Will our 7yo hate us for moving him to the other side of the country?

Question

My Husband bought up the idea of us moving interstate about 1 year ago. He has again bought this idea up, with us all & his family.

We have 3 son's (aged 7, 4 & 6 months), and I am worried about moving them, especially our 7yo. He has many friends at school, and is very secure there.

If we were to move we would see my Husband more often, as he works interstate for months on end.

We spoke with the 7yo and he is all for the move, but I don't want him to say in a couple of months that he hates us for it. We have had this house for 10 years, and he had grown up here. To sell it will be hard on the whole family, but the property we are looking at is bigger & nicer. Plus seeing my Husband all the time would be FANTASTIC!!

Do you think he will be fine??

He loves his Dad so much, and wants to have his Dad home more often. I don't think he is really understanding that his friends won't be coming.

Answer 1

He will be fine he will meet new friends.

Answer 2

We dont give kids enough credit...they adjust so quickly.

He will be fine. I moved my 4 kids,  3 years ago and they still ask,  why?

Your son will make new friends and having his dad around more will be great for him.

Answer 3

I think that you have got the okay from the little guy, so do it before he changes his mind. He might decide that it wasn't a good idea once you get there, but he will make new friends and he will have more time with his daddy. That is going to be very very important especially around ages 9 and 10.

Don't worry, just do what is in the overall best interest and know that you are making the right decision.

Answer 4

we moved my seven year old...all the way across the country away from nana 1 and nana 2 and all of his aunties and uncles and cousins...he hated it for a few months and then adapted....kids adapt pretty easily....i moved around my whole life....it is hard at first, but gets better soon

Answer 5

yeah its okay dont worry

Answer 6

We're military and move every 3 or 4 years... so far none of my 4 children hate me.  I also grew up moving between San Diego, Virginia and Alaska every couple years.  I have great friends that I'm still close with from everywhere I've lived.  

Kids are much more adaptable than a lot of people give them credit for.  I think the benefit of being able to see his dad more often would outwiegh any of the negative effects on your son!

Answer 7

children adapt fairly well and he should be fine but a suggestion is that  if he does find it hard and once the novelty of a new home etc has worn off try and invite some others over for a getting to know you party. with his dad around more he will thrive. remember that often as adults we look at the issues for our children in adult ways. they are still little people and we need to walk a mile in their shoes and look at the world through their eyes. try not to stress over the move yourself and he will pick up on the fact that it is a positive thing even though there is some sadness in it as well.  boys find it easier to make friends than girls sometimes as well. they tend to gang around at school and all play together where as girls are more picky about having just a couple of friends. all the best to you.

Answer 8

If your child is ok with it then he should be ok. He'll probably make freinds in the new area.

Explain to him all the problems (like friends won't be coming with you.) but give him a practical solution to the problem like suggesting he could send his friends letters/e-mails so that he can keep up with what's going on.

Another practical thing about moving don't do it in the middle of a term. try doing is during school holidays (probably even better if you do it over the summer holidays- break between years) as he then won't be starting a school in the middle of a term with no idea of what's going on in the school. New terms usually bring new concepts (like one term they will study transport, the next they'll study the beach.)

Answer 9

We moved 2000km away from "home" a year ago, when our daughter was 7yo, in grade 2 (also a son, pre-school aged).  We had previously moved shortly after she started kindergarten (was in one school for 2 months, next school for 2.5 years, now in a third school).  While obviously not ideal, sometimes you have to make hard decisions.  

Our daughter made new friends quickly (despite the fact she is very shy), likes her new school, and periodically tells us she hates it here....don't expect it to be all roses, but do what is best for your family - just the fact that your son is open to the idea is great, our daughter cried when we told her.  get your son set up with an email address and have him exchange email and postal addresses with his friends before you move so that he can stay in contact with special friends.  

On a related note, my daughter agrees with us that moving mid-school year was the best because her new class made a big deal of  "the new girl" and she felt so special for that initial adjustment period, whereas starting new in September kids tend to get "lost in the shuffle".  Also, we had a going-away party with her friends (and made scrapbooks at the party),  and sent treats to share with the class on her last day at the old school.

Answer 10

We recently moved from the city to the country for my husband's job as a paramedic, and my oldest daughter (10) was very unsettled about the idea. I was also worried for her, as she had a great life and fabulous friends in the city.

However I have learnt that its not WHERE you are, but WHO you are that makes the difference.

Since coming to the country, she has an equally wonderful group of girlfriends and is really settled and doing just as well in school.

So reassure your son that because he is a good person, his goodness will go with him, no matter what side of the country he is on!

Answer 11

Little kids make friends fast... I wouldnt worry.  I remember moving when I was 6, and I made friends so fast.  its easier doing it when they are little rather then when they get older.  I had to move my sophomore year of high school from Wisconsin all the way donwn to Alabama.... talk about that being hard.... it felt like a totally different country.  He may say that he wont mind, then when he does attend school for the first couple of days, he might say he hates it.  but he will adjust, and make friends.. you need to do whats best for your marriage first and foremost... your kids will be fine.