Will a marriage work <span title="if........................................?">if..........................</span>

Question

I love my boyfriend dearly, and I want to get married to him. We get along great, but there are a few issues. Sometimes it seems like we're not on the same page, heck, not even the same book! I was just wondering if these are issues that can be dealt with, or is our relationship doomed? I know that everybody has flaws, and I'm sure there's things that I do that drive him crazy also, but in the long run, I want it to work. I want to be with him. But are our differences too great?

The issues are:

-Money- I am frugal, and he's a big spender

-Work Ethic- I've had the same job for 12 years, he's never worked at a job for longer than a year and a half

-Dealings with Mom- My mom and I talk every day, but she doesn't interfere in our relationship. He lets his mom tell him what to do (because she helps him out with money), and is always nervous about making her angry

There are a few other minor things, but those are the ones I'm most concerned about.

Answer 1

You seem to have your life together and he has all the signs of being very immature. I think you should be very cautious about marrying this guy. Your money will be his and he will spend it. He won&#039;t be able to bring money into the marriage if he is in and out of jobs. He might be forced to place his mother above you if she is enabling his bad behavior. The 3 things you listed should send up a big red warning signal. You could do so much better. There are guys who would appreciate the 3 qualities you mention and they would be more like you. Money and s*x are the 2 biggest stumbling blocks in a relationship.

Answer 2

If the pros out weigh the cons and he truly makes you happy, I think you guys can work it out.  Maybe wait 6 months to a year and before a wedding. No relationship is perfect...

Answer 3

Sorry darlin, I don&#039;t see it working. It sounds like me 25 years ago. And the biggest issue isn&#039;t even the money and not holding a job for any length of time, and those are MAJOR issues. But the mommy issue;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;RUN

It will never change, even if he becomes stable and has a job and doesn&#039;t need her money, once a momma&#039;s boy ALWAYS a mommas boy darlin.

Sorry, but it is reality

Answer 4

you are nuts if you marry him.  absolutely nuts.

this one is pretty obvious

Answer 5

Money, job issues, and in-laws are huge stresses in a marriage. You already have these problems.  I don&#039;t think it will work until he gets his head on straight!

Answer 6

i think when two ppl come together they are going to be differences, u either can accept them or not...he cant change you and you cant change him...i guess you can make it work, it seems like you know each other pretty well...and hopefully having these issues out in the open will make it ok

Answer 7

Any relationship takes work. Communication is Key!

Answer 8

50% of marriage end up with a divorce.   The number one reason given for divorce is Money.   You listed money right at the top.   Find a mature guy and show this guy the door.

Answer 9

hmm, judging from your issues...i would tell you run like h**l!  the money issue is a huge red flag.  dealing with money is like rowing a boat.  you can&#039;t move forward if you and your husband are paddling in oppositve directions.  it sounds like you will be.  this is a direct relation to the issue about his work ethic.  he sounds lazy...the fact that he can&#039;t keep a job is going to be the case after you get married too.  do you want to have to be the reluctant breadwinner all the time?  that would concern me big time.  lastly, the mom.  ah, the dreaded mother in law.  she controls him, and has enabled his childish behavior.  problem is, that is going to continue and she will then become your problem.   i would sit your boyfriend down and talk about the future, and where does he see you guys headed.  maybe he can change, but knowing this kinda person before...i doubt it.  save yourself some headaches, poverty, and heartache now.

Answer 10

well its time for him to grow up and leave mommy&#039;s money alone and grow up.mommy isnt going to be around for ever.so he has to find his man hood and opend his eyes and see what life is

Answer 11

In my honest opinion, I don&#039;t think that marriage would work. You get married to him and you will be the one supporting him 100%. What if you have kids??? How will he be able to help you with the extra expense of diapers, formula, kids clothes, etc. As far as his mom, she needs to stop supporting him fnancially- then he will never get it together.. Have you talked to him about these concerns?

Answer 12

Okay, the big question you need to ask yourself is if these things are extreme cases?  Does he spend enormous amounts of money?  To the point where he can&#039;t pay the bills?  Where your relationship is struggling?  Will he quit a job before another is lined up?  Does he care whether or not your going to be taken care of?  Does he have any drive to support you?  Or does he want you to support him?  How often does his mom give him money?  Does he ask for the money? Or does his mom just simply send it to be nice?  Does he unconditionally love you?  Would he change his ways for you?

After you answer theses questions your answer to &quot;Will it work?&quot; should be very simple.  You have some differences, everyone will have differences.  My boyfriend and I have been together for six years now and def have our differences, but no matter what we love eachtoehr through it all!  There is no problem that we couldn&#039;t get through simply because we are willing to work through it all and maybe change our views because we love each other.  It is a very neat feeling to have that and I wish you all of the luck!

Answer 13

No offense or anything, but it sounds like he&#039;s too immature for marriage. He needs a lot of growing up to do before tying the knot. Just my opinion, good luck

Jenxx

Answer 14

Don&#039;t have a child. You&#039;re in a relationship with one.

Answer 15

You might want to put the brakes on this relationship. Money is a huge reason for divorce and since you seem to be the only one with any money it&#039;s going to be a serious problem. You should find someone that is more responsible and is actually thinking about and working toward future goals in life. It sounds like your boyfriend isn&#039;t very mature yet. He may be a good person, but if it doesn&#039;t change you&#039;ll end up being another statistic for divorce. Good luck to you!

Answer 16

it sounds like he has some growing up left to do..in any case you really have to ask your self if those things are important to you or not..any marriage can work if you truly want it to..but it takes effort..if you think these things are going to always bother you, then I wouldn&#039;t plan a wedding any time soon...just take it slow.no need to rush into marriage.

Answer 17

I think a marriage could work, but not now. You both have some growing up to do and changes to make. If you both learn to communicate better and he changes some of immature ways, then it could work out. I dont think you should enter into marriage before all these lil things are worked out and you have a stronger relationship.