Will it affect our chances of adopting?

Question

Me and my hubby are going to adopt next year. We know that the assesment process is quite intrusive and they will need to ask lots of questions. There is just one thing worrying us. A close relative of ours was convicted of a crime involving a child (I wont go into details), however, he is in prison and the children we have already ahve never had contact with them and are never going to. Will this just delay the assesment process because they will want to know more or will they not even consider us, even though we have lots of love and patience to give and a loving stable household?

Please only serious and realistic answers.

Many Thanks

Answer 1

Just be straight forward with them.  It shouldn't hamper you, but they might want you to make a safety plan.  As long as you weren't involved, you have no contact and the family member doesn't visit, I don't see it as a problem.

Answer 2

Seriously and realistically - I think it depends on how much information is passed on to the expectant parents who are selecting adoptive parents.  It I were presented with the full details, I would not take the chance.

Answer 3

it should not, especially if he is in prison.

Answer 4

I don't know, but i was brought up in care after my folks died and desperately wanted to be adopted. (YOU CAN STILL ADOPT ME IF YOU WANT)

Anyway's, i think you are fantastic, and i really hope desperately for you, that this will not stand in your way. You are good people and sadly there are not enough like you, i take my hat off to you,.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 5

I think it will be looked into buy hopefully not stop an adoption.  Most families have some type of skeletons in their closets.  The fact that you have kept your children protected in the situation will definitely be in your favor!

Answer 6

The social worker would have no way of knowing about this incident unless you tell them.  They only require fingerprints and background checks on those who live in your household.  When I had my homestudy, there was no check on family members not living in the home with you.  To a certain degree, homestudies are only as thorough as you allow them to be other than those living in your home.

Answer 7

As long as you are honest about it, it shouldn't affect it.  LC and Florida Gal have very good advice on this. They will want to verify that you are not in contact with them.  You might also have to jump through a few extra hoops to ensure it.

Answer 8

I gave up my son thru an 'open adoption' not thru an agency - so much easier.  The parents are still required to go thru an assessment but since an agency isn't involved, the birth mother will get all the information an agency will give but since it is open, an agency won't reject you.  But I really think it is a matter of trust between a birth mother and your hubby and yourself.  You can say that the child will have no contact but whether thru open or an agency, the birthmother needs to trust in what you say.

Answer 9

Tell the truth; otherwise, it looks like you're trying to hide something. If you kept your own kids away from him, that will look good. It shows you know how to protect your kids. You might have to answer questions about how you would handle hypothetical situations when the relative gets out of jail. Don't be afraid, just answer truthfully.

Answer 10

it might, it might not but i should think as hes in prision if your upfront about it and dont try and hide it, it wont be an issue also you say you have kids at the moment so thats a good start as you said you also have no contact with the person and never will.

if they were that worried im sure they would get the police records for it and see for themselves but as it doesnt concern you two then i cant see it being a problem.

good luck.

Answer 11

I don't think that it will affect your chances, as long as there are some safeguards (and it sounds like you are taking those steps) in place to protect the child.  

However, every social worker is different, and their report has a lot of power.  All I can recommend is that you be totally honest.  If they find out about this through other channels rather than from you, and it appears that you were trying to hide it, then there may be some effect.

Answer 12

I have evaluated hundreds of potential adoptive parents.  The key questions here are:

1.  What is your relationship with this person now?

2.  Were you a victim of this perpetrator?

3.  Did you know about the abuse?  Did you report it?

4.  Were you raised by the same parents?

5.  Will you ever have any contact with this person?

The actions of others do not within themselves eliminate us as potential adoptive parents, but depending on your behavior, can.  You are not responsible for this persons actions, unless you failed to protect a child or failed to report!

Above all else, be honest with the Social Workers conducting the Homestudy.  Lying about such an important subject WILL get you eliminated.

Good luck.

Answer 13

Not if you declare the fact as a concern; might actually speed things up because there is obviously a case file and as close relatives you have already been investigated.

Answer 14

Absolutely NOT!  It probably won't even come up but if it does make it clear to them that you will allow no contact whatsoever between him and your family. I had to do the same thing. You will not be "punished" for your relatives' crimes.

Answer 15

Hi,

They will investigate the case that took place and the risk that any children they chose to place with you may be in but as you say this man has NO contact at all with your biological children, then there will not be a lot of risk.

I don't feel they can choose against you for this as it is not the primary carers - you and your husband - who were convicted of such a crime.

You just need to ensure that you follow all the procedures for the adoption and that may mean being totally honest about this crime that took place - it not nice to go into I am sure but it is something that will safeguard any child that comes to your home and the welfare of the children has to be paramount.

All the best with the adoption!

Lx

Answer 16

it may do, they will investigate it if the know abou it,

we had a similair problem with getting into police force, but it was fine in the end.

They should focus attention on you and ur husband,

Answer 17

I went through the adoption process several years ago and the questions are not that intrusive.  I don't remember them asking anything about extended family. Only questions like why do you want to adopt, how will you raise/discipline the child, your relationship with immediate family, support, your relationship with husband etc.

Answer 18

Hello

My husband and i have just gone through the adoption process and have now adopted a little girl.i admit it did take a long time and they do go through your family history as it is all about the child at the end of the day.i'm sure they will realise you have lots of love to give a child and take that into account.i wish u good luck and let me know on here if u have any luck.

thanks

becky

Answer 19

be honest and open they say honesty is the best policy and i just want to say good luck people like you even considering adopting someone elses child is challenging enough deserve a medal there is not enough i wish you all the luck in the world i can't see it being a problem as long as you didn't involve your children( if you have any)  with this person i can't say 100% if it effect your chances but i would say 70% you should still be allowed because they look at the close knit family you are involved with so they should consider you

Good luck!!

Answer 20

Oh gosh..... No...

They look at you for you... I have a sister in-law with 5 DUIs and a mother who is an alcohlic. MY hubbys cousin just got of jail on gun charges, and his other cousin looking at jail time for misapropreation of funds. Our families are surrounded with scandel, BUT WE'RE great parents with lots of love, no criminal charges, no CFS reports, some teenage no nos. What matters is that you persever. And now able to provide everything a child could need.

As far as a homeestudy goes, just be honest, even if you think it may hurt your chances.

Good luck :-)