Will i lose my children?

Question

i have been refered to social services by my childrens school over a pair a pants my daughter hadnt changed she is nearly five and old enough to dress herself but she had forgotten to change her pants and i was in a rush and never checked.the school informed me 24 hours later about what they were going to and tried to explain but they didnt want to know. i hadnt had time to tidy upstairs before they came and i had taken the sheets off the beds to wash and they wanted to see where the children slept. This is first time this has happened with the pants and now im terrified my children will be taken away because they will think they arent cared for. The worry from this is making me feel poorly. I was as honest as i couldbe with their questions i didnt stop them from seeing what they wanted to see but im still scared.ive never had any dealings with the social services before my oldest is 16

Answer 1

Social services doesn't want to take your kids away unless they can validate some type of physical or emotional abuse. The idea is that kids are better off with their parents.

If this is the first time something has happened, don't worry about it, especially if you were honest.

I suspect that there is more to this because it sounds like a lame excuse for the school to report you. But once a report is made, if the state feels there is a reason to investigate by law they have to. Its for your kids protection.

If there was nothing wrong when they came out, you will not be in trouble.

It really takes a lot to get your kids removed from their home.

Answer 2

they know what to look for when it comes to neglect. I can't believe teachers would report over one insedent. Perhaps there is more to this but if not I am sorry. Just have faith it will be okay. You were changing the beds, that is not a sign of neglect, it shows that you are keeping a clean house.

Answer 3

Many many good families have been thrown into this situation.  You should not lose your children.  Social services has nothing better to do but harass good people.  As for the social worker who responded I don't know how you can sleep at night causing the havoc that you people do.  You are a good parent.  Don't lose your confidence.   I was reported twice.  Once because someone thought I was abusive to my autistic child (providing deep pressure therapy in public)in public and once because the school called to report me as being unstable because at the parent teacher conference they didn't care for what I was saying.  It was totally punitive, at no time did anyone sincerely ask if I was ok, had support ect.  I withdrew him from school immediately.  It was a special school.  Obviously both were unfounded but what a headache.  I was told that they have to investigate any report they receive.  In my opinion social services waste alot of time and money  "investigating" the wrong sort of families.  I agree these people are not out for the best interest in your child.  And they routinely follow up lame excuses, I personally have 2 and I know others.  These people are not to be trusted, anyone that is "in the field" or a social worker.  Believe me they have issues, and I know I have seen it over the past 22 years working in psychiatric facilities.

Denmark is suffering from delusions of grandeur, or she is just an a*****e, awfully judgemental, just read her other answers to see why social workers suck!  Typical, dish it out but can't take it.  Maybe you should take your thin-skin somewhere else where it is appreciated cause it ain't here.  The in the field comment was in response to another responder guess you are a little slow too Denmark

Answer 4

They've seen it all and then some.   They're going to know what true story is at your home.  Tell the truth and let it be.  BTW,  At 5 your daughter may be old enough to pick out her clothes, but you learned a hard lesson to check her more closely.  Good luck.

Answer 5

I think your daughters school is ridiculous to begin with. I'm so sorry you have to go through something like that over a pair of pants, it's just insane. As a mother, I can't even imagine how scary that is. I would switch schools if that happened to my kid, honestly. When it comes down to it though, I really don't think they will take your kids for something like that. As long as your kids are clean, there's food in your house and there aren't bruises all over them I think you'll be fine. Just explain to the social worker what happened. They're human too and hopefully have more common sense than the school officials. Good luck to you! =]

Answer 6

well I kinda know what you are going through.  I took my daughter to the er cause of something that happened when I wasn't with her...in the er they called the police to come and "talk" to me.  then she was admitted for the night and without asking me anything the dr upstairs again called cps on me because she had bottle rot on her teeth.  but if he had spoken with me he would have known she had an appointment with the dentist literally no more than a few days later.  the cps lady came to my house and said the same exact thing...yeah he should have asked.  but I guess he was worried about other things. they wanted to see where she slept and where we live.

also, my friend son had the school call cps on her...that is a whole different story. but again they still have to come out and check.  

they just want to pretty much make sure it is a safe environment and stuff like that.  I believe it depends on who calls that determines how fast or when they go out.  I wouldn't worry too much about it. cause after that day I haven't heard back from them. I don't see what the deal is what the pants...but hold your head up and just keep doing what you are doing.

Answer 7

if social servies do come to your house try to explain your problem in the best way you can to keep your children

Answer 8

I'm sure the school had other reasons for calling social services besides dirty pants.  Teachers and principals are not in the business of making reports to social services just because a child wore the same pants.  I'm not saying their other reasons were valid (I have no idea what they've been observing) but trust me, there is more to the story than dirty pants.  Also, social services will not send a worker out to the home based on one incident of dirty clothing.

That being said, based on what you've written here, there is no danger of your kids being removed from your home.  Either the case will be "Unfounded" and that's the end of it.....OR they will document concerns and offer you some services.  If you refuse services and another call is made by the school (or neighbor, or anyone) then you'll have a reason to worry.  So, I would take the help they're offering, return all of their phone calls, and ask to meet with your daughter's teacher to find out what other concerns they have.  Show the school that you are a concerned parent and you are trying your best.  

Good luck.  I think everything will be fine.

*** Beetlemilk - Seems like you are angry at the world (therapists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, and social workers).  Honestly, I think you're a little paranoid that everyone is out to "get you."   You seem to feel victimized by lots of professionals.

Answer 9

I would not worry about it. Unless there is a regular problem I would say the school over-reacted . A good social worker can often tell if they are being lied too, and would understand how difficult it can be .

After social services makes its ruling I would see a lawyer about any actions you may have against the school. There are mandatory reporting for some things . Dirty clothes on occassion isnt one of them .

Answer 10

they are not cops . You NEVER have to let them in or talk to them. So what your kid wore the same pants. Being freaking poor isnt a crime nor does it make a bad mother. Talk to legal aid and dont talk to the child abuse people again till you do. Tell them to talk to your lawyer and close the door. Anything you say will be twisted ,ewmbellished and out right lied about. These people are not out for the best interest of children . They are out for their own job security and they work for the state not you.

Answer 11

I knew someone who took foster kids.  

I know the details of how each state's social services handle things may vary, how it worked in my state was:

A report was filed against parents.  

A social worker would come talk to the parents and maybe come back a couple of times.  If nobody thought the children were in immediate danger this is how it could go.  If someone thinks the kids are in immediate risk they may take the children to a temporary foster home, but that doesn't sound like what you have going on there.

That was the intial investigation.

They either close the initial investigation or send in a second worker, who works with parents.  Such a second worker may just keep checking in with the parents or may offer suggestions about things.  Also, such a worker may suggest help (parenting classes, financial assistance, whatever) for parents who need it.

If parents work with them and "go with the program" the children aren't removed.  Eventually they will close the case.  

On the other hand, if children are immediately removed from, say, parents who are abusive; they are put in a temporary foster home.  Even then, social services tries to work with the parents and get them back with their kids.

It's pretty much when parents are just ridiculous, won't cooperate, don't show up at court, or won't change that results in kids' being put in long-term foster care.