Will I regret this later?

Question

I don't like weddings. Well... that's not quite true. I love the idea of my perfect wedding - the perfect dress, flowers, food, decorations, etc. But, I don't like actually going to weddings. I don't like parties and if I had my choice I'd rather be at home with a good book or at a coffee shop with friends as opposed to at a wedding.

But... I'm getting married and can't decide if I want to have a real wedding (because like I said, I do dream about my perfect day) or if I want to just run off and elope somewhere. I *hate* being the center of attention. (I haven't even done anything big for my birthday since I was 12 because of it.) My fiance doesn't care what we do and said he's happy either way, as long as in the end I'm his wife. (Hehe, okay, so maybe I'm a bit of a romantic!)

Anyone who eloped, did you regret it? Or, if you had a regular wedding despite considering eloping, do you regret that? I really just don't know what to do. I really always love the idea of going to someone's wedding, but then don't want to be there once it's happening.

If we do have a "real" wedding, it'll be pretty small (less than 50 people) but half the guests would be flying from across the country as my fiance is from back east. I hate for them to fly all the way here and then have just a short dinner reception with no dancing or anything afterwards...

Any experiences or advice would be really appreciated! Thank you!

Answer 1

You only get married once (usually) and you should have what you want. As a female, you know you have started planning your wedding when you were little. Why short yourself on that?

You can have a small wedding and have a good time. And your wedding day is one day you won't care about being center of attention. its not a day for everyone else, its a day for you and your fiancee to commit yourselves to one another. Enjoy it and have the wedding you've always wanted. You'll regret it later if you don't.

My hubby and I considered both, and I decided to do a real wedding at my parent's house. I knew that I had always wanted a nice wedding and eloping just wouldnt satisfy me. But we still did it cheap. Set up a nice ceremony outside with an arbor and flowers. Had the reception at a local park facility. We were on a budget but the place turned out gorgous. And for the reception trust me, the DJ can make it or break it. Whether you have a DJ or just a nice stereo system set up. Play music everyone knows and will enjoy (the classics and oldies do the trick) and get on the dance floor and have a good time. All your guest will join in with you guys. Trust me, you don't have to have a big wedding or lots of money to have a memorable one. We have roughly 70 guest and a budget. But a year later people are still telling us how awesome the wedding was and how they had such a good time

Answer 2

It is a decision that only you and your fiance can make.  Remember that if you do have a "real" wedding, you will have to make many decisions on everything from napkins to the attire of the groom.  If you honestly don't like being the center of attention, you might want to elope, unless your future husband wants to plan the wedding for you.

Answer 3

I'm getting married two weeks this Saturday and I sound a lot like you.

I HATE being the centre of attention (my bridal shower was pure torture) and I would much rather be home with a good book.

That being said, after considering eloping, we decided to have a regular wedding. There will be about 100 people. I have cut out things that will make me uncomfortable. There are no father daughter dances, no mother son dances... and none of those silly dances like the locomotion that the bride and groom should participate in.

I am a little nervous but I am more excited. While I will be the bride I know I won't be the only focus that day.

I don't think I will regret my decision

Good Luck!

Answer 4

why not try a combo of both ideas?  Head to the islands for a beach wedding, bring moms and dads and the close friends and have a great week on the beach.

Answer 5

I wanted Las Vegas so bad. I’m impatient, and the thought of spending a year or my life planning one day was really unappealing. My husband wouldn’t have it, citing that our family would whine about it.

We found a nontraditional, yet affordable venue and made our wedding special. We kept it small. I, too, hate lots of attention, but it wasn’t really all that bad. We threw an awesome party and I don’t regret it in the least. Vegas was part of our honeymoon though, and I was just a little jealous of the wedding couples I saw running around.

If you have a choice though, ELOPE. Wedding planning involves way too much BS for something that lasts 4-6 hours.  

Answer 6

If you're only going to have a wedding because you want your "perfect wedding - the perfect dress, flowers, food, decorations, etc." to become reality, then forget it. Having everything be perfect will be next to impossible, and once you have to do all the compromising that comes with weddings, absolutely nothing will even be close to perfect. If you have any doubts at all, just elope. I wish I had.

Answer 7

Everyone's "perfect wedding" consists of something different.  Mine included ideas about a big white dress and beautiful flowers, but did not include a ton of people, a church and many other "typical" things.  I wanted 10 people on an island in the Caribbean.  I was talked into the big to-do by my family and fiance.  Well, we had it last week and, though I don't regret it at all, I still would have preferred the small one that I had envisioned.  If you don't want the trouble and attention, don't do it.  Do what you want, make yourself happy.

Answer 8

Being in a wedding is the best thing a person could ask for. Is the best day of your life because you are start a life with the person you love and you get to share it with your family and friends. I think you should go on with the wedding.I know you hate being the center of attention but it is all worth it afterwords because you will be with the one you love and your family will be able to be part of that memerable accasion. Besides this will be a great time for you to plan and get your perfect wedding. You can plan it so it will be the perfect wedding you dreamed of. So plan a wedding it will be wirth it in the end.

Answer 9

I hate being the center of attention and decided on a small-ish wedding, we ended up having about 80 people.  It was fantastic!  I expected to be nervous or anxious about being the center of attention, but it was the happiest day of my life.  Not because the details were perfect (several small things weren't exactly how I wanted them), but because I got to marry my husband and have all my closest friends there to celebrate with me.  We did a simple reception and no one seemed to mind.  For the family that is flying across the country, just invite them to the rehearsal dinner or arrange social things for them the day or two leading up to the wedding.  Some of our out-of-town guests made a vacation of it and spent time in the area before and after our wedding.

I think a small, intimate wedding is lovely but its about your preferences.  I couldn't picture getting married without my family and closest friends, but that's just me.

Answer 10

why dont just the two of you fly to the east, have your civil wedding and your honeymoon there?lol!  it's another new experience altogether, dont you think?

Answer 11

My wife and I Just got Maried at the Cort house Ticked off her Mother.  She always wanted to put on a big show as you have said and my wife does not want one.  So in order to shut up her mother  we have tried to do a small wedding from time to time it has never worked because her mother always wants to make it a huge production.  Which is not what either of us want or afford all I can do is give you my experience and say to follow your heart it won't lead you astray.  

Answer 12

We did, My mom wanted to KILL me and I still run into old friends that get upset saying, "YOUR MARRIED! I wasn't invited."  Well and that was 5 years ago.  I say I didn't want to spend my hard earned money providing a beautiful night for all of my friends, family, etc...when I could invest it into our future.  That is just me though.  I thought it over long and hard and that is what I came up with.  My best friends all had small weddings and that is good, but people often get forgotten and it is hard to keep the list down.