Will YOU take TEN seconds to read and critique?

Question

ever felt like this?

How can we be able to float among the living?

Jumping off the starlight, I've somersaulted into every last trace of your hand.

Thank the hands that locked our lips last night-

The keys forgotten. The bolts latched tight.

A billion breathless moments waiting on the line.

---aAron cochrAn

Answer 1

That's so poetic.  I love how I feel when I write my poems.  I love it!

Answer 2

That's really good, I like it.

It's hard to make sense of, but I like your style of writing; really descriptive.

Critique mine??

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 3

no but i hope i do!

Answer 4

It sounds pretty, but from a poetic standpoint it bounces around too much.  It seems like you took feelings and put them down, but I think you need to pull it together with some more lines. I realize anything is poetry, and your feeling written down are just that, but if you want a critique then write some more and try to pull the different elements together.  And keep writing!

Answer 5

I like this. It sounds nice, but I dont really understand it that much. It's good though, because it keeps it mystrerious and I like the nice musical, enchanting tone about it.

Answer 6

I don't think ive felt like that but i think it sounds really good to feel like that.

I'm really glad i clicked on this question, i think your poem is amazing, i think you've got a real talent there.

Wow!