Why would my brother's wife having a baby upset me?

Question

I have 3 lovely children - and KNOW I don't want any more. I suffer from bi-polar and am completely surprised that my lovely nephew being born has triggered a huge manic episode.

My nephew is beautiful, but I haven't held him and don't want to. I suddenly feel like I have no capacity to love any more family (I have lots), I feel like I have failed my own children as my husband is a perpetual business man who insists I work in all his businesses, so I have little time for my own children. I think I am jealous as my sister in law will be staying at home with baby, but how the h**l do I get over this?

I need an answer from someone who understands bi-polar really.

I am more concerned that although I have withdrawn from regularly seeing people before, I now have an aversion to going to visit. It's worrying me all the time.

Fortunately, I am able to hide behind my own children as they want to do all the cuddling and fussing over the new baby but it will show eventually.

Answer 1

It could be you're either jealous of the time between your sister-in law and her new baby and that you feel you you're not able to have the same bond with your own kids at the moment. Or that her baby is completely dependant on your sister-in-law and it's making you feel like you're not needed as much by your own children. Or even that you are a bit jealous of all the attention being lavished on the new baby and its mother. The only one that can say for sure what you feel is you, either way you can't look at yourself as a bad mother. I'm sure if you asked anyone close if they thought you were, they would be shocked. The fact that you feel you have failed your children shows that you care about them, and caring mothers are not bad mothers.

Take a little time off and enjoy your kids.

Answer 2

I guess you are jealous because she has the life that you want. Stay at home with the kids. I think you said it all. BTW..why is everybody bipolar these days? I think it an excuse to feed people new drugs.

Answer 3

What I would think about is that here is a nephew, someone whom you can spoil and cuddle, buy things for and treat to an occassional movie, BUT then give him back to his parents for food, clothes and shelter!  Lol.  That way you can still have fun with your nephew and still enjoy your life the way it is.

Answer 4

Because you want a kid.  It's like when someone gets jelous that their best friend is getting married. It's not they they are angry at them, but they wonder whats  happening to their life that thats not happening. Theres nothing wrong with that, i just wouldn't tell them that, just act happy.

Answer 5

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