Will my teacher find this an acceptable sonnet?

Question

The Past Banished

by Elaine Polin

In all this time I had no thoughts of you,

Nor dreamed of years of youthful innocence

When love was always in the present tense

And every moment endless seemed, and new.

Now at the twilight of my many days

You call to me and offer love again,

I could no longer bear to feel such pain

As when our roads led us in separate ways.

Too late, my dear, the tears dried long ago

When laughter took their places in my heart,

Filled saddened soul with poetry and art

And dimmed your voice, your face, your youthful glow.

Today I venture forth to a new time

With youth renewed, while you rest far behind.

Answer 1

What a gift to find this when I came home!  This is so beautiful.

A new life thanks to art and poetry. I can't imagine the teacher wouldn't like it.

Answer 2

Bravos for sonnet, a song so true

I've heard many peers sing its theme

Bravos for you, strong woman due,

For you moved on to a future of promise.

ma

Answer 3

I think so!

Lovely reading...

Thank you.

Answer 4

I truly saw a piece of myself in that ..

It was when I receved  a Blast from the Past..that

reawakend the pain

I worked it through.. took some time... and

YES!! your last 2 lines SUM it up perfectly !!

Answer 5

Since I don't know what the assignment is, it's hard to say whether your teacher would find this acceptable.  However, I believe it could use a little polishing.  

For example:

Work on tense in the second stanza, you should change 'could' to 'can'.

In the sentence "when laughter took their places in my heart" is awkward.  Better would be "when laughter took its place in my heart".

Answer 6

Absolutely Grade A material!

Answer 7

Do you need a teacher? I think not.  

Answer 8

Not being a sonnet master, I can only surmise that the rhyme scheme is that of some type sonnet other than the one of which I am familiar, but being that said, it is a very nice poem, and I am proud of you.

Answer 9

Today you have renewed mine with your heartfelt words.

Answer 10

Excuse me for saying ,,,This is how it's done ,,Your teacher will be proud,,,Very proud to read this.I love reading poetry and this is most beautiful ,,Thank You and Well Done

Answer 11

Yes Elaine it was great.I understood what you went through the heart ache and the pain. It's hard  to live with a sadden heart but now you have went forward to a brand new venture.

Answer 12

this is the one poetic form i've never been able to do justice.

you however, seem to have it.

Answer 13

That was lovely!

Answer 14

Gosh its quire poignant, and reminiscient of a bygone well spent age of tender memories and quieter days ... Well done, I hope your teacher is equally impressed. Loved be..

Answer 15

There once was a girl in New Yerk

Who dated a dribbling jerk...

Oh, wait, you said Sonnet, not Limerick...

A lady waits upon the sandy shore

for bolder men to love and to adore...

Answer 16

NIce although this is a close rhyme in the last couplet. However, it is a fin e poem. I believe Spencerian Sonnet.

Answer 17

The past is the past, and you have moved on.  Said so well in your sonnet.  I'd like to hear you add to TD's limerick ...