Wikileaks: What Ponting said to Aleem Dar
Aw, mate. My man, my sweet little rainbow, you are the twinkle of our eyes. Now mate, do you see those orphan kids on the field? Poor Haddin fell from a bicycle when he was four; the scars have still remained on his tortured soul. You see our boy Mitch here?
One fine day he decided to get a TATTOO of all things. You know why? Because his girlfriend questioned his manhood. These kids are country boys, it gets hard for us to explain to them how it all works. This technology bull, mate. Poor Sid still thinks that
the can opener was designed by NASA, and young Pete he says E.T stayed back on earth to evolve into a dragon. http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Clarke-c51120 still eats from a wooden bowl.
You really expect me to explain to them that you have based your decision on some inconsequential thermal imaging reading? Mate, it would be easier for me to tell them that Santa just decided to barge into the third umpire’s booth to turn all the machines
into mice. Now mate, I know our Santa Claus isn’t any wizard. I know that, you know that. It just gets easier to explain certain things to these boys in a certain way.
Aleem, my mate, that is most certainly not the issue here. We really need this. Our boy tells us he hit that, mate. Now tell me, look into my eyes and tell me, has Brad ever lied to you? Has he ever lied to you in the short while you’ve known him? Look at
his face mate. He is still trying to recover from all those nasty caustic things Strauss said to him at Adelaide. Strauss mocked that little boy mate, made fun about his appearance, the way he looked. These Poms can get very cruel sometimes mate. Did you know
Brad’s pet goldfish died? His beloved pet goldfish? That is a fact Aleem, and this fine young man has been under a lot of stress – sometimes I really worry if he would be able to cope with all of this. Cut him some slack will you mate?
For Huss’s sake, Aleem. Look at me, Listen to me will you? Listen. I am not shouting at you mate, seriously I am not. No. No. I am not pointing my finger at you, that is, just the friendly Ponting way of making a point. No, not the finger pointing. A point,
like when you are trying to make an argument. I am just trying to clarify things with you mate, all I am asking is if... I am not shouting, just trying to keep things clear... I’m asking if you my friend are certain... that the hotspot you can see with your
eyes on the screen... That screen! That ginormohumungous screen!! Look... Up there!! Are you blind for Mitch’s sake? Haha. Just joking, sorry mate, was having some fun with two old friends here. I shouldn’t have said that.
But, seriously, Aleem. All this technology, it’s all a worthless pile of junk anyways. Everyone these days just knows that the on field umpire, he’s the main man, he’s the guy. He’s our guy. Now these guys, they are just trying to cut you off mate. Cut you
off at the knees. Which is why you know me. This Punter, this fine old Punter, has always stood by you in all the decisions you have made in your life. Never questioned them, accepted them without a murmur without hesitation. It is you and me Aleem against
all of them. Now these guys, they want to replace you with a machine. I can’t let that happen Aleem, we are homies. I am not prepared to let them do that to you. Don’t do it for us mate, do this for all the unborn future umpires. Make this decision, not for
us, but for cricket.
Tags: