Why would they do this...they hurt my feelings so badly?

Question

I'm an episcopalian & the dean (head priest) came to my church when I was a sophomore in high school. He's married with kids. I used to think he was nice; he would call me dear heart sometimes. When I got a little older he stopped calling me that...why? His wife also used to be nice to me...she donated money so I could do this leardership thing. I told her thank you, and she I deserved it & gave me a hug. When I had to come back home from college b/c of Katrina, she & her husband called me. He talked to my uncle and when he asked he said he didn't want to talk to me. She talked to my aunt & left her # and told her to tell me to call her. I did 3 times, but she never returned my messages. One day I said hello to her after the service, she said hi & turned her back to me. I tried to talk to him after the service one day. He stopped me, said he had to do something, and went to talk to other people. When she led a committee & needed info from me she talked to my uncle & not me even though I was @ church.

Answer 1

ask them...Not enough information here for an opinion.

Answer 2

Stop him one day , if he says that he is busy , you will have to stop him , go to starbucks or somewhere quiet , sort everything out... Maybe it's just an misunderstanding

Answer 3

you won't know until you ask them, might just be a missunderstanding

Answer 4

Well this all sounds a bit confusing From what you have written here you don't have any clear communication to help you understand if there is a problem or not. I do see that the things that have been happening are difficult to understand. But without some clear talk you'll always just be guessing and dancing around the issues that may or may not be real. I'd ask for an appointment to talk to them together and just lay it out. Start with your appreciation of all they've done and how much you appreciate not only their help with the money but the way they helped you by being role models while you were growing up. You should write a list of this kind of stuff (the real deal) to help them understand how much you appreciate them. Then get into some of the things that you have been feeling and just ask straight out is everything between us ok? Because if I've done something wrong I want to understand what it is and apologize for anything I may have done.

Look everyone does stupid stuff and sometimes we don't even realize what we've done until we see it from another point of view.

Answer 5

Maybe he admitted to his wife at some point that he was attracted to you, so she made him shun you.  Or maybe she just got jealous on her own and made him stop speaking to you.

Or else someone made up some lies about you.

I'm just guessing, of course.

Answer 6

huh. i realy dont know. i would say ask them whats up, but its really hard thing to do if they are avoiding you so much. ask around people that know them and see if they know whats up with them. im really sorry this is happening to you. good luck i hope this helps  

Answer 7

Find another church and get on with your life.  If you can't figure out what happened, then there is nothing you can do about it now.

This is why I avoid religion at all costs... it's too political.