Will my 7 year old son ever get it !?

Question

I have three beautifull son's that i dearly luv. My second child who is now 7 ,has been very challenging in regards to his behaviour. Nothing is easy with him. He's always fighting with his brother's, always wants things first, always doing things he's not meant to, always screaming and talking on top of other's and it's just getting me really down. He will throw things if he dosn't get his way . He can be a very good, affectionate and is very cluey . I've tried different types of dicipline and nothing seems to be working. I feel like he just dosn't get it. He knows what he does really upsets me, his father and his brother's ,but he will still do it. It puts alot of preassure on the whole family. We are always arguing. He's been tested for learning difficulties , and other related tests,as he's struggling in school, still awaiting the results. I feel i don't have the energy and patience anymore. Advice needed.

Answer 1

That is why he is winning this battle. He knows what a struggle he is causing the family and you cannot let him win. Stand firm and DO NOT GIVE IN.. It will be hard at first but not for long.

Answer 2

Read Alfie Kohn's "Unconditional Parenting". It will change your life.

Remember if kids could do better, they would. If he's not able to no amount of punishing will change that. He needs your love and attention.

Seriously read the book!

Answer 3

Well i heard about this before so i might not be wrong. So this si what i think, i think he is bypolor that ,means like ur child has really wired mood swongs only angry ones and he can not control it he gets angry and it can become life thretning so the right thing to do is well check with a doctor about my theis i might be right casue i saw this about a little boy and  the diegnoses was that he was bypolor clink this link http://youtube.com/watch?v=U7wOEJ6DNgQ it might answer questions.

Answer 4

ok dont punish him it just will make not ever stop just dont talk to him dont do any thing with him that will get him i shape

Answer 5

Try to do something that will reward him for his positive behavior.  I have 8 yr old twins and they both vented for a while (in different ways) when they were about 6.  I think it was because we didn't spend individual time with them, so they acted out so they got attention - any attention.  

We started a reward system.  They loved NASCAR racing, so I made an oval racetrack out of scrap material and divided the track into 8 segments.  I mounted it onto a magnetic, dry erase board.  I printed out a picture of their favorite race car driver and glued a magnetic strip along the back.  When they do well, they move up a segment; they move back when they "make a bad choice".  Moving up can be for something as easy as helping their younger brother tie his shoes.  It's no sweat off my back.

The rewards are pretty simple.  They love Xbox, so they can play 30 extra minutes when they get a lap.  When they get laps in multiples of 5, we go to a park in the summer or to a McDonald's playland for sundaes.  If they lose a lap, they give me a stuffed animal until they get 5 more laps.

We also started going on dates with each of them individually.  They get the special attention from both my husband and I.  Again, it can be as simple as going to a park or as elaborate as going to a Japanese steakhouse for dinner.  We schedule them and put them on the calendar so that there are no conflicts.  It's worked pretty well so far.

Answer 6

i can't say for sure but your right to wonder if something else is going on here.  his behaviour is not normal (whatever that means).  and it raises some questions, the first thought i had was that he needs to be screened for some things....ODD, ADHD, and a host of other difficulties.  all i can say is hang in there, and if it turns out there is something there, bleed the system for all its worth.  he needs more than just some pills to help.  and there are tons of organizations and advice right on the web that are quite helpful.  if nothing comes of the tests, i'd go back to the doc and insist on a neuro-psych evaluation.  sounce ominous but it's not and it's much more in-depth.  finally if that's it, than go find a book in the library and read a bit of it.  if the work sounds like stuff that works for your heart than that will be good enough.  good luck, and no that eventually they all get it.

Answer 7

I watch a show called surviving motherhood its on discovery health but I always catch it on TLC.  I was watching one day as I have a middle child 3 years old is very difficult behavior-wise.  The expert on the show just pretty much said to give them their own activities that neither of the siblings are currently involved in, have more play dates with kids his own age because interacting with older siblings friends are setting him up to fail,  socially and mentally.  Sorry I couldn't find the recap to that show all I found was a schedule list.

Answer 8

hard to say since you haven't gotten the "formal test" results yet...but it could be as simple as the possibility that he's picked up on the fact that he knows how to push your buttons and does it for fun. kids at this age love to test their limits, esp. with ppl they KNOW will love them no matter what.

if time outs don't work, take away his favorite things one by one till he gets it. keep it consistent and stick to your guns. eventually he will get it...good luck, I know it's hard!

Answer 9

You have just described my son!! He is the same way. I acyually have him in therapy because of the loss of his dad and other issues. He is actually being tested for (Add)attention deficit disorder. He is very loveable and smart but he can't focus in school and it is not their fault. Some kids just can't concentrate on things that are quote boring to them. They can't help it. They want to learn and behave but there attention span is short.My son is going to a psychiatrist to find out if he needs medicine to help him concentrate in school. He is brillant at math and science but reading he hates. He will repeat if he doesnt learn and I wil ltry anything to help him get through school. Just keep faith and look up ADD and see if he falls into the category. It's not a bad thing it will actually help him to learn and to focus on whats right and wrong. If you would like to talk just let me know. I know what you are going through. Everything you said is actually my son to a tee and mine is 7