Wife overseas... house is a wreck... HELP?

Question

My wife travels overseas for 2 or 3 weeks a month.

Guys might say cool,I say not.

Here is the conundrum:

Which parts of the house are priorities, I know about dishes, pizza boxes and beer bottles.

I'm after the real things, I tried a professional cleaner once and got busted. Too clean.

I tried the do nothing...busted...too lazy.

I need a happy medium to look like I tried and failed, just like a man is supposed to.

She comes home on friday night. PLEASE HELP ME

Answer 1

clean anything thats dirty!!  It's not that hard!!

Answer 2

Just set the house on fire and you won't have to worry about it.  

Answer 3

Try cleaning the house yourself. You ARE a grown man, an d perfectly of cleaning up yourself. I feel sorry for your wife. Do you think all the domestic tasks are exclusively hers? What a loser.

Answer 4

make sure the kitchen and bathrooms are clean, dust and pick up and run the vacuum cleaner, mop the kitchen and bathroom floors

Answer 5

Why not just have a professional cleaner come in say like 2 weeks before she gets home, that way you can mess it up a little bit in the 2 weeks, or you could just clean yourself which is probably what i would be doing

Answer 6

nude maid service works for me

Answer 7

Hire a professional cleaner again, and then order some pizza, spill some beer and mop it up. Leave a few crumbs lying around, but not too many.  

Answer 8

My hubby does the cleaning and does a great job...

First just pick up all the trash and throw it away.

-start with each room...sweep/vaccum, clean all surfaces with disinfectant/cleaner...make sure everything is put away in its place, bed made, clothes put away, etc

should not be that hard...Good Luck!

Answer 9

kitchen, bathroom and clean bedding

Answer 10

just clean your house!! The kitchen the bathroom and vacuum!! it is really not that hard....Not all men can't clean up after themselves!!!

Answer 11

Pick up the house and take the trash out... run the vacuum and make sure the dishes are done. And for goodness sake, do some laundry!