Wikipedia's def. for closed adoption...?

Question

Do you agree?

What about the section with the heading "Criticism of closed adoption"?

Accurate?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed_adoption

Answer 1

When I was 14 I got pregnant I had the baby I chose to have open adoption and I would never change my mind I did change my mind about giving he up but the people I was dealing with gave me the wrong phone number in order to call in 72 house I called and she said to fu---- bad she is mine now. Long story short never give away 100% take what ever you can get. Watch your child grow up. It is nice. Yearly photos, and more doing it that way it better then having them no nothing and finding you when you are older and they are 18 not to menchion they will be messed with in the head saying she never loved me. We know that is not true you are not realy to have a baby that is fine what every you chose is your choise but I realy think you will make the choice you think is the best way.

Answer 2

Sounds pretty accurate to me.  :)

Answer 3

I agree with the definition.  I also agree with Laurie.

I agree with most of the "Criticism of closed adoption".   I cannot believe first mothers were blindfolded, handcuffed, or drugged! :(  How barbaric.  

Oh how i hope they are wrong with a-parents and abuse.  If that's the case there really needs to be stricter screening with paps.  Also more education for paps.  

As a person who has been in counseling since the age of 18yrs and probably will the rest of her life, its never the child's fault.  If one of my children and I are having problems, i plop down on my counselors couch saying so what am i doing wrong now?  She gives me books or suggestions to try and 99% of the time they work.  Proving that if parents are having problems with a child, its a parenting problem.

Let me repeat if parents are having problem with a child, its a parenting problem.

In regards to the nature/genetics things:  Your kids aren't genetically flawed, your way of thinking is.  Geez stop passing the blame around and be the responsible adult and get help--like counseling.  Its not just for us crazys you know.

Sorry nothing urks me more than abuse and the thought of aparents abusing is doubling disturbing and unsettling.

Answer 4

Well, keep in mind that wikipedia is not all done by proffesional people, random people who don't know half what they should about the subject in hand can just edit anything they see fit on wikipedia.

So you mught not always agree with what they have on there.

But find comfort in the fact these wiki. articles are not done proffesionally, but by some random person who lives in kentucky with 12 cats.

Answer 5

I looked through this wiki article and see a couple of things in the definition that aren't accurate.

It states:

"Closed Adoption (sometimes called "secret adoption") is the process by where an infant is adopted by another family, and the record of the natural (birth) parent(s) is kept sealed. (Often, the natural father was not recorded -- even on the original birth certificate.)"

This insinuates that the birth record is not sealed unless an adoption is a closed adoption.  This isn't true.  Records seal in open adoptions, closed adoptions, step-parent adoptions and even adult adoptions.  It doesn't matter what kind of adoption it is.

It also states:

"An adoption of an older child who already knows his or her natural parent(s) cannot be made closed or secret. "

This is not so.  An open adoption allows some kind of contact between the first and adoptive families, no matter what the age of the child.  If an adoption doesn't allow this contact, it isn't open.  Just because the child knows his/her natural parents doesn't mean an adoption isn't closed.

Although a lot of what's in the section about criticisms is true, it also states, "Closed adoption has been increasingly criticized in recent years as being unfair to both the adoptee and his or her natural parents."  I don't know that it's been criticized enough, as there are certainly those organizations that are all for secrecy, such as the NCFA, LDS agencies and Catholic Charities.

It also states, "When a natural mother loses her child to closed adoption, she may feel as if her child has died, but there is no funeral or other sort of public acknowledgment. This leads to no closure for the mothers, while the fathers' lives may continue on uninterrupted."  

More and more we are finding that the father's lives didn't go on so very uninterrupted.  My father grieved for 35 years.  I've met a number of fathers who only found out years later that they were, in fact, fathers and they then wanted to know their children.  They should not be left out of the picture.

One last thing, although open adoption is much healthier, the issues that occur in closed adoption are likely to occur in open adoption as well.  These include loss on the part of the first parents and adoptees and the possibility of unrealistic expectations on the part of adoptive parents, for example.

Answer 6

how is wiki for closed adoption if they put up this huge article criticizing it?

Answer 7

Great link Sunny. Thanks!  And thanks Laurie, for a comprehensive answer.  I only have one thing to add.

RE: "An adoption of an older child who already knows his or her natural parent(s) cannot be made closed or secret. "

I'm not sure what they define as "an older child". My adoption occurred when I was 3 years old.  I had lived with my mom until the age of 15 months, and she continued to visit me in foster care.  My adoption records & original birth certificate are sealed, and an amended birth certificate was issued.  

And while I know my birth name, my mothers name at the time I was born, her maiden name, etc., I still can not get a copy of my original birth certificate.

Ironically, the court records about my foster care are public record and I have copies of those.

Answer 8

Well, you always have to take wikipedia with a grain of salt.  After all, it's not professionally done.  However, I think it give a fair and accurate portrayal of how most people view closed adoptions, the reasons for them, and the criticisms of them.  It was innaccurate on some points, but that's Wikipedia for you.  It's not a good sorce for concrete information, but it's a good sorce for overview information and to get links to firmer ground.  That's exactly what was given here on the closed adoption page.

Answer 9

I think it's pretty accurate. The only thing I see as maybe a concern is that the criticism seems to be talking about adoption in general, and not just closed adoption. Am I correct in that?

I have this hope that my child will benefit from an open adoption and won't experience all the same problems with people who had closed adoptions. That is my hope.

Answer 10

"An adoption of an older child who already knows his or her natural parent(s) cannot be made closed or secret."

Not true - the records are sealed in most states even with step-parent adoptions.

"This formerly was the most traditional and popular type of adoption."  I disagree with "traditional" as sealed records don't go back before the 1930s - and in some states not before the 1970s.  I think it takes a good deal longer to be called a "tradition".

"to assist individuals with their sealed records" - it sounds like assisting people with unsealing the records, not assisting people in getting around the fact that the records are sealed.

As for the criticism - it really takes a lot more words to explain sealed records, the different state laws, how they have evolved, how it affects the adoptee, first parents and adoptive parents...