Will i be a loser if My husband asks me to make a drink for him, and then I go make a drink for him?

Question

i was under feminism minded in my highschool times. there was this one party where this guy (who actually likes me but always been a jerk), ask me to pour the drink for him. he was about to make me somewhat his through that. but who cares, I ignored him and in the end we had this another guy who offered to pour the drink, even for me.

back to the issue, i remember of still being unsatisfied with that situation, which I should have not just ignored the rude guy who 'ordered' me to pour the drink for him, but to answer him back with "who do u think u are? even if you're my husband, you don't have the right to do that!"

is it really that way?

I'm still under confusion and in search of my real femininity rights.

Answer 1

so long as he's not ordering you to make a drink for him, who cares? do what you want. i get my boyfriend drinks all the time and he does the same for me.

Answer 2

Men and women in a relationship might enjoy getting a drink for each other on occasion, but the moment anyone starts "ordering" anyone else, there is a serious problem.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with making your husband a drink. Marriage is a two way road. He can make drinks for you and you can make drinks for him. No one person should have all the responsibility of doing everything for the other.

Answer 4

Make the drink if you want. Who cares?

You just want to be sure he doesn't come to view you as a servant. Ask him to get you a glass of iced tea next time he'd up. : )

Answer 5

I am a little confused by your story since it appears English is a second language but I am going to try to answer your question as I think I understand it.  No man should order you to make his drink or do anything else; but he can ask and you can decide to do it.  However you should not like jerks.  I am a feminist and my husband will ask me for a drink and I will get it for him because I love him and he respects me.  I know he does not do it to put me in my place and that if I asked him to get me a drink he would do the same.  Remember your femininity comes from within you and you must decide who that person is to be.

Answer 6

That is not what feminism is about... it is about you being free to choose your role and your relationships.  If you want to pour him the drink, pour him the drink.  If you don't want to pour him the drink, don't pour it.  Don't feel bad either way.

Answer 7

What the h**l. Making a drink for someone you like/love is degrading then I'm a degraded bum. You come to my home I'll make you a drink, food, if you need and I have plenty you'll get. How can helping out someone be sexist.

Now if you feel it's your job to get the drink and not because you want to then.....well it's not good. I can tend bar I mix a mean drink I have a talent for it so I do it. I can not balance a check book, bad math, my wife the CPA handles it. I say to each their talent.

Answer 8

You should stand up for your rights! Since when does a female have to get anything for a man if they are rude.

Answer 9

No, not if he's you're husband. You'll be a loser if you DON'T make the drink for him, and the same applies with him. The key to a good marriage is equality. Forget feminism! However, don't be a pushover either. Find a balance. Good luck:)

Answer 10

It's not really about your gender, it's about being treated with respect and expecting people to speak to you respectfully.

I always treat people as I expect to be treated so if someone started ordering me around I wouldn't accept it, whoever they were. But often ignoring rude behaviour is the best way to deal with it. Some people take pleasure in being rude and putting others down so if you say anything to them they enjoy getting into an arguement.

You kept your dignity. Be proud of yourself.

Answer 11

Think on this. I make the coffee at home for myself and my wife, because I choose to. I take a cup to her in bed so she has a nice hot cup of coffee when she gets up because I choose to. If I get something from the kitchen, I ask her if she wants anything while I'm there, because I choose to. Please and thank you are also integral parts of our relationship.

Now, in your first statement, you say he "asked" you to pour him the drink. Please and thank you? Maybe not. So now he's a jerk. Then you say he "ordered" you to pour him the drink. Regardless of the circumstances, it all comes down to your power of choice. If he "asked" you for a drink, or "ordered" you for one, you have the final word. Now, in the case of "your husband", you need to have this and other issues pertaining to your feminist philosophy, addressed before making a commitment of that nature. In the end however, I don't see how being nice to someone would make you a loser. Good luck.

Answer 12

Nope, unless you drink it before you return his drink! Pouring his drink is in one sense a power of dominance over him as a female and then you may be enabling him to keep feeling weak against a disease.

Answer 13

Asking and ordering is two different things. If he is that ignorant, walk away and forget him.