Why would the United States Marines reject Jesus if he tried to join?

Question

His heart would be in the right place. (Wants to join) He can walk on water and if he were to be shot and died he'd rise up again to fight another day. He could feed thousand of troops with a little bit of food in his hands. He can bring back the troops who have been killed and turn hate into respect. Would the Marines reject a man like that?

Answer 1

Yes, the private corporations would loose money because Jesus would be feeding the troops.

Answer 2

I dont think they let Mexicans in to the Marines unless they were born here.

Answer 3

Jesus wouldn't enlist in any branch of the military...

Answer 4

jesus is a peace love far left liberal communist

yes he is a communist cuz he was like, give 1/3 of ur money to social welfare

he is a wussy cuz he probably wont pick up a gun

and the military would be turned into pansies by his lectures about peace...making us lose the war

Answer 5

He would fail the swimming test due to the holes in his hands and feet.

Answer 6

does he take direction well?  I am thinking the DI would get rid of him.

Answer 7

If I recall, Jesus was killed in Iraq while trying to save Santa from insurgents with the help of Kyle Stan and Cartman, and he killed quite a few people.

Answer 8

Probably. Jesus would be a contientious objector. Since it is an all-volunteer force, there's no need for someone who will not fight.

Though, He could become a Navy corpsman, or a chaplain, sure.

Jesus wasn't a soldier; He was a teacher.

Answer 9

And the reason he would want to join the Marines would be ...?

Last I heard, he encouraged people to get along with each other, not bomb each other to smithereens.  After more than 2,000 years, you'd think someone would start to listen.