Will having kids move in with me work?

Question

i don't have kids in my early 30s.my gf of 6 months has kids.i took 2 to the house i just bought.i couldn't stand how they were acting.so i brought them back to her house,saying not again.well she might move in.will it work?even if she says she will keep kids in line?anyone experience this before?

Answer 1

She's been your girlfriend for only six months and already she might be moving in your new house with her kids in tow? Who's idea is this anyway? If it's yours then you really better think this over very carefully. Sounds more like she's using you for a place to stay with her and the "little darlings". Frankly, you're moving way too fast in this relationship and getting yourself into something that you'll live to regret. You've already seen how her kids act up and this is only a taste of what lies in store for you. She says that she'll keep the kids in line? That'll work for about one week until they take over and you'll be forced to run for your life. You're going to get screwed here so you better nix this idea while you still have a chance.This hasn't got a chance of working out so tell her to stay just where she is.    

Answer 2

No, it won't work. My mom's friend who is a doctor has never been married. She met a man online and he had a hyperactive, out of control son. She ended up dumping the man just because of the son.

You also have to think of her too, though. Brad Paisley put it perfectly in one of his songs. "When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new, it always winds up feeling more like a job interview".

It's hard to find a date with "baggage" as men call children or other past issues. If you love her, stick with her and talk to her about it. 6 months is a little early to start moving in together, also.

Answer 3

No it won't work. You have been dating for 6 months whats the hurry. Get to know her and the kids better.Having issues with her kids will make big issues between the 2 of you. Bad Situation. You guys have to be a united front when issues come up with the kids.It sounds like you will expect to sit back and relax while she fixes the issues as they come up.

Answer 4

6 months is pretty quick to be moving them all in.  Tell her you would like to keep dating her but I think you should not live together.  Her first priority is to her children, I hope anyway.  It will happen in time, if you both get to know one another better and are ready to make the compromises needed to make it work.  Good Luck  xox

Answer 5

The problem won't be solved if they move in.  that's not the answer.  The answer is for her to teach them manners and correct the negative behavior PRIOR to moving in.  You would feel much better seeing it actually happen I am sure than promises you don't know if she will be able to keep.  

Answer 6

Doesn't sound to me like you are very "kid oriented".  And your g/f saying that she'll "keep them in line" is c**p....kids are kids.  They get into stuff, they do stuff..... if you are not prepared to have your house taken over to some degree by children's toys, playing, etc... then you better rethink this relationship.  If you couldn't handle one visit with them, how do you expect to handle a possible life time of them????

Answer 7

If her kids are out of control now it won't get any better.  Don't let them move in!

Answer 8

If her children have not been properly disciplined before, they will resent you for the change.  Tell her that if she wants to move in, she will have to teach the children discipline first.  Once she does that, you need to set ground rules from day one, and STICK to them.  children need structure.  (Regularly set feeding times, nap times, bath times, bed times, play times, etc..  If you don't see that structure in them now, buy your gf a book on how to raise children.  If she does not give them structure, she will have monsters on her hands.  Together with attention, love, and affection, structure is up there on the list of importance in a child's life.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

you will need hair on your teeth, eyes BEHIND your head, and the patience of 10 pre-school teachers to handle this.

I have been there, done that and got the T-shirt!!

If she cannot control her kids now, she NEVER will.

and as soon as you try to discipline, all h**l will break loose!

THINK LONG AND THINK HARD!

My 2 step-children nearly ruined our marriage!

Thank the good Lord above my husband saw the problems and solved them with discipline and we okay now.

still ups and downs but we cope.

Answer 10

You said you couldn't stand how they were acting yet they might move in? That sounds like a recipe for disaster. Better ask yourself why you can't stand them and not live with them until you can at least tolerate them. Kids shouldn't need to be kept in line if the parent(s) are any good at being parents. You better find a way to get along with them if they are going to move in.  

Answer 11

Kids can be a HUGE problem and not just their behaviour. They constantly interrupt and suck up so much time that you can spend with your partner. While they are around you will probably always be 3rd in the relationship and the kids will be first.

Most women are primarily mothers and secondly only partners