Will he ever marry me?

Question

We've been living together since 1997 since then we have 2 kids, a dog,a house, new mini van. I'm a stay at home mom now, everything is good between us. And just about a year now he's popped the question (I know after all that) but we've haven't set a date and he's never really cared. I don't want to push it because I feel he should want to marry me and make it his prioriy.

Answer 1

You need to sit him down and tell him that you are excited to marry him and build your family. Maybe he just doesn't know how to go about getting things started. Just ask him when he'd like to set the date and delegate some tasks to him. In his mind, he probably assumes that you are pretty much married anyways, and doesn't want to rock the boat. Just ask him. I'm sure it will be fine.

Answer 2

why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free...you messed up the order and gave it up. Just be happy with the situation you already have, most women dont even get the man after the kids are born

Answer 3

I am sure that he wants to marry you - it's just that most guys aren't into planning the wedding. Sit down with him and start talking about possible dates and a budget. Just keep in mind that you will probably have to do most of the planning - and don't take offense if he doesn't seem as into it as you are; a lot of grooms aren't.

The only way to get things going is to start talking about it...

Answer 4

You should ask him about him, talk to him gently. Tell him if he thinks that yours and his relationship is going at a steady pace or not. This is kinda irrelevant, but do you know Gene Simmons from the band KISS?

He has a girlfriend of 15+ years, and 2 kids. The reason he doesn't want to get married is because he doesn't believe in it, his wife learned to deal with it, yeah, but sorry I felt like I should conclude this in my answer, lol :)

Answer 5

What do you want?  So set a date already.  You have been living together for many years now and yu have kids already.  He asked you to marry him now you need to set a date.  Of course he does not care.  From his point of view why get married when everything has been just fine up tillnow.  You want too much.  He is a good man who takes care of you and your children you even get to be a stay at home mom.  He did ask you to marry him.  What more do you want?  Come downut of fantasy land.  He does want to marry you,  he asked didn't he.  You already are a priority, woman, you stay at home with the kids and he works and supports you.  Many women who are married do not have this so stop nit picking and get married if you want to get married.  If you want storybook fantasy, go to the library.  You already have kids and live together.  What is there to make a fuss about now?You want to get married,  here it is so stop being silly and plan your wedding and set a date.  He is probably waiting for you to do this because you are the one that it matters to.  As you said, he doesn't care.

Answer 6

I know this sounds harsh, but the time to insist on being his wife has come and gone. If a man wants to marry you, he will. If he doesn't, he will do just what he's done, because he found someone to go along with this. If you really wanted to be married, you should have not allowed yourself to end up in this situation.

Answer 7

May I be somewhat blunt?  He has everything he could want (free s*x, a family, a house) so why would he feel like he needed to marry you?  Now I don't agree with that philosophy but think of it from his perspective.  I think you deserve better.  Tell him that you need to plan a date in the next month otherwise you are outta there. Think of your kids and how confusing this must be for them.  If you have a little girl she is going to learn that she doesn't have to be respected enough for someone to commit to her.  I know these are tough words, but think of your kids.  

Answer 8

For eleven years he's had the illusion of marriage without the added commitment, so unless you broach the subject with him, I doubt he'll broach it with you.

Since he has already proposed, but shows no interest in date-setting, take the initiative and bring it up. Set the date, don't let him balk (as Darby pointed out, the longer this situation continues the more psychological damage will be done to your children), and start planning.

Answer 9

Well, as soon as my fiance' asked me to marry him, we decided that we wanted to do it next year and I said I wanted to get married in the fall. I took it upon myself to look up places and then I told him we are going to check out this place, when can you go. We went and decided on a date.

Seriously, the man doesn't normally want to plan!

Answer 10

Well, he doesn't need to and may not want to. You have provided him with a bounty in his life, as things are. He's probably pretty comfortable.

If you had wanted to get married, you shouldn't have been shacking up and playing house all this time.

Consequence of your choices....

Answer 11

You need to set the date for the wedding then.  I can't believe it took him 10 years to ask you to marry him.  That's probably because he's already living like he's married without the legal and religious commitment (besides his commitment to his children).  

Answer 12

Why dont you buy a weddings magazine and leave it lying around? That will get him talking!

Really, maybe he just doesnt know where to start or thinks you will plan the whole thing. Talk to him.