Will I ever stop missing my mother? Will the hurt ever get easier? ?

Question

I lost my mother to cancer 4 years ago. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and I miss her so much! I wish so badly I could just talk to her and tell her what is going on in my life. It just does not seem real that she is gone.......

Answer 1

you never will get completely over it , I lost my mom and there are some days the hurt is not as bad , but there is never a day that goes by that i do not think of her. There are things going on in my life now that I wished she could be here for that I know she would have loved. Some say that with time the hurt dulls a little which in a way is true but you can never get over losing your mom. And if you want to talk to her then do it, no body really knows what the after life is like and if it puts you at ease then do it , it does for me. Good luck.

Answer 2

i don't think the pain or the hurt will ever go away?i don't know what id do if i lost my mother?shes my angel, and my best friend.but i do know, that if she died, shed go to heaven, and she'd be still watching over me!! i know she'd also be very angry if i let her death destroy my life!1she would want me to go on and make her proud!i think as time goes on, it may get easier?you need to have faith in yourself and god, be around people who make you happy, and do something in memory of your mom?like plant a tree in your yard, a tree or bush that would remind you of your mom, put a bench and plant flowers each year around her on a special day?make this a place to talk to her or cry when you need to, some place close where you can go and no one will hurt her or disturb you.we did it for my grandmother, we all talk to her, just about everyday,it makes you feel safe and loved. try it really it works, good luck and god bless

Answer 3

people have lost people they love all around the world. through illness, murder, crime, war, collateral damage. even as we speak now somebody will be losing and missing their loved ones. time will heal everything. good thing is to look to the future and cherish her memory.

Answer 4

I'm very sorry to hear that. People say that the more you love someone the more it hurts to let go. Your wish can come true. Your moms in your heart, just talk and I'm sure she will hear you. Shes watching over you, and taking care of you still. It will take some time but the loss will get eaisier throw out time.

Answer 5

That's horrible, I am so sorry that happened to you.

It will get easier but it will take a good amount of time.  You will never forget her, nor should you.   You missing her is a testament of how wonderful a person she was.

Answer 6

Losing our mothers is one of lifes toughest challenges, but she would want you to go on until you meet again.  Still talk to her as if she could hear you as I bet at times she can.  Know that she is really happy where she is now and that you will have all eternity to be together again.  Ask her to visit you in a dream.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry this happened to you! I myself have lost family members before, the last two were last September. Don't worry, because I know from experience that, while the hurt never completely goes away, it will become easier to live with. A way that I grieved, and you may do this too, is by writing your feelings about your mother in a journal. You could perhaps write about happy memories you shared with her, too.

Best of Luck!

Answer 8

Not to take away from your question

four years ago i lost my son  

Was his 22nd birthday   a freind of his had a gun  and going to commit suicied    Mike  talked him out of the idea

has the gun was being  handed over to mike   it went off accidently

a small calbar 22   hit him in the temple   Killed him immediatily

(thank heavens)  did not suffer

your mom and you  was very good freinds

as was my son and i

so we lost both  a parent   a son  and two  best freinds

And of course you will never stop missing your mother  

its been four years for both of us

i think the hurt is still there  like it was in the beginning

only difference   we have moved away from the shock  

and the sudden lose

I still cry almost every day

Of course i cry for my lose

because   he no longer  has to endure  any pain or suffering that this world produces

Hey  it  its kewl  to have  personal  angels  to help us out huh

if your like me  

its like  so  mike  could ya  put in a good word  to the big guy lol

The sprit of our loved ones lives and grows

We are both sharing  our love for our loved ones

and they are  here with me   and there with you  

smiling   saying  those two   goofy  people

We love you mom and mike

sorry thats the best i can do with your question

because  i have no answer

See ya

Answer 9

I'm sorry you've lost someone you love so much.  You will always miss her because you loved her so much, but the pain will become less.

Answer 10

I sympathise greatly. My father died of cancer nearly two years ago. All I can say is that no two people grieve in the same way or for the same length of time but it WILL get easier, and it gets easier by degrees. It's a gradual thing, don't fight it, or feel bad about feeling bad. Human beings have an amazing capacity to adapt and overcome, but you have to let emotions run their natural course. You will be okay.

Answer 11

Sorry to hear...It hurts to lose someone close to you, especially someone as close as your mother. You can still talk to her. A lot of people still speak to loved ones they've lost. Depending on your religious beliefs, she may very well be hearing you. God bless.  

Answer 12

I dread the day my mom dies because I can't imagine what life will be without her.  I am so sorry you lost your mom.  

My nephew died a few years ago and my sister still misses him.  The feeling changes from one extreme to another.  I'm sure you know that since your mom died, life without her has gotten somewhat easier.  I hope so anyway.  But you wanting to share the good things that happen in your life with her will probably never go away.  The hurting because you can't will go away though.

Answer 13

This reading/ whatever it is helps me feel better about who I am missing

imagine your mother saying it to you

When I die, give wheat is left of my to the children

If you need to cry, cry for your brothers walking beside you

put your arms around anyone and give them what you need to give me.

I want to leave you with something

something better than words or sounds

look for me in the people I hae known and loved

and if you cannor live without me, let me live on in your eyes, mind and your acts of kindness

you can love me most by letting hands touch hands and letting go of children who need to be free.

Love does not die, people do

So when all that is left of me is love,

give me away

It is beautiful especially the last 3 lines

sorry it took me so long to write most of it was from memory but then I had to go  find the original thing

Answer 14

I know what you mean. We lost our mom due to a series of strokes that slowly took her from us over a period of several years until she could barely move or speak. I still remember her as a vibrant, strong woman who loves us dearly. If I'm very quiet and open my heart I can still feel her around, watching over us like a guardian angel. It's rather comforting, to be honest.

You will indeed get over losing her as you mature and other things in your life move to the forefront; marriage, children, and so on will focus you on the present and the pain will slowly fade to a collection of happy and bittersweet memories. Life moves on, it will not be stopped. Death is an inevitable part of the process, though it seems to always come too early for the ones we love the most.

You can still talk to her, and she will hear you. Trust me, she does watch over you. Just talk to her as if she is standing next to you; tell her what's going on in your life (as if she doesn't know, *grin*), tell her you love her and miss her.

Keep your heart open.

Answer 15

My mom lost her mom when she was 26 and I was born.  24 years later, the pain still hurts, but she tells me about the pain and suffering when my grandma died and it was unbearable. She still wants to talk to her mom, receive her comfort and advice, spend time with her, etc. especially in hard times, and she cries.  The pain itself will never go and you will always want to have your mom nearby, but it's coping that gets easier.  Best of luck to you and your family.

Answer 16

You never stop missing a lost loved one, but with time it does get easier...One thing that helped me was something my dad told me. That death is a part of life, just like birth. Also, you must remember that your mom is at peace now, and without pain.  

Answer 17

You will alway miss her but it will hurt less over the years.  I do something that helps when I miss my Dad.  I just write him a note and then throw it in a fire (Do not start one if you are young!!!!  Ask your guardian to do it for you)   the smoke goes up to heaven and carries the note with them.  No one else will ever see it so you can tell your Mom whatever you want!

Good Luck to you!

Here are some support groups that may help as well.

http://www.google.com/search?client=safa...

Answer 18

that so sad for it a real big thing to deal with,my Auntie died of the same her kids were still quite young,they just kept remembering the good times and tell there kids now what she was like.but as a mum i think it be good if you allow the grief go now and live your own life for that whay she want,really wish u well

Answer 19

WOW IM SORRY. I LOST MY MOM AND BROTHER TO CANCER 4 YRS AGO SIX MONTHS APART. AND TO THIS DAY I CRY EVERY DAY FOR MY MOM, GOD I NO HOW YOU FEEL. MY MOM DIED IN MY ARMS IN THE HOSPITAL 4 YRS AGO. AND GOD I THINK APART OF ME WENT THAT DAY. BUT IT HURTS SO BAD STILL. I HOPE I CAN HELP YOU. GOD BLESS YOU. BETTY.

Answer 20

people will tell you it gets easier over time. I however find time has little to do with it. There are things you can do to still feel connected to her even though she is gone. Make a scrapbook of her so when you feel lonely you can look to her for strength. When you have a question that you need her for. write on a piece of paper and tie it to a balloon. Watch it float to the heavens. When it reaches her she will help you make the right decision. Losing someone is never easy but they rae never really gone. She is with you even when you can't see her. Look inside your heart to lessons she has taught you in life and she will guide you along your path.  

Answer 21

Hi... I lost my mom more than 5 years ago when I was only 14. She just died suddenly in her sleep if a pain killer overdose that caused an asthma attack. She suffocated because she didn't have enough strength to wake up and use her inhaler. The day that I found out I was devastated. I wasn't very close to her, and I didn't live with her but it didnt hurt any less. The last time i saw her I was very mean to her and 12 days later she was gone. I didn't think that I would ever get over it or that I would ever smile again. For the longest time it was very hard to laugh at a joke or to watch her old favorite shows. Every year when it would be the anniversary of her death, her birthday, mine or my brothers birthday, a holday, ANYTHING, I would miss her more then ever. They say that time is supposed to heal all wounds but for me sometimes I don't think so. Instead of it getting easier every year that passes I miss her more and more. Yes it's easier to accept that she's gone but I will never stop missing her, and I will never forget her or stop loving her. I never got the chance to tell her that I loved her or to say goodbye. When I have a problem I wish I could talk to her about it.... There are so many things I wish I could do with her.

I definately understand what you are going through.

As my family told me... My mom wouldn't want me to live my life sad all the time. As my mom she would have wanted me to be happy and that she is watching over me making sure I am safe and that I am doing okay.

I am sure your mom would want the same for you. She would want you to be happy. And she is watching you right now.

The thing that helped me to cope with my moms death is to realize that she is no longer suffering. Neither is your mom. Since she had cancer I'm guessing she was in pain and suffering before her death. She no longer is. Now she is watching over you and she wants you to be happy.

Another thing that helped me a lot was to talk to my mom. I believe that she can hear me. I would also write her letters. Maybe she couldn't respond physically but I know that she heard me. Because I would always feel better after. It ALWAYS helped me.

You don't ever have to forget her. And you probably will NEVER stop missing her or stop loving her but as the years go by it WILL get easier. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it but it will.

I wish you the best of luck and feel free to email me anytime. :)

Answer 22

You will always miss her, the pain will diminish over time.

Answer 23

yes you will always miss her.but just try to remember that she is in a better place and she is also watching over you.what you can do if you really want to talk to her is just pray and say the things u want her to hear.you wont get a reply but she and god will lead you in the way you should go.