Wife doesn't tell it all when it comes to Masturbating?

Question

Some background, been married faithfully to my wife for 18 years. Halfway through the marriage she gets a vibrator as a "present" from a friend. I'm ok with that, really, BTW I would loved to see her use it but she claimed she doesn't. Even though at the time I asked to see and play around with it with her she said no. Years pass and we move to a new house and during the move the vibrator falls out from a box. The vibrator falls hits the ground and turns on. I guess it had a super set of long-life batteries :). She turns beet red and says she thought she threw it away. I didn't say anything more about it but have these questions that won't go away.

Why would my wife feel that she would have to keep that a secret?

BTW neither of us were from very religious backgrounds so I don't think it has to do with religion. I do think that 99 percent of the time we tell the truth to each other. Our s*x life is good, our communication in all other aspects of our marriage is good, But why the hangup on this, it 's just a vibrator and if she needs a little something something then by all means go for it.

Here's a question for the ladies, do you secretly m********e with toys or not and keep this a secret from your man. If so, why?

Answer 1

I think, only she knows the answer why.

But if a woman m********e secretly, the first reason could be that during s*x she doesn`t get physically and emotionally what she wants, so she doesn`t enjoy it. If the man is to fast,does`t care enough, etc. she will get alone what she desires. Vibrators can be dangerous, women can addapt easily if they use to much. And if they already addapted, it will be a bit hard to quit. Because they are always searching that feeling what the vibator gives, but the man`s p***s can`t give that.

But, as I told only your wife knows the correct answer. Maybe you should ask her.;-)

Answer 2

I don't keep it from my husband but I am secretive when I do use it. Sometimes he will walk in on me and for some reason it's embarrassing each time.

If she does or doesn't use it she should at least step up to the fact that she owns one. I personally think every women should own one if they use it or not. Sometime in their life it will come in handy.

Just treat the subject lightly and maybe one day she will be confident enough to let you in on more.

Answer 3

smell it to see if its being used

Answer 4

For me, it's not really to be secretive, but rather just to use when the urge is there and/or hubby is not around.  Same reasons you do.

Answer 5

Maybe she does not want to make you feel bad. Men don't understand that there is a different sensation when using a vibrator.

Answer 6

she's perhaps embarassed to tell you that she uses it, she might also think you'll be upset that she uses something other than yours. I used to have one (ditched it when we emmigrated incase our shipment was inspected) and, it was my hubby that brought it for me. He knew i had it and so assumed i used it, it was something that we just never happened to have a discussion about and, we used it together as an added something. Maybe one time when you guys are having s*x you should just start using it on her, dont ask her or discuss it, just whip it out and give it a go. That might break down her embarassment.

Answer 7

No I don't as we have way too much fun using them together.... wouldn't be the same alone! She obviously feels a bit embarrassed. Maybe she thinks you will feel offended and have your manhood questioned if she owns up to it? and you have to consider the fact (and apologies for being so honest) that maybe she is having more fun with that than with you? If that's the case then that's kinda her fault for not pointing out exactly what she wants in bed. You should go on a dirty weekend away with the vibrator in question and reinvent your s*x life :-)

Answer 8

She's probably a little embarrassed that she enjoys it and she's probably afraid that the fact that she enjoys it will hurt your feelings or ego. My suggestion would be to buy a new toy for you to use on her. Try making a romantic evening out of it. Whatever you do, don't tease her about it. She's obviously sensitive about it.  

Answer 9

yeah, sort of because sometimes I fantasized about someone else which didn't mean I wanted to go out side of the marriage- it was just fantasy.

I hid it because once my 6 year old found it in the drawer and asked what it was....

Answer 10

Do you tell your wife when you m********e?? I am sure you don't. It is her privacy and does not mean she dislikes you in any way. Same for you....sometimes its good to do things yourself. She is obviously a bit embarrassed so try to introduce it to your love making when she is very turned on and she may really enjoy it.

Please stop worrying about it.

Good luck

Answer 11

Why does it matter?  Just because you are married does not mean you have to know every little detail.  Some things are private and should be done alone, like clipping nose hair ect.  Just because you are married does not mean that all things are to be done together.  Maybe she wants it to be something she does alone because she is shy about it.  It is not hurting anyone and why make her feel bad about it?  For the last question you asked :  yes and it is because I can get what I want without any bull, just what I want ,when I want it.

Answer 12

It has never been a secret in our house. I just don't call him after every time to let him know.

We use them, he uses them on me, vice versa and I will let him watch.

I mean if you can't have a h**l of a good time with your husband in the bedroom, then who can you have it with?

Answer 13

I think she has a right to have some secrets if she wants to. If this is the only thing she is keeping secret...be happy.