Why would my 14 year old daughter not talk to me about school

Question

She isn't much of a talker, but she will not even tell me what school grades she gets, what lessons shes best in. help, why won't she talk to me

Answer 1

When I was 14 (I'm 19 now) I HATED my mom because she poked her nose into my business ALL the time.

If your daughter is doing fine in school then you really have nothing to worry about. You can call and check her grades with her teachers if you're concerned about them. But my best advice: Don't push her. If she doesn't want to talk about school, then just say "Okay. Well, I'm here if you need any help with anything. I'm pretty good at (insert subject here), so if you have any questions about that I'd love to help. And I'll try my best at the rest." or something like that.  

Answer 2

Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable around you.

The whole "I'm here for you" or "You can talk to me" speeches don't work.  That just makes it worse.

As her parent you have the right to know her grades and you could look that up yourself.

Just treat her like a human being and not a child.

Answer 3

you have to make general chit chat with your daughter dont force it but show interest in other areas like girlie things go out shopping like for make up (if you allow it) clothes and she ll come round,no pressure x

Answer 4

I’m 19 so i can relate at that age 14 teenagers don’t want to talk to their parents even about school or grades. Its like she’s starting to like boys and meet new friends and school at that age kids are embarrassed of their parents its normal .  Just make shore that you have talks with her about s*x drugs alcohol and smoking and fitting in. Teens at that age are influenced by other kids make shore you tell her she can come to you about any problem ever. Let her come to you teens have enough pressure they don’t want parents nagging let her come to you to talk .  

Answer 5

may she feels that if she tells you her grades you might judge her...try to assure that you mean well for her and love her no matter whatever it is...then she will  trust you and be more frank and open to you...

Answer 6

it could be a number of things:

- worried that she is failing/struggling

- having problems with bullying or her peers

- worried about the future college/jobs etc

- or being a hormonal teenager who doesnt want to talk right now.

Answer 7

Well she might be going through the whole " Nobody understands me" phase. It happens. If she doesn't want to converse with you I wouldnt push it.    The best thing you can do is let her know you're there when she needs help.    Dont be offeneded or get your feelings hurt, she's being a teen.  

Answer 8

She's fourteen!

Answer 9

maybe she is going through a hard time and have u ever seen the show the secret life of the american teenager that could be whats happening and watch the show at abcfamily.com

Answer 10

Honestly I'm 15 and I don't talk to my parents about that stuff either. But it's kind of good and kind of bad. Because for me, it's my individuality to show that I can hold my own responsibilities without anyone trying to be part of it. I'm not sure, it's just growing up, and she's going into high school and stuff. Just let her be for a little bit and if it goes on for awhile just sit down and talk to her about it. Good luck!

Answer 11

This seems to be a serious matter as if your not communicating she may not be getting the support from her family that she needs during her schooling.

it may be a good idea to contact one of her teachers and ask about her performance, then sit down with her and casually try to ask how she's liking school and offer your help.

it's usually normal for a teenager to just say good, or fine. But no communication is a bad sign in my opinion.

Answer 12

Probably because she is at that age? You should do more activities with her so she feels more comfortable around you. Be a parent, but also be a friend. Be a role model. I think that a lot of people undermine the importance of playing with their children.

Answer 13

Well, at 14 your parents are no longer 'cool', they are just annoying creatures who live in the same house. She might think her friends will find out if she talks to you. You remember what it was like to be a teen, did you want to talk to your mom when you were 14?

As far as telling you her grades, just tell her she has to. Tell her you expect to see all progress reports and report cards.

Answer 14

hey man, dont sweat, im 14 too, so i guess i sorta feel her pain.

if you know shes not much of a talker, try not to force her to.

im personally quite shy about talking to my parents. have you done anything in the past few months to annoy her, or has she suffered a loss in the family, etc.?

if you want to get her to talk, you have to get her on a roll. talk to her about ordinary things, start with something simple like... What do you think about moms cooking? ( at meals ) then move on to something like, So do you wanna order pizza tomorrow? What your actually trying to do, is get her to tell you something, without you asking. once she does that, just one little statement, keep asking her questions but dont overdo it or she might think your trying to invade her, when you've got her on a roll, try and pop one of those questions youve been meaning to ask. :)

Answer 15

She's just at that age, she'll grow out of it! I was like that too at that age, but i the mean time keep trying to engage her in conversations subtly, maybe do family activities more often. I know it must hurt but it's no reflection on you as a parent, it's just a tenage thing!

Good luck!

Answer 16

Maybe she is having a hard time in school?

Answer 17

Mybe she is having a hard time but she is to embarresed to tell you.

Answer 18

Because she's 14 and sees your questions as invasive.

However, as her parent, it is not only your right, it is your responsiblity to know what grades she is getting, as for social stuff, what she likes, etc, I'd back off that...but if you don't know what her grades are, you don't know when you need to step in and take action.

I imagine you can contact the school to find out about her grades, don't expect her to like this either, as it will be seen as further invasion.

Hm...You could tell her that you need to discuss her grades because you need to know how she is doing in school and ask her to set a time that is good for her.  Don't ask about all the other stuff, focus on the grades and keep it short.  If she's doing good, tell her how proud you are and move on.  If she's doing bad, ask what she needs to do better, then give it to her (within reason, obviously).

Best wishes.

Answer 19

Maybe she is afraid to tell you...open up to her more.

Answer 20

She won't talk to you for many reasons, but mostly because she's 14 and feeling the need to be on her own more. However, you do need to see her report card and any interim reports that indicate she is having trouble. Talk to her Guidance Counselor about having these mailed to you and ask her to let the teachers know you want to be contacted if there are any problems. Also, if she is having problems try to find out why and get her help without getting angry. That will make her more likely to be honest with you.

Answer 21

maybe she just doesnt like school. its really not uncommon. maybe she is just dong really poorly and doesnt want you to know. i would call her teachers and talk to them about how she is doing and what she prticipation is like

Answer 22

Well, this is crazy. I thought parents were supposed to keep track of their kids marks.

Answer 23

Give her some time.

Maybe you're pushing her too hard, or she just doesn't want to.

Kids don't like sharing unless it's willingly.