Will I look back on this and hate myself for wasting my time?

Question

You know how when something traumatic first happens and it seems like the end of world then in the future and in retrospect you are glad it happened, or at least understand/accept it more and it now makes sense, whether it be a death, break up etc. Well my bf of 7 years cheated on me, and on top of it all chose to be with the other woman- for those of you that have been through the same thing and are now back in a good happy place and in love again if you knew then during that hard time what you know now, how would that have changed your healing process, what is it, and what advice do you have if any (other than time) to help me speed up recovering from the multiple emotions I am feeling now? If you had to go through it again what would you do different?

Answer 1

It doesn't matter..it's what you do from now on that counts. Let it go, the more you tell the story f what happened, it keeps you in the past. Start creating who you wqant to be, what you want for yourself and who you can make happy with your words and thoughts every day!

Answer 2

I agree with Jude.  You should ask God for help, and if you are not a believer in his ways, then you should look to a higher power for resolvement of your issues.

Answer 3

Stay busy doing YOU...hair, clothes, giving of yourself to others that need you( elderly, your or friends kids, etc.) make-up and nails are your new projects. Just stay too busy to miss what you don't have and get angry and selfish with him and generous and patient with yourself. Cry when needed and pick yourself up and get moving. Exercise your body and mind. Good luck.

Answer 4

I've been through that.  If I had to do it differently . . . I would have focused more on ME & less on HIM.  I'm embarrassed now that I spent so much time & energy on such a BS guy.  I used to think my entire World was over because of him & now I wouldn't even notice him in a crowd.

What you need to do is focus on what YOU want out of your life.  Make yourself the priority right now.

Answer 5

its a grief process and completely necessary to go through in order to be able to move on to a better place.most of us do finally see and end and do find happiness again, but the grieving process has to be a part of it.without it u don't move on.the only advice i have is not to self blame or try to understand it,and allow the emotions, after all this is a man u loved.to heal seek god first and not others.