Will my boyfriend grow up after the baby is born?

Question

Well i'm 38 weeks pregnant and scared to death my boyfriend won't change after the baby is born. He's very scared to raise a baby. Were both still pretty young, i'm 18 and he is 20. He's been freaking out a lot latley cuz it just keeps getting closer and closer and i don't really know what to tell him. He's been drinking alot to kind of get rid of the stress but i'm scared he'll get to used to it and won't change after the baby gets here. And he'll also be 21 in november and i'm scared he'll be at the bar more than at home. He already works nights and i'm just stressing about wether he'll grow up a little and realize his partying days are over or if it will just get work.. what do you think?

Answer 1

well as they say - - a woman is a mother as soon as she finds out she is pregnant, a man is a father as soon as he holds his baby.

Answer 2

Your both way too young to be parents...he shouldn't have to grow up that much at his age.

Answer 3

Men mature differently to women and I doubt he will suddenly "grow up" simply because a baby has arrived. He will need encouragement and support to meet his new role as father its not as instinctive as it is for women. Some men rise to the challenge from day one and others need time to adjust.

You will both be meeting the challenges of a newborn and thats a huge adjustment if you "expect" a miraculous change in your man your likely to become disappointed when it doesnt occur, this can lead to fights and nagging and your man is likely to distance himself further.

The pressure of having a baby effects all people differently and if you want your partner to join you on the trip you need to think about the way you handle the things that are annoying/upsetting/worrying you. Remember people wont come near people who they arent feeling happy and comfortable with infact they'll go in the opposite direction. Express your concerns but do it gently and listen to what he says, it could be he's terrified about the impending responsibility and unsure of himself he will only get better with love and support.

Answer 4

Maybe, maybe not.  I wouldn't worry about it...u have bigger responsibilities..him not being one.

Answer 5

It could go either way.  It's very normal to be extreemly nervous about being a first time parent.  All you can do is be the best Mom and partner you can, and encourage him in doing the same.

If he keep up with the partying c**p and saying he's "too young to have a kid"... get rid of him and make a happy life for yourself and your baby.  Life's too short to waste it on that c**p.