Will she still want to be my friend?

Question

My best friend is 5 months pregnant and I am so happy for her. I love her so much and I want her to be happy, but at the same time, I'm worried. I am 5 years younger than her, and while this has never been a problem before, now that she is pregnant and I don't intend to have children for another 5 or six years I'm worried our relationship will soon be over. We have a couple of other friends who have just had babies and the rest are pregnant. I'm the odd one out.

I feel our future looks bleak. I don't want you though think that I will begrudge this baby as I will love it as if it were my own niece, but I'm afraid that she won't be interested in my time once the baby comes as I won't have a child of my own to talk about.

Am I being crazy? Did anyone else feel this? Did anyone else loose touch with a friend when they had a baby?

Answer 1

No, don't worry... friends don't give up eachother... that's if she is a true one. Don't worry, my mom has a ton of friends who are her age and pregnant. Once a friend , always a friens no matter what, unless you guys upset eachother. Babies have nothin to do with friendship,

I don'teven know why the h**l im saying this but all my friends left me for some reason and i wish all those with frineds to keep a good hold of them.

but just so you know, im only 14

Answer 2

If you think you're being neglected, tell her. I'm sure she'll be able to understand. But of course as you know, once a baby comes out, the mother has to take great care of her baby/child. I bet you'll do the same as well. If you have time, spend some time with her( and with your husband) and probably buy some things for her.Try to console her if she's sad.

Good luck on keeping the relationship going!

Answer 3

Hi-I understand your concern.  After you have a baby, you kind of grow up and leave some of your friends.  But, at the same time, you said that you guys are best friends, so that means you are really close.  I dont think that a baby will seperate you guys, if not anything it might bring you closer together.  Maybe she will want you to babysit, things like that.  Just remember that after she has her baby, she might want to do different things like play groups, and especially the first couple of months, she will talk about nothing other than her baby. lol-If you can be patient with her, and understand where shes coming from, you are a very good friend, and you guys will probably stay friends forever.

Answer 4

A new baby doesn't signal the end of your relationship. I think it can make it more fun. You can act like its yours too and offer to help take care of the baby.

Answer 5

if you guys really are best friends then you will be even closer when the baby comes because your friend will need all the help she can get

you can go over to her home and help her while you two chat that kind of thing

you will have more reasons to see her which will ghet you to closer

Answer 6

I'm sure she won't ditch you for a baby. She'll be your friend, she might bring the baby places with you and her. You never know.

Answer 7

If you guys are good friends...then the babay will just bring you closer. You guys can take turns taking care if her or him. I think it will be great...and your friend will need all the help she can get so she'll be happy your there to help out.

Answer 8

just talk about what you want your baby to be like and don't worry if you fall out with each other i fight all the time with my mates and we become friends again the next day YOU WILL BE FINE!!!! the baby will bond with you and you will need to give her all the help she can get

Answer 9

Hi i have a very big mix of friends, some with babies and some without - i think she will possibly value you MORE for not having your own baby - i find my friends without babies tend to dote over my son far more than the ones who have kids of their own -

My friends who dont have their own children take my son out and buy him things and really spoil him because they don't have their own kids to take out and spoil so i think it will be nice that your friends will have you to coo over her baby!

I also like to just have my non-baby friends over to get away from that "baby talk" when im with friends who also have kids thats ALL we ever talk about, it's nice to have a mix and have some friends who don't only talk about babies!

I honestly dont think your friendship will suffer if you think positive and you dont tell yourself it's doomed - if you think your friendship isn't going to last, then it wont!

Just support your friends and offer your help - you'll be the only one who'll be up for babysitting as her other firends will be looking after their own babies :-)

Good luck and please don't worry, i think the fact you DON'T have kids will make your friendship stronger as she'll feel like she can ask you for help more than the others who have babies of their own to care for!

Answer 10

It can turn out that way if the friends aren't willing to change together. Part of being best friends is growing together as you get older. Babies are a part of those changes. It is your decision not to have children right now, and you shouldn't lose your circle of friends over that, but you have to be willing to change old habits that now need to accomodate a baby and children from your friends. Her life is changing big time, and if you don't want to change part of your life to include this baby, then you choose to lose friends. Hard place to be in but the old saying rings true, "A baby changes EVERYTHING". It is up to the two of you how it gets changed. Good luck.

Answer 11

Don't worry! She will still want to be your friend!

Answer 12

Hi im sure it wont be half as bad as you think it will be once her baby is born, if anything it might make you closer to her as you will be able to look after and spend time with her daughter etc and be a good friend and there when she needs you, if you get it into you head that her daughter will come between you then its you causing the problem in your relationship, yep your friend will need to be there for her child but you can also be in the picture, im sure your friend wont just cut you off,  if you value your friend relationship then her having a baby shouldnt matter to you.

Answer 13

I know this happens with guys all the time, unfortunately.

Maybe with girls it's different?

.

Answer 14

yes, if you really are her friend, your relationship will never break. Good luck.

Answer 15

So you are saying because your friend is having a baby and your not you guys arent going to be friends anymore. Women these days.

Answer 16

no. you have to understand most of her time will be for the baby. its not like you two cant meet up and still hang out. she is going to be a mother. i dont know why your worried. the only thing that will change is that there will be a baby now. thats it.

Answer 17

wake up !!! this not a problem you will be friend

i have many friend who is marry and he have a child he 20 and i am 14 and we are still friend

Answer 18

I've been in your situation many of times and I have had the same thoughts as you.  

However... it's been 2 years since she has had the baby and it's been great! I'm still the odd one out as all of my other friends have kids and husbands.... but let me tell you something... I live vicariously through them and I enjoy there family life, however, they also live vicariously through me and my single life. It's good to have friends at different stages of life, it allows you to open your eyes to something new.

She will need you as a friend as much as you will need her. Things may seem crazy busy at first but give it a little time and your friendship will endure. There are still plenty of girl's night's awaiting you. Thats why god made babysitters. :)

Answer 19

of course the 1st few months when your friend has her baby she will be all for her baby. she needs to get used to being a mum. you may not be able to do all the things you used to do like shopping, coffee, getting drunk in the afternoon lol. but she will always be free at the weekends for you. just be there for her as you always have been. and with all these babies around u it gives you plenty of practice for when you are a mum. good luck huni, i know what its like to lose a friend you love dearly. mine went but under diff circumstances, hope you are both strong enough to keep in touch. xx

Answer 20

Get pregnant have a baby you are never to young. how old are you email me at [e-mail] and we will talk more on this situation