Wife question..honest answers please ?

Question

My wife left me 3 months ago and i found out she was cheating on me with another girl. I miss her dearly and its so hard for me. We do have 2 kids. Im 25 and shes 23. I've been trying to talk to other girls but its hard and feels wrong. She told me its over but wont give me a reason. She lives with her mom and step dad and her mom and i have a good relationship (she'll call me up and well talk for about 2 hours some nites).Her mom said she wont tell her anything and i told her mom about the whole L*****n thing and she was made and told my wife about it. I do love her alot and miss the kids to. I havent slept in my bed in 3 months or really been at my house unless i have the kids.

Shes out going to clubs and partying it up. She did tell me that she missed her life, but thats no reason to leave your husband since we've been together for 7 years. Is it right for me to feel this way? Should i kinda wait for her? What do i have to do to make her notice me again?She does seem alittle said,but idont know what its from. There is going to be a big trust issue if i take her back, but i dont know if i want that. Honestly, i really did worship her. I never did anything to make her think twice about are relationship.But to her i did..I need some major help. I am talking to another girl, but it feels weird and i dont want to make her a rebound girl (shes a virgin and that doesnt bother me). Any help would be great.

Answer 1

1.  stop talking to the other girl.  the "rebound girl" is exactly what you will be making her.  this is not fair to bring another person into your mind state right now.  justifiably, you are a mess emotionally.

2.  question why you would want someone back that is a) a L*****n (don't think for a second that you won't wonder if she isn't doing this again with another girl) b) a liar c) a cheat d) a party girl.  none of these things exactly point to long term reliability and truthworthiness.

3.  she is giving you mixed messages.  she knows that she can play you like a yo yo and if things don't work out on the club circuit she can always have you as a "safety".  do you honestly think that she's sitting at home crying her eyes out over you?  i wouldnt count on it dude.  when she's out drinking, dancing, etc.  you probably do not even cross her mind.  that might be hard to hear, but it's true.  

4.  be careful about the relationshp that you have with her mother.  that has the the potential to be awkward and counterproductive.  think about it...you are her husband and you couldnt get this woman to wise up and settle down.  do you think her mom is going to be able to either?  you are trying to make your mom your interventionist.  she won't do it.  she'll listen to you, but it's mostly lip service.

in summation, i know that this is hard for you.  i'm not going to pretend that i can relate, because i cannot.  however, what i will tell you is...it's time to get your self respect back.  let your wife know that you will no longer allow yourself to be treated in this way.  tell her that any contact with her will be relegated to things concerning your kids.  set up a visitation schedule with her.  if you stick to a hard line, you will see where she is at mentally.  don't budge.  if she does come back, tell her that there will be changes, and the next time that she cheats there will be no second chances.  insist on counseling for the issues in your marriage.  she messed up, so if she wants back in, she should acquiesce to your terms.  

Answer 2

talk to your ex tell her that she can still go party and have fun and still be married to you and let her bring her girlfriend over and you all can have some fun ;)

Answer 3

You've got to move on.  She has.  If you keep thinking that you could get back together, it will just obsess you day in and day out and you will never have any peace.  You've got to have some contact with her because of the kids, but otherwise I'd try to limit contact with her, her mother, or anyone related to her as much as possible.  You've got to cut the cord.  A new girlfriend who loves you would be a huge help with that.

Answer 4

You are going to have to get over your wife, you need to find a balance in your new life. It dosent sound like you are ready for a serious relationship. Maybe a non virgin for some fun wild times might me more in order.

Answer 5

Hmmm, looks like the Britney syndrome. She is just immature and right now she's going to do more harm than good. Get the children away from her, and make sure you get full custody. One day she's gonna wake up and realize that she's wrong, and by that time you would have moved on, heck, maybe you'll have a new girl friend.

If you keep her around, just coz of the sake of love, you are destroying your kids lives. and maybe yours, Who knows what she might catch and pass it on to you.

Answer 6

Invite the wife and her girlfriend over :)

Answer 7

Josh, save your money, and save your energy.

Hire an attroney, hire a PI  and fight for custody of your children.

Those young ones, should not be raised by her, or her parents.

Your wife is escaping responsibility because , SHE CAN.

Get angry bro.

And let her go.

(DON"T TELL HER YOUR PLANS ABOUT GETTING CUSTODY)

SECRET! DON"T BELIEVE HER PARENTS, they will always take her side.

Answer 8

  Sadly, life is moving on and your not on the train..   It's time to put your life back together and begin to catch up with that train.  If not for yourself then your children deserve to have a dad that is 100% there for them.    You can't make this work by searching for little clues or possible, maybe's.   She's gone, you need to realize that and get moving...

Answer 9

I am sorry to hear that but my honest opinion is that she is exploring because she is young and hasn't got the chance to, some young women don't understand a good thing when they have it. I will not be like most people and say drop her like a bad habit, she will eventually come to her senses and realize she loves you more then her freedom and will wont to be a family again but you shouldn't wait around for her to do that you should explore and have fun also but don't get into any serious relationships. when the time is right y'all will find each other again and its ok to have a rebound just not with a virgin. Virgin girls wont serious relationships and you shouldnt do that. When you do get back together yall have both done things that would cause mistrust so you should just start over a new. I hope it helps.

Answer 10

If she's 23 now then she was with you since she was 16 yrs. old. It's a very young age to get into a serious relationship. She really didn't enjoy her teenage years because it was stripped away from her at a young age. the same thing happens when a teenage girl has a baby and starts rebelling wanting to party and hang out because she couldn't do that when she was younger because of her responsibility to her child. I suggest to just give her time to live the way she wants to. In the meantime, focus on yourself to heal and don't try to jump into another serious relationship so fast because you have to heal from this one. Regain your life, you still have life. Dedicate yourself right now to yourself and your children. She'll come along but I think she just need a break from your relationship. If she decides to stay with this other woman, just move on to another woman who is another mature and has has the same goals aligned with yours.

Answer 11

Let her go and find herself. Obviously there was something wrong in the relationship that made her stray. Just enjoy your kids and start going out and make her think it's not bothering you. Maybe if you start dating and she sees this maybe she will come back. You can't let her know it's killing you everyday. If she comes back there will be a trust issue but let her do her own thing. Maybe a counselor can help with the trust issue. I'm sorry to say this but you must move on no matter what happens. Good luck!

Answer 12

wow am sorry this happen to u.. i think she is not worth you waiting for her she out having fun and sleeping with other girls.. i guess she just never grew up and was not ready toget in a relationship or jsut got tired of it . she is not worth your time u sound like a good guy and she dosen't deserve that... is true give urself some time and don't get a rebound girl. also loose conenctions with her mom she is her mom at the end she will tell her everything and turn her back on u. blood is thicker than water . just keep intouch with your kids and be tha all you talk to her about.. sorry and good luck