Will i ever get over this?

Question

my father died when i was 9, i am 19 now and i feel as though it happened yesterday, my mother ignores my depression and makes me tell everyone that I'm happy and that I'm doing well.. i am lying.. i cant hold down a job because i feel suffocated easily, i have trouble being in relationship's because i feel like I'm trapped and alone when i have someone loving me,

my father was my entire world.. when you loose your entire world you feel as if there is nothing left to live for.. i don't want to kill myself because ive been down that road before.. but I'm temped to just up and leave without telling anyone where I'm going just to escape.

i need help but i cant have help at home.

what should i do.

Answer 1

I am so sorry you are feeling sad. I wish I could just pat you on the back and tell you everything will be alright. Yes, I do think you will get better. I don't think we ever completely get over the loss of a loved one, but I think that eventually things get better.

I am sorry your mom is in denial. However, you are old enough to go to a doctor on your own and get yourself some help. You should not have to go through life feeling this way. As an adult, you can make a wise decision for yourself to seek the medical care you need.

I hope you soon feel better. Life is so short...go out there and find a way to have some joy.

Answer 2

You are living in the past, when you were 9 you need your parents both mom and dad.  Now that your 19 years old you should be living independent from your folks.  Picture how your Dad would feel if he knew how you were dealing with the sadness. I am sure he would expect you to get over your mom's death and your mom expects you to get over your dad's death.  He will always be in your heart but to dwell on it to the point you won't succeed is wrong.  If you believe in an afterlife talk to your Dad ask him to help you let go of this sadness, I truly believe those that love us and have passed to the other side are still concerned with our safety and well being. Try talking to Dad in your room, at the cemetery, some place where nobody will hear.. better yet write Dad a letter.. then take the letter outside and burn it and watch the ashes blow away.  This will give you closure and a sense of comfort so that you can move on with your life.

Answer 3

not saying this to sound like a smart a** but therapy and antidepressants... you need to talk to someone you trust!

Answer 4

You need to find help - if you don't know where to start, try calling the Samaritans. You can talk about stuff and maybe they'll be able to point you in the direction of counselling. Whatever you do, don't just bottle it up or try to live around it.

Get therapy; don't run away. You can't run away forever, and your running away will probably devastate your family - maybe your mother ignores your depression because it hurts her too much to think that her beloved daughter isn't happy.

Good luck.

Answer 5

unfortunately your mom should have helped you deal with this when you were 9, but she was probably too enveloped in her own sadness and depression that she couldn't see how much you were hurting.  this is quite common when something like this happens, so don't blame her.  she probably did the best she could at the time.  but it does sound like she needs to get her own help to deal with her denial of not only your feelings, but her own.

you are now 19 years old.  you are old enough to go to a doctor on your own and seek the help you need.  your feelings are very normal and justified.  talk therapy (psychotherapy) should help you greatly.  do you have insurance?  if you do, call the member services number listed and ask them to help you find a local mental health provider in your area.  if you don't have insurance, check your phone book for local clinics that offer free or reduced fee services.  or ask your primary care doctor for some names they would recommend.  

you need to talk to someone about these feelings and put them behind you in order to move on with your own life.  i'm not saying to forget about your dad.  but you have to grieve properly and work through the emotions.  you'll be happier and stronger for it, and i'm sure your dad would be proud of you.  good luck.