Will my husband go to prison or will have a bad record???

Question

My husband punched me on my head.But I got it wrong.I thought he punched me and I told the police about the word punch so he was arrested for the first time. He went out of the jail the next day and he is not supposed to get close to me as far as I know. He told me that he didnt punch me but just slap my head. It was so painful for me though. I am 8 mos pregnant and I made him to do that coz I provoke him.Im so ANXIOUS now that he might go to jail on our court hearing which is August 5. I dont want him to go to jail. He never hit me before. Is it possible for me to change my statement during the court hearing and I will just say that it was just all misunderstanding to the judge and I dont want my husband to go to jail or have a bad record because it happened coz of me. Also my delivery is quite soon.I dont want my husband not be there. The police also took picture of just my hands which has a little bit nail marks coz he was trying to stop me to throw things on him. Will he go to jail

Answer 1

Carylle, I'm sorry you are going through this.  There are some things you need to face now though.  Please understand that none of this is meant to be judgemental in any way.  I am not judging you or your husband.  We all do things we later regret.

I need to correct a mistake you have made.  While you may believe you were at fault, nothing could be further from the truth.  You may have said things that were an element of your husband's anger, you called it provoking him, but you did not make him hit you.  He chose to do that.  Consciously or unconsciously.  You likely regret the argument or disagreement that preceeded him striking you, so are accepting the guilt for his actions, but you did not make him do it.

I have never hit a woman in my life.  I share that not to set myself above anyone else, only to illustrate something.  Many people will say that men should never hit women.  True, to a point.  While I have never hit a woman, I have warned a few that if they ever hit me again, I would cease to see them as a woman and would drop them where they stood just as I would any man.

I don't know what happened in your situation.  I do know this from what you shared.  When your husband hit you, he also hit your child.  You are pregnant, and any stress or trauma you experience gets passed on to the baby.

I have never hit a woman, I WOULD never hit a child.  Still not judgemental.  He did what he did.  Whether or not I or anyone else disagrees with it, matters little.  Here's what matters.

A complaint has been made, he has been arrested, a court date is set.  Even if you were to stand up and perjure yourself in court, to say it never happened, the state would likely pick up the charge.  He will face trial.  He will likely face some incarceration.  I've known men who did anywhere from a week to 6 years.  There's no rhyme or reason to it.

You might be able to get the protection order dropped so he can be there for the delivery.  Best suggestion would be to talk together (probably over the phone) and work out a plan for him to get into counselling before the court date.  This will go in his favor.

The court thing is going to happen regardless of what you do.  You can only do things now to help minimize the results.  There will be consequences; you can't avoid them.  You can make them less though.

Answer 2

My thoughts on this is that Judges see a lot of people who commit domestic violence, if you change your statement now I doubt that he's going to believe you.  Plus the Judge is going to frown upon a man that hit a pregnant woman, since he put not only you in danger but your child as well.  His actions could have caused you to fall down and hit your head, he could have killed either you or the child.  Also the Judge is going to understand that if he hits you once, he will most likely do it again and again to you.

I'm so sorry that your having to go through all of this at this time in your life, it has to be very difficult for you being that your pregnant.

While you may not like what I'm going to say, remember that I'm only attempting to be honest with you when I say this.  I'm not Judging any one, I'm just pointing out facts and that is all.

A man should never hit a woman, be it with an open hand or a fist, that is just wrong to do.  Nothing justifies a man ever hitting a woman, not even being provoked by her.  

Most men know that you don't hit a woman ever.   Women are much smaller and do not have the physical strength that men have, its not much of a match at all.  

Plus..... You are pregnant and he could have seriously hurt or even killed you or the child you are carrying,  if you would have fell and hit your head he'd be explaining why he murdered you and the child .  Even though you may have provoked him, he had  no right to ever hit you.  

He needs to be held acountable for his actions, even if you provoked him he had no right to hit you.  He made the choice to hit you, and it doesn't matter if it was a punch or a hit with an open hand.  Either way he assulted you and it was wrong on his part.

Let me put it to you one other way that may help you to better understand it and put it in proper perspective.

Lets say that the child you are carrying is a girl.  Now lets say that she's all grown up and is married like you are.  What would you tell your daughter if her husband hit her when she was pregnant with your grandchild.  Would you really think that its alright for her husband to hit her, the woman who's not only your daughter but your pregnant daughter?

Wouldn't you tell her that he has coming to him what he has coming to him, that he should have known better than to do that to her?  That is after all abuse, no matter how you want to look at it.

I wish you all the best no matter what you do.  Please keep your self and your unborn child safe.  God bless you both.

Answer 3

Slap, punch, hit, get a grip woman, he deserves to go to jail. You need to face life on your own for a while, I can't give you a better answer than that.

Don't let your co-dependency overrule common sense, bad enough hitting a woman, but a pregnant woman . . . . good grief, smell the coffee.

How long before he starts hitting your child?

Answer 4

It was wrong for him to hit you especially while your pregnant.  But I understand that you are scared about the whole jail thing.  Why wouldn't you be?  You're 8 months pregnant and I am sure you feel you will have to go through it all alone if he goes to jail.  If you really want to forgive him, then make every effort you can.  Talk go a public defender about it if you can't afford an attorney and see what advice they can give you.  But afterwards, if he doesn't have to do any hard time and if you still want him, you both need to talk about what happened.  Make sure you feel safe around him and make sure he is someone you can trust around the baby before making any decisions about your futures.  I hope this helps!

Answer 5

I doubt very much that a judge would believe that you misunderstood that your husband hit you it doesn't matter

where it was a slap or a punch or a butt HE HIT YOU. Don't be so stupid as to let him get away with it. What kind of real

man hits a woman who is 8 months pregnant with his child?

And what is with you stating that 'you made him do by provoking him?"  No one can 'make you' do anything. He is

a cowardly bully and you should not be defending him. I suggest you think about what you are going to say to the police when he starts 'punching' or 'slapping' your baby around because it is crying. Are you going to say the baby

'provoked' him?? You need some serious counselling young

woman and so does your husband. I hope for the sake of

your unborn child you get it and soon.