Will My Marriage Stay Secret?

Question

My Fiance and I have decided to get married next friday in a courthouse (we've been engaged for 3 months). The reason we are rushing this is because his parents are both very religious and don't approve of us living together unless married. I moved to Oklahoma after he proposed to me and we decided we would get married the way we are planning, in a courthouse, to keep his parents happy, and in September when we go back up to Michigan to visit my family, we would tell them we are engaged, and plan on having a ceremony in a church in June, when we have more time to plan, and more cash money to plan with.

Now heres what I am worried about, I am 18, and will be under my parents insurance until I turn 19 (in feb) If I get married, change my name, and therefore change my SSN, will my parents find out?

The reason I just don't change my name is because his sister did the same thing, and didn't take her husbands last name, now she is having to "get a lawyer, and pay lots of money to have it changed" or so she says..

I don't want to hear your opinion on my marrige, me lying to my parents, and getting married at a young age, I've heard it all, and I tried to explain it the best I can, I just want your knowledge on wether or not this will work out.

Thank you so much!

Answer 1

i don't know that the social security office would even give you a new number just because you got married.  i actually don't think that they would.

but if you're getting married, most likely you won't be able to stay on your parents insurance anyway, since i believe you would not be eligible to claim status as a "dependent" anymore.

so yea, your parents will find out.  they would anyway.  i mean, what do you think they'd say when your in-laws want to take you out for an anniversary dinner in the wrong month?

either get married, or don't get married.  either way, it sound like you'll be pissing off one set of parents anyway.  the real question is who do you care about more: your parents or your in-laws?

Answer 2

Well, once you move out of your parents' house, you aren't eligible to be covered under their policy any more.  Plus, since you're in another state, you most likely will have "emergency coverage only" in the other state.  

Insurance is regulated on a state by state basis.   I don't think this will work.  In addition to the out of state issue, the whole name change is a dead giveaway.  Your id and your insurance card won't match up.

You do not, however, change your SSN.  

Although you don't want to hear it, I'll say anyway . . .you can't "fake" a second marriage, legally.  At the least, the minister would have to be in on it, as you wouldn't have a valid marriage license for the ceremony.  

But you CAN have the courthouse marriage "blessed" in your church, with all the fancy bits with it.

**Hmm.  Maybe your parents were sad at the idea of you shacking up.  And I'd think that your husband would be a bit . . .not thrilled  . . .with you taking off your wedding ring and denying the marriage.**

Answer 3

First, your Social Security Number will not change.  You just have to fill out a form with the Social Security Administration and send a certified copies of certain ID to them...check the web site below for more instructions and the required form:

http://ssa-custhelp.ssa.gov/cgi-bin/ssa....

Now, the big thing is...if you get married and don't tell your parents and you are not supposed to be on the health insurance, if you use it, you are committing fraud.  If your husband has health insurance and puts you on it and you use that, you should be okay since you won't be using something you may not be entitled to.

Have a good, happy, long and loving marriage :)

Answer 4

You aren't entitled to be on your parent's insurance as soon as you are no longer their financial dependant... So, it seems like you should already be terminated from their plan. If they don't file you as a dependant on their taxes, you could get in trouble (married or not). BUT, as soon as you're married, the company their insurance is through with absolutely find out. & YOU will have to pay any claims & premiums back.  

Answer 5

ok while keeping my opinions to myself, When you are married you will no longer be entitled to your parents insurance. And when your name changes the company will be notified and they will probably contact your parents. If they don't your parents could be got for fraud from keeping you on their policy after marriage. It will cost money to change your name later if you don't change it now. Regardless of your name I don't think you can keep the insurance after marriage.

ok....now for my opinion...please stop reading if you don't want to hear it. As a mother, regardless of the situation. I would want to know about my daughters REAL wedding. I would be DEVESTATED to find out she got married without me. I can assure you that if your parents find out about this they will be crushed. I would feel like you are putting your inlaws above your own parents. Are they more important? If you start your new married life by living according to your inlaws or your own parents standards you are going to have a long hard road ahead of you.

I Think you should do what YOU and Your Fiance' want. If you want to get married now in the court house Fine....but don't hide it, invite your parents and if they can't accept if ok then, but if YOU want the big church wedding in June. DO that. It is YOUR choice and if you are adult enough to get married then you should be adult enough to stand up to both sets of parents and make your choices as hard as they may be.

Ok. Off my soapbox. I really feel for you and the situation. I do wish you the best of luck and hope the you can find peace in what ever you decide.

Bethany

Answer 6

They will find out.  Their insurance will be notified that your name changed on SS card.  Why not tell them, and instead of getting married at the court house, get married at the church.  Our minister does it all the time.  Then have a "ceremony" later.  

One couple needed it so quick that all they did was sign the license.  That's all the state cares about.  The don't care about the vows.

This is really popular for those in the service.

And the note about your parents.  They will always think they are losing you, no matter how old you are.

Best wishes to you  

Answer 7

I'll make it simple and won't preach.  If you do not disclose a legal marriage to an insurer, you are committing insurance fraud.  Do you want to know what the penalties are if you are found out ?  For starters, if you collect a large amount of money from your parents health insurer and are later found out, guess who they will come after for that money ?  Yup, that would be YOU and your new hubby.

A hint for you dear.  Once you get married, you are no longer on your parents health insurance.  Your marriage terminates that.

Answer 8

Congratulations on getting married.  There are few things worth working for.  It sounds like you found one.

As far as the insurance situation goes, I think the word you're searching for is "insurance fraud" (please laugh with me).  Even if your dad (the subscriber) didn't find out (it sounds like he will [I'm not a health guy]), you are still knowingly obtaining benefits under false pretenses.

Talk to a health insurance broker in OK to help you fix the problem.  Good luck.

Answer 9

Let me get this straight...

Your fiances parents are so religious that they disapprove of you living together, but they are perfectly fine with the idea of you lying to your parents about your marriage and not even giving them the opportunity to attend their daughter's wedding?

What a bunch of lying, cheating hypocrites.  Sounds like you all deserve each other.  Best of luck in the web of lies and deceit you're all weaving together!