Wife left with 8 mth old baby 1000 miles way,Divorce and Custpdy Battle for past 6 mths ....?

Question

I raised my son as the primary caregiver while earning the bulk of the income for the first 8 mths of his life.He bonded to me more than to my wife,or at least equally.She felt that I was "keeping her" from her baby and took of with him.I field for divorce when I learned that she was trying to file in the state she took off to.

We had a temp hearing where we agreed for her to have temp full custody and I get a 20 day visitation period.We had the 20 day visit,he has been back to her now for 1 mth.I called today asking her if she had considered us just coming to some agreement and settling out of court,as to what type of visitation would she want me to have with the child or does she just want me completely out of his life.Shesaid the being completely out of his life was "up to me" and then started talking to me about my having anger issues,and I replied to her that her family making my son cry and me having a problem wih that is me having anger issues and she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about.Anyway I told her that I am not the only one with "anger issues here" and I guess we can just take it to a fkg judge and she hung up on me.

I can not figure out what is best for my son.Should I just totally sign over my rights to him,or wait to see the outcome of the Judges order?I have the abiliy to supeona 10 non related witnesses that wrote affidavits and she can only suponea her mother as that is the only one that filed an affidavit for her on the restraining order hearing.I beleive we will both be ordered psych evaluations,I stand a very strong case for full custody due to I initially raised him,she filed a totally exagerated and errouneous ex parte attempt that was dismissed and she wrote on the internet that she has hallucinations,suicidal thoughts,she fled with the baby 1000 miles from me claiming she was in fear for the child's safety and then agreed for me to have him for 20 days.What would you do in such a hostile situation where the baby doesnt even recognise me anymore?

Answer 1

DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS TO YOUR BABY!!!!! If you do, she will never let you see the child. Let her take you to court, if the things you say are true, she will have a hard time proving you unfit. The courts are not stupid, they will see through her bs. Just hang tight and get a good lawyer. Women tend to think they are better for the child then men, not the case. You just need to keep the mentality that even though you can no longer be husband and wife, you can still be mom and dad. Keep that mantra in mind, the courts will eat it up.

Answer 2

sweetie keep you focus on the child. you must do whats best for him. if the mother is not stable mentally, financially, and is living with other people and if you are the better parent than YOU GO FOR IT and dont stop until you have CUSTODY of you son. yes its ashame that a fight like this has to happen but women can lose sight of reality and the focus of the welfare of the child just to get even with the other parent. but you hang in there for your child. fortunately your son is so young that he DOESNT know what is going on between the two of you, but continue the fight. its not about you and its not about her its about the welfare of the BABY. GodBless

Answer 3

The baby will recognize you, the child is young, you have time to bond no matter what age.

If you want the child for his safety and wellbeing, because you CAN provide a better life and you DO love him, then FIGHT for your right to have him.

If you believe your ex can provide a better life, then FIGHT for your visitation rights!!!! Don't let her get away with taking your child if you love him!! If you don't love the child, then that would be an easy decision though, wouldn't it?

FIGHT, man FIGHT, no father, no mother should give up just because it's 'too hard'.

Regain your strength and momentum and do whatever it takes to get as close to what you want as you can get!!!!

Answer 4

ok you raised your child for the first 8 months and you don't know whether you should sign off of the child I'm sorry but what kind of person are you to even think that? And if you are thinking that then you don't even deserve this child.When people love something or someone they fight for it no matter what. The mother sounds unstable and you want to give the child up and be brought up in that environment. So you need to ask yourself do you love this child?

Answer 5

WAIT FORTHE HEARING ! she obviously doesn't need to have your precious little boy if she is suicidal and has hallucinations thats a hazard to your sons health not to mention the fact that she won't be able to raise him properly in that mental state of mind. She should be woman enough to face the realization that she is not a fit mother for her son she may have given birth to him but it takes a lot more effort patience and strength to raise a child then what she has.the judge will have the facts in front of him and he will know whats right for your son. at this point I know the waiting game sucks and you miss your little guy really bad but your patience will soon be rewarded and justice will prevail.....just hang in there and stay calm becuase any little blowup can be the outcome of your childs future. (she may be a b-iotch and all but keep anger out of it your son needs you now more then ever) good luck to you and your little boy. you'll be in my prayers

Answer 6

Do not sign over your rights. If you love your son make sure you stay in his life even if  that means a long court battle.

Answer 7

Does your son have the right to have both parents in his life? Does he have the right to have both parents love him? Of course he does, and for that reason alone you will fight for him.

Yes he may be confused, but the idea that you "save the child grief" by disallowing him to be with one parent is ridiculous. In fact it is called PAS or parent allienation sysndrom- which is exactly what she is doing when she pulls all that c**p and later begins to bad-mouth you to the little boy. You are his only chance at a normal life and love.

She is whack-o so you better start reading up on your state laws and custody and keep fighting. You can do a lot of it on your own. As you see courts arn't about justice and often side with the mother but more and more dad's are fighting for their kids.

Search for a local father's rights- organizations which give advice from other dads who have been through the ringer.

Answer 8

You need to let the judge decide but dude, don't make it sound as if it was that easy to give up custody or the rights to see your son, it makes you look like you don't give a d**n and anyways who would give up the parental right of their child? just let the courts handle they will fix it so that both of you can share that baby. Good luck.

Answer 9

if you are completely willing to care for your son on your own then i would wait for the judges decision, if i were you i would print out whatever your ex has said about herself and talk to the judge about that or the lawyer it will help your case further, if you son is only 8 months old he will get to know you within a few days and will forget about his mother within a few months, if your ex is stating that she is in fear for her child and as well as stating that she wants to commit suicide this could lead to her killing the boy as well as herself because women who are unstable like that tend to believe the child can not live without them so they put them out of their misery as well, if you are going to be given a psych evaluation then the Dr. will determine that she is an unfit mother i would not give up hope until the judge has decided do not sign over custody keep with it until its over.

Answer 10

Do not give up your son!  If she is that troubled, he needs to have at least one stable parent in his life.  And if you do give him up and she's that awful, he may very well blame you later in life for abandoning him to be raised by her.  Children need their fathers, sounds like your son more than some, and you sound like a good father.  Don't worry about not being recognized by your son anymore, he's still just a baby and will remember Daddy when you get custody.