Why would they have given up there child for adoption..?

Question

There is this family who I met and now know.They have a teenage daughter who they see once in a while,however she was put up for adoption after their second child who is severly mentally disabled and has been that way since birth,and needs round clock care.There is a year difference between the firstborn daughter and the second born son,so they gave her up around a year old or so.They went on and had 2 more kids after that.So they have four children but the girl does not live with them,just visits once and a while.

The family is very cute and always seems happy,and in the brief amount of time I spent with the girl,she was very nice and very sweet as well.

Do you think it was completley fair that they gave up their daughter,or do you think they had a good reason?

Answer 1

Because they are selfish. This story makes me sick.

Answer 2

I'm sure it was very overwhelming to take care of a young child and then to have a newborn with special needs all at the same time.  Thier decision to give thier firstborn up for adoption was very difficult but they probably felt it was in the best interest of both children.

Answer 3

I'm sure this family has a good reason. Maybe once your friendship is really grounded you could ask them or they may reveal it to you.

Answer 4

i'm with Havannah, even though it does seem pretty weird.

Answer 5

Everybody makes decisions that, looking back we regret.  I'm sure that's one decision that they regret now but at the time seemed the best for the children.  They might have thought that a severely handicapped child would probably not get adopted, and the first born would suffer because they couldn't tend to her like they thought she needed.  Who knows why they made the decision they did but at least from the sounds of it, that things have worked out really well for all them and ultimately that's all that matters whether you or anyone agrees with their decision or not.

Answer 6

Life isn't fair.  In fact, anytime adoption or abandonment happens it's proof positive life is unfair to the family of origin (and adoptee because of that original loss).

Does the reason even matter in relevance to their situation now?  What I see in your story of this family is proof positive of making the best of the situation that happened in the past.  Just because one child is placed for adoption, that doesn't doom the family of origin to that same set of circumstances for the rest of their lives.

The only reason to look at the reasons for placement is to look at adoption in the bigger picture and see if there is more reason for reform.  To see how we can protect families from being separated unnecessarily instead of encouraging more abandonment.  Otherwise the reasons only matter to the family of origin and that adopted person.

Answer 7

ye that seems unfair to me, poor kid, how abandoned would you feel having bonded with your parents for your first year of life and then being given away only for them to have more children!! they should be ashamed

i look at my son now and nothing in this world would make me give him up

Answer 8

if you really want to know it sounds like you need to ask them instead of us.

Answer 9

sometimes parents do what is best for their children even if it makes them sad. The close age was probably to much to handle and wanted their daughter to get all the attention she needed and deserved. The other children are probably much younger. It was their decision and I suppose it was right.

Answer 10

I cannot answer that because I dont know the full story. People do things for their own reasons. If they are a happy family then it must have been for the best.