Why would my boyfriend say he wants me to lose weight then he will marry me?

Question

We have a 5 month old baby, I put on a fair bit of weight when I was pregnant and am probably still 10 kg overweight but not huge! I like being healthy and exercising and was losing weight til he started giving me **** when I had a chocolate milk one day so I started sneaking chocolate when he wasn't around and put more on again! He still hasn't divorced his ex wife that he broke up with before we got together and said if I get to size 10 he'll get the divorce and size 9 or 8 he'll marry me!! What a superficial chauvenist pig! But he is the father of my beautiful son so I let him get away with it! What have I gotten myself into?

Answer 1

Sweetheart this person does not love you for who really are, if your baby is only 5 months old it is going to take a while yet for your body to get back to the way it was before pregnancy, we are not all like the super models, and if you are feeding the baby yourself you need to eat, maybe not chocolate, but that is probably retaliation for the things he is saying to you. He is telling you that if you get to a size 10 he will get a divorce and smaller he will marry you, darling you have a control freak and after marriage, what will he want you to do then. Get out of there while you can, even with a young baby all I can see for you is a life of misery with him dictating your every move. Marriage is hard enough when you love someone with all your heart, which I don't think you do anymore from your question. When you don't it can be h**l. You won't be the first single mum and you certainly won't be the last, you seem to have your head screwed on, you will manage and there are lots of men out there that would treat you right, you don't need to put up with this. Makes me wonder why his first wife broke up with him. Good luck sweetheart to you and your baby, hope things turn out for you, I will be thinking about you.

Answer 2

What an ultimatum, this one is not ready to make a commitment.

Answer 3

This guy is a jerk, I wouldn't marry him if he's the last man on earth and wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire.  It's complete bs.

Answer 4

Looks like you will stay a single mother unless you give in to his demands. Take your son and hit the road and tell him to stay with his present wife. What a creep.

Answer 5

do what YOU want not what he wants your son will suffer if the a hole raises him.

Answer 6

well, you cant do nothing about it instead follow his orders if you really want him to get the divorce. but if your going to think of it, its kinda irrelevant, losing weight barter to divorce? perhaps its just his way of saying that your already gaining weight..

here, just lose weight not for the reason of the divorce. lose weight because you want to be healthy. for your own good. because in the 1st place, love on his ex wife couldn't be defined by weight alone. its very far irrelevant my dear.  

Answer 7

nothing yet that cant be fixed unless you marry him. leave now cause beauty fades and so will his and then you will be left with his crappy personality your child  not have to hear any of that in the future.

Answer 8

He's a disgusting pig. You deserve to be treated much better.

''My boyfriend says he wants me to lose weight and then he'll marry me'' -HE'S BRIBING YOU!!

Take your son and leave! You are wasting your time with this man. Work out some sort of agreement regarding the custody and visitation of your son and dump his sorry ***! And when you've left him, eat all the chocolate you want girl. Don't hide it. Stand up for yourself before he starts completely controlling your life!

EDIT: Do you really want your son to grow up with him as a role model? Do you want this pig teaching your son how to treat a woman? I think not!

Answer 9

I would comply with his wishes and loose the weight, then when the ring is firmly on your finger you should allow yourself to balloon to 300lb and sit there laughing at his sorry ***!

Answer 10

This is just an excuse!!! don't believe him!

Answer 11

You answered your own question...he's shallow and dosnt seem to care much for either you or his wife. It's all about him really and what makes you think he wont do the same to you if he marries you?  

Answer 12

He's a loser. Why would you want to marry someone like that? Let the "wife" deal with him, because I highly doubt if he will ever divorce his wife and marry you whether you lose the weight or not.

Answer 13

He will get the divorce if you get down to a size 10? WTF! What a sack of sh*#! Only you can get yourself out of the situation. I don't feel sorry for weak minded girls that don't stand up for themselves... so get some balls and leave that dude.

Answer 14

to tell you the truth that is soooo wrong in so many ways,m,, he he does love you then size shouldnt matter,,, tell him if he is balding that you will marry him when he gets more hair back or when he looses his belly,,, sooo wrong,,, that should be a sign to not to marry him,, someone that says that is also the same guy that will beat you when you dont do as he says,,you are not his property so leave him,,, isnt it a sign that he has already failed in marrige...

Answer 15

Why the heck would you even consider marrying a guy like that?   Just think what will happen if you lose weight marry him then gain weight again.  He will leave you because you gained weight.

Answer 16

I don't know but if that is the only way he will get a divorce or marry you what would happen if you marry him and then the weight comes back. I personally lost the weight easy when I had my children but I hear that the people who have a hard time getting the weight off gain more and it becomes hard to take off with each kid they have. So if that happens and he is so shallow would he divorce you and is this the real reason he is not wanting to be with his wife.

Answer 17

He should marry you because he loves you, not with stipulations.  Eat the chocolate in front of him, dont hide anything, he will accept you the way you are or not at all.  Let him know your not so sure you want to marry him!

Answer 18

now u wonder why he left his first wife...and yet they're not divorced yet...i think he is just making excuses about your fat so he'll divorce her and marry u...that's full of c**p! the truth is he cannot make up his own mind but stuck with two women in his life. He loved the way you were s**y and cheating around....now he realize that its no fun anymore, its real life and he has to deal with it..but he is not...what u can do is dump him and focus on ur own life and enjoy and be happy, he can choose to CHASE after you or sorry *** back to his wife.

Answer 19

i dnt know what u have got urself into but seriously sling him he is rubbish  

Answer 20

I'm sorry, he sounds like a loser, why should he tell you to lose weight, then he'll divorce his ex wife. It sounds like he'll just keep giving you ultimatums and try to control you. Be careful

Answer 21

Why would you degrade yourself so much by letting him get away with treating you poorly...and saying mean things to you?  Get yourself some boundaries girl...and don't let anyone cross them.  He's controlling you and manipulating you... why would you let him do that to you?  Respect yourself enough to not let anyone treat you like this... and you're right.  He is a superficial chauvinistic pig... but you are allowing him to treat you this way.  Expect more of the same in your life with this man.... If he really loved you, he'd be divorced and looking to get married to you.......but he's not...is he.

Answer 22

Because he is a control-freak who wants to find out if he can say "jump" will you say "how high".

More fool you for having a baby with this moron.  Is your middle name "Doormat"?