Why would you give your baby away?

Question

it would tear my heart out to do this!

Answer 1

Would you prefer someone to abort the child instead?

Answer 2

In this day and age life has become disposable. Via many methods. Raising a child is hard work. Now days people look for the simple fast solution to a problem. Irresponsibility is running rampant. Everyone wants to do as they wish with out facing the consequences. Such as having s*x, being foster parents, pretending to be  a CPS worker, or a person in a position of power. They want it all but are unwilling to be responsible for their actions or responsible for their decisions.

The foster care and adoption industry are based on not facing the consequences of their actions.. it's no wonder they would encourage this in others...

Answer 3

Well, praise yourself lucky you never found yourself in a situation where there is no other way out. Trust me, it breaks the mother's heart as much as it would break yours.

Answer 4

Yes it would. Imagine all the women in the world who have given birth and their children have been taken away from them because they were too young, or it brought shame on their family, In some cases children have been raised by their grandparents unknowingly, believing that their grandparents are really their parents. It is always better to give birth to a child and give it life than to abort the child. We are not here to play god and decide who lives and who dies. Any mother who gives away her child has a reason for it, and any mother who aborts a child obviously has no support for a child or is a very selfish person. In certain cases obviously such as rape or child abuse, I can understand abortion. But I believe that Adoption is always better than Abortion. Heartbreaking but a must for some.

Answer 5

would never give my kids away.never.

Answer 6

I could have done when she was newborn i was suffering with bad pnd and self harming as a result.I found it hard to hold her cause i felt like a c**p mother and anyone else would have been better for her than me.But now I'm ok and i could never give her away so I'm glad i didn't xxxx

Answer 7

you wouldn't but sometime there might be a bad situation were the birth mother just has to and if it wasn't for these mothers not aborting the child and choosing adoption motherless women would never get that chance to be a mother i have 6 and couldn't live without mine

Answer 8

I was taken from my mother and step-father when I was 4, thankfully.

Now a mother of my own I could NEVER ever bare to be apart from my babies. It would physically destroy me.

Answer 9

It is very easy to judge people when you have not been in their situation. It is a heart wrenching decision, and I know it is one not made lightly. Women who place their babies for adoption should not be made to feel guilty for their decision by anyone.  Only one who has done it can know the personal cost and the reasons for their decision. They need to be respected, not vilified.

Answer 10

As a mother I can't understand why you put that ridiculous avatar or photo or drawing or whatever it is on your post, either.  But then each of us makes our own decisions.

Just because YOU cannot see making that choice, doesn't mean it is wrong for others.

Believe me, women have very good reasons for choosing adoption.  And if a woman is able to make that decision, then perhaps it is the best one for the child.

Answer 11

stolen,tricked,all sorts of slimely ways,not all are "given up" willingly dear.

Answer 12

Well I'm not a mother.

But, I did a study on this a few months ago, researched into adoption and abortion as well.

My results were that often a baby is given up for adoption because of the mothers welfare. Not saying she is an un-fit mother, but because she had problems that aren't yet resolved.

A major thing I looked into was women who were raped, most then went on to either abort their baby because carrying a rapists child was too much for them. Or, they carried the baby, but when the baby was born, they couldn't bond with him/her - purely because of who the baby's dad was. ( Which I was told can be seen as post-Natal depression. )

Its a pretty sad thing when you look into it.

However, I don't think people should judge because of their decision, a few of the people I was doing the project with were very immature and had a very nasty attitude towards the women who put their baby for adoption, or aborted their baby.

I also concluded that if the baby isn't going to be loved because the mother feels she can't, then the baby is better off with a family who he/she isn't biologically related to, but they will love him/her.

Answer 13

For those of you who do not know I am Rachaels nmom. I loved her father very deeply and still do, he is my good friend today. She would have been fresh meat to my family, there is no doubt in my mind, especially after talking to my female cousins. Incest was rampant in my family and although it sounds like I got the worst of it I was not alone.

Bizzi91 is absolutely correct, damned if you do and damned if you don't. I took my chances with don't, and it worked. She got everything I hoped she would and more. Now she has her father and my self too.

If you think giving a child away would rip your heart out (which it does) try thinking about all the abuse she would suffer if you kept her. Knowing it was happening and not being able to do anything about it. If you report them guess what happens???

Better to give than to have them taken. It was just a little easier for me to swallow being my choice not theirs.

Answer 14

For the best intrests of the baby in most cases.  The parent(s) feel that the baby would have a better life with other people.  I think in 99% of cases, adoption isn't selfish and would even consider it to be a very brave choice.  I don't think I could do it personally but I would never judge people who choose to.

Answer 15

I couldnt do it but some people feel the child would be better off with other people.

Answer 16

yeah  darling that is truth ..

Answer 17

Trying to be generous.

Answer 18

As a man I cant answer this..

However I can accept that there are circumstances where it can be justified..

I was raised in care and kids came in all the time who were taken away from parents for many reasons.

Personally I dont think I could do it, I just feel that if you have given birth  then you have the resposibility of raising the child, but its not always that cut and dried or simple..

Apologies to anyone who may have been offended by my  viewpoint..

Answer 19

Unless you have been put in that situation , you cannot answer that question, & until you are in that situation you would not truly know what you would do,

Answer 20

i am adopted, i didnt question why because i assumed there was a very good reason. even if that reason was she just didnt want me or love me. good enough for me. i was loved and cared for so it worked out. then i found my bioparents and the truth was much more dark. how about these reasons:

alocohol abuse                     vietnam trauma

drug abuse                            teenagers

incest                                    

these are some of the reasons my bioparents gave me up. my bmother has told me she would rather live her life without me than to allow me to fall victim to the sexual abuse the men in her family gave to her. i would have been fresh meat to them. she refused to let that happen. so on a leap of faith and a prayer she let me go in hopes i would find ward and june cleaver waiting for me.

guess what? they were waiting. i was raised in a family almost like the cleavers. no kidding. i dont know where i would have ended up had she kept me. but the possibilities are frightening.

she beat herself up for 28 years about her choice, wondering if i was ok, if i was cared for, if i ended up a victim anyway. then i found her and her heart was finally at peace. i was fine and had everything she wished for me.

this is my story. others have much different ones, but for me the selfless act of scared teenager gave me a wonderful life. she is my best friend and i would lay down my life for her. how anyone like me got so lucky to have two sets of parents as  wonderful as mine is beyond me. but im not complaining.

Answer 21

It would depend how much I was offered - I've got two up for grabs if anyone's interested?? (Kidding!)

Answer 22

Well "I" wouldn't. But I respect the ones who do it for the right reasons. If you have made the decision that you couldn't raise the child properly for reasons of age or finances or your life situation, then by all means give someone who "wants" a child that opportunity.

Answer 23

This is one thing I will NEVER understand, im not judging those who do but I just personally couldn't give away my own baby and IF I did want to I know for a fact my family wouldn't allow it, i just dont understand it and am really interested in what answers you get

Answer 24

BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE FREEDOM TO DO WHAT YOU WANT

Answer 25

some people can just not cope with the strain of having a child at that point in thier lives but probably couldnt go through with an abortion! its helping other couples that have a stable family life and want children but are unable to conceive. Its not as if the person is heartless for giving their child away they are just doing what is best for them and especially the child! x*x

Answer 26

Sometimes, circumstances are not right for keeping and raising a child.  You do the best thing for the child - even if that includes giving him away.

You don't ever forget him - he is always in your mind and heart.  And some day, if you are lucky enough, you'll get to meet him for the first time.

I did.  I met him when he was 19 years old - he is almost 36 now.  We became close for a while but his "parents" were jealous and I had to let him go again.

Please, don't judge parents who give up their child/children for adoption.  We really do try to do the right thing for the child.

Answer 27

I have never been in the position to give my child up for adoption, and I know it must be a heartwrenching decision.  I think that in order to do this, a birth mother must understand love in a deeper meaning than most people.  

When you truly love someone, it is not about yourself.  Perhaps they want their child to have a life they know they can not provide, and so instead of giving them a life that the birthmother believes would be less than the child deserves, she does what she believes is best.

Answer 28

Because some women can't afford to take care of the children. Some women just simply have unwanted pregnancies & aren't prepared for raising a child.

Answer 29

because they know they cant be the mother the child wants ..

they cant support it they cant raise it ..

because they feel that they deserve a much better life than what they can give them .. so they give it away to a suitable family that can raise it right !

Answer 30

I would only if i was completely desperate. I can see why some women do, in the past it was considered that if you had a child out of wedlock, it was worse than murder, so many young women were forced to give up their child, thank heavens that doesn't happen now,  at least in most western societies.

Answer 31

Unless you have been in that situation you will never understand why. Maybe having a baby was not right for them, but couldn't go though with having an abortion.  I always hope that people are sensible enough when it comes to "making baby's" and know all possible outcomes x x