Why would males and females desire to marry an "attractive" partner when any partner would do?

Question

I believe R. Dawkins covers this, but I can't take the time to find it.

Thanks for answering. :)

Answer 1

Overall physical health is equated to symmetry and beauty in the mammalian brain so when we search for the most attractive mate we are trying to harvest the best genes.

Answer 2

"beauty is in the eye of the beholder" We all seek to have someone around us that is pleaseing to our eye.  What do you mean by any partner would do.  All things in a relationship are better if you are attracted to that person, from being able to stand the little quirky things they do to just haveing a general desire to be with them.

Answer 3

I tried an interesting experiment...

For a period of time, I slept with the least attractive women that I could stand being with. After that, almost all women seemed gorgeous. One note: No other men competed with me, for these women...

Later, I had a long-term relationship with a stunningly beautiful woman, and in the end, it almost wasn't worth the energy I had to spend, to defend her from literally every man on the street, who also wanted her, and almost immediately...

Answer 4

There is a zillion studies and books on this but it all boils down to a simple drive for strong genes. Physical attraction is as much chemical as visual but is all related to the minds workings of sexuality. The subconscious mind draws upon the figure or strength. The conscious mind looks for a long term appearance. Few want to marry a bombshell and wake up with  the crypt keeper in 50 years.

This is slightly subjective also as it is arguable that some people "settle" for a less desirable mate ( not ugly by any means, but not the perfect figured person) because they feel there is mental traits that they find unapealing. A male seeing a gorgeous female and then finding that she is conceited or overly prideful, might cause him to settle for a lesser attractive mate because she is gentler to his ego or more receptive to his needs. It is also arguable that one looks for a sexually desirable mate and as they age they accept what their mate has become with age.

Answer 5

I'm sure there's a lot more you could find out with a series of searches on the internet, but I read about something similar once.

According to what I read, men and women subconsciously look for what's considered good "mating material" so to speak.  (there must be a better term, but that's all I could think of.)

What this means is that both look for healthy mates, good skin, good hair, good muscle tone etc.  Men subconsciously look for shapeliness in the form of wider hips than waist.  This is said to show good abilities to procreate.  Women look at a similar ability in procreation by a strong rear end for the men.  This was said to indicate better virility and more ability to procreate as well.

I wish I could find the source, but I read this several years ago.  If I find it, I'll add it to this later.

Search and you should find similar ideas.  They're mostly speculative, but often make perfect common sense.

Not to say that any partner wouldn't work, but wouldn't they want to find someone who was not only attractive to them, but had similar interests?  Makes sense to me.

Answer 6

Very quickly: whether a person is universally considered to be physically attractive or not comes with symmetry of the face, the shape of male jaws, relation of female hips vs waist and shape of female b*****s, and (relatively) the height of a person.

When it comes to the waist, it's said to come from the time when most females were pregnant all the time and males just don't have any chance having offspring with a female who shows signs of pregnancy already.

When it comes to the rest, it's said that people need to be physically very healthy in order to have the 'required' symmetry and stuff. It's easy: it's very likely that a person creates a small 'defect' in the face or brain, because there are so many genes involved in it. In practise it's even so difficult, that almost nobody comes close to these 'requirements'.

The idea is that: only bodies that are physically very very fit (and therefore good for offspring), can 'devote' themselves to creating so-called perfect or almost perfect features, even when not necessary for survival. The same applies to brain size. Big brainsize also seems unnecessary and useless, but by having it, a good and healthy body can "show" that the rest of the body is so healthy that it's even capable of maintaining such a seemingly useless organ - and therefore must be very healthy. That's why people are also attracted to creative and funny people.

Anyway; when it comes to s*x and finding partners, things work exactly as teenagers tell you. Adults are usually less cruel in their explanations, but don't let them confuse you.

Of course the less attractive partner would do, but in the worst circumstances you could imagine you would need a physically healthy body for good offspring.

Even when you rationally know the reason why a certain person has an assymetrical face (because of an accident or something), your inner sexual drive tells you that he or she is not interesting for offspring, because not capable of keeping this complicated organ symmetrical, although it's rationally nonsense.

At the same time, most people know exactly where they stand when it comes to their own attraction. Believe me or not: people calculate their chances when they decide to fall in love (yes, love is a decision). Because they make judgements - could I lose him or her -  they end up choosing less attractive partners.

Most men do not want to marry the perfect looking woman because they're afraid to lose her, easy as that. And most men know exactly who is more attractive and less attractive, although they will never tell you. And most women judge their female friends' sexual attractivity, and never tell each other.



It's true that men find physical attractivity in women more important than women do in men. As for women; women are said to have different preferences, when they're fertile or not fertile. Men with big jaws know that they're considered s**y but unreliable, and the other way around. Both s**y features (healthy) and reliability are very necessary when it comes to having good offspring, because it's potentially disastrous for a woman's baby when the father leaves the woman after one-night. For the man, it matters less. The risk that he puts his child in by letting it grow up without a father, does not offset the number of children he could have by leaving the woman and impregnate others. R. Dawkins is good, yes, I found Geoffrey Miller ('the mating mind') the clearest book though. Scientific but still very readable. But of course, shake off any policitically correctness.