Will I be brutilly judged for adopting at 19 or 20? Do you think I have much of a chance?

Question

I have always been great with kids. Especially babies and I have always wanted more then anything to have one. I think I need to be needed and I would make a great mom except I currrently go to college and I am living with my mother untile I am finished. I don't know how this would look with an agency and I don't know how judged me and my child might be. I would appreciate it if you would give me your opinions and no harsh words please. I am self consious about this subject as it is.

Answer 1

I think its great you want to be a mother and the fact that you are willing to adopt well thats on another level . But lets think about this , your finishing school (great goal) but do that , get yourself a great job. Children cost a lot of money .

Im really not trying to be funny on this one but get a puppy . You can see how ready you are. They are no where near as hard as raising a child be still a ton of work. If your hands are full with thatt you can imagin of how much harder a child would be. You also did not mention that you had a partner which again is fine if you do not , its just that much harder because you ,yourself, will have to make around 80K a year to look like someone who can provide for a child. So Im sorry to say it wouldnt look to good if you went now to get a child wait a few years . Its for the best

Hope that was not too harsh. Take care good luck

Answer 2

Your heart is in the right place, but no reputable agency would approve you. They are looking for the best interest of the child, and to them the best interest would be a stable home with two parents and sufficient income to raise the child. A single woman living at home with her mom is not going to work. Give it time. After college, get married, settle down, buy your first home, then apply.

Answer 3

So why don't you have one of your own then?

Why drag a defenseless child into a situation where you have no  clue what you are doing, can't support them, can't afford to feed or clothe them, what, are you going to rely on Mommy to help raise this little object of desire for you?

Like I said, have one of your own, but don't separate a child from his/her family just to be dumped on Grandma's lap or anyone else who is available.  Adoptees go through enough separation the way it is.

Answer 4

im sorry but i dont think you need a child right now. you wont have enough time to spend with your child, plus it doesnt seem like you have the finances for yourself, much less a child. wait at least 3 years after you graduate college, then try to adopt.

Answer 5

Don't  worry, same here I have been wanting to adopt since I was 15. Now I am through with college and it was well worth it, believe me, after college i got a job, saved some more money, got my own place and Now have a wonderful baby boy. I can be a stay at home mom (temporarily) and have all the time in the world to spend with my baby. For now, just worry about saving some money so when the time comes you can be financially stable and able to adopt.

Answer 6

Domestic adoption agencies usually require adoptive parents to be at least 21 (and some 25) years old before you start the process. International adoption age requirements range from between 25-35 yrs old.

You also need to prove that that you earn enough money to support yourself and the child on your own, many agencies have min. income requirements between $30,000- 50,000 per yr. Also, if you adopt an infant through an agency, the fees will range between $15,000- 40,000+. I'm assuming since you live w/ your mom and are still in school, you would not have this type of money.

Also, realize that many birthmothers were in a situation similar to yours when they decided to place their baby for adoption; young and unmarried, still living at home and unable to support themselves on their own, and trying to get through school, knowing that with full-time work and school the child would spend most of time with a babysitter.

Since the expectant mother is the one who chooses the parents, they are not going to give up their child only to put the baby in the exact same kind of situation, especially when there are MANY financially stable couples who also hope to adopt a baby, and can provide what you are unable to at this time.

Honestly, if you love kids and feel you 'need to be needed', why no try being a nanny part-time while you're in school. That way you can get more experience caring for children, and earn money while in school, so you'll be able to get out on your own sooner. Then, 5-10 years down the line, if you still want to adopt, you'll probably be ready.

Answer 7

honestly i dont think an agency will let you. its a long and expensive process. it sounds like you have the right idea but you jsut arent in a place yet.

you dont have any income and you live with your mom. some day you will make a fabulous mom. but perhaps you should get a dog for now and finish school. once you are out of school and have a good job then you can move forward with the plan of adopting.

i think its a great thing you are planning. but you know it can cost up to 20,000 and take up to 2 years or longer....

Answer 8

And how would you support this child, assuming the adoption agency actually approved you?  If you are in college and live with your mother, what do you think the chances are of you being accepted?  You must be able to prove a home and steady income.  Save adoption for when you are out of college, married and have a good job.  Enjoy your college years!!

Answer 9

Most states/countries require you to be 21....some countries even older. You need to get your life straight before trying to adopt. Anyone can apply to adopt....they won't turn you away unless you are too young for their program. However, they can and will wait or delay the adoption until they find you suitable for a child. You must prove yourself both fit to parent and financially, emotionally, physically, and mentally stable enough to parent. You are not currently at that place.

Answer 10

Personally I think it would look pretty damning. How can you say you would make a great mum when you don't even have experience of running your own household and paying your own bills? You need experience of being a single adult looking after yourself before you can possibly think you are ready to do all that and look after a child too.

Answer 11

Adoption must always be for the best interests of the child.  It should NEVER be about meeting your desire for a child, or your desire to be needed, or your desire to hold a baby in your arms, or the fact that you're "good with kids".  Those things may lead you to want KIDS, but what leads you to adopt must be vastly different, and a separate process, from the reasons you've listed.

Don't adopt.  Do your research and maybe come back to it in 5-10 years, if you must.

Answer 12

Yep. Especially by those Pap's that are doing everything in their power to get their greedy hands on a baby themselves. They're in your position emotionally but throw infertility into the picture.

Answer 13

You've already had a lot of answers saying you probably wouldn't be approved by an agency. In the interim have you considered doing some charity or other volunteer work with children? If you love kids, have you considered pursuing this as a career? Whether working as a nursery assistant, working in social care, pediatric nurse or working with children with special needs, you can guarantee that this is a line of work in which you will certainly be needed and much appreciated if you are kind and caring. Good luck!

Answer 14

I doubt an agency will even bother with you until your 21 but before you consider adoption shouldn't you finish college, get a career going and a place of your own so you can house & support the child?