thing, but then do another

Answer 2

Well, unfortunately, you cut off all contact.   You gave him the impression that you were gone forever.  he had every right to move on.

Sorry!

Answer 3

he was like that towards you because you allowed him to. jus like you said you felt like his doormat and that's how he treated you. now u kno the next time around either get it how you want it or u have nothing to give.

Answer 4

he is a typical stupid man. men can't see things the way women do. they think about the short term things. he will eventually realize the mistake he made. the only thing you need to do is decide if you will take him back when he comes crawling back to you.

Answer 5

okay let me clear this up for you..... he will lead the next girl on for 5 years and never marry her.. just be glad it was not ten years.. the reason i know this is my roommate did this to a girl because he knew she would stay,, he even cheated on her for two months before she moved back to her mom and dads... so yeah you should just be glad your done and not getting led on anymore.. I promise it will get better.. time will heal you then you can look back and realize what a jerk this guy is

Answer 6

I know it hurts to see him move on after that long,but really,what did you think he would do,come begging for you to come back?Most people do not do that.You have to feel good in your decision to leave,and the reasons why.Maybe you did teach him how to treat a woman,and he will be happy..isn't that what you truly want for someone you loved so much?

Answer 7

You left him for a reason.  Don't concern yourself with what his issues are, they're his and not your problem anymore.  The sooner you leave the past where it belongs then you can move on and flourish in your future.

Answer 8

He didn't love you.  The girls and things you caught him lying about prove it.   And when you ended it.  He went on to do the things he wanted to do,  but couldn't do freely..

Answer 9

some guys are like that. Don't concernt urself that much.