Will the judge speak with the child?

Question

My husband is going through a bitter custody battle with his ex gf. They have a nine year old daughter. My husband is asking for joint legal custody, standard visitation, and rotation of all holidays. He is willing to pay 1/2 of all expenses related to their child and child support mandated by the state. This is apparantly not enough for the ex because she won't sign the papers and wants to fight it out in court. She is not willing to give him any custody, and only wants to rotate the Thanksgiving holiday. No christmas. Anyways.... she is threatening my husband with the court system. She keeps telling him that the judge always favors the mother, she's going to take everything he has, the judge is going to throw the book at him, etc... Her newest threat is that she is going to ask the judge to speak with their daughter. My husband is worried that she is going to fill her head with all kinds of non sense about him. Should he be worried? Will the judge know the signs to look for that she has been coerced into saying something? My husband loves his daughter, and is already taking the short end of the stick, will the courts award him the things he is asking for?

Answer 1

how old is the child???....its really hard to get sole custudy inless the other parent has records of being abusive....but the judge may ask her who shes wants to live with and take it into consideration

Answer 2

First of all you MUST remember that your case (even though it seems it is) is not anything abnormal. Child custody can be a very ugly thing. The next thing you need to remember is that the judge sees this mess everyday, he/she knows what is and isn't the truth, he/she knows if a child is/is not coerced into saying something. The judges might/might not ask to speak to the child, depends on the situation and what your lawyers bring to the table. I will tell you what the judge won't like, and that is the fact that the ex is using the child as bait...........you do this or you wont get this. Does she have control issues? Sounds like she is already breaking the "family code" and the judge will look down on her for that. He will reprimand her and he will not look too kindly upon it. A child needs to have both parents in his/her life, and denying access to the non-custodial parent is ony hurting the child(ren). Regardless of if the parents can or cannot be cordial is not the question, the question is "what is in the best interest of the child?" I know that this is scary, but trust me, it will all work out and everything will be okay. Don't give up, keep fighting and don't listen to what the mother says, take her threats with a grain of salt, journal EVERYTHING and have your lawyer produce it in court. I would also ask for a "geographic restriction" because if she is threatening you with not being able to see the child, it is certain she will pick up and leave and you guys not being able to see the child on a regular basis, in the event that this situation happens, your husband will still be liable for all child support payments. So, the BM gets custody, child support and your husband gets the "short end of the stick". Maybe you guys should think about asking for joint managing conservatorship with your husband being the custodial parent. In lehman terms, that means both mom and dad have joint custody, but the child lives with the dad. You say that "the child has always lived with her mom" Just because this is how it has been doesnt necessarily mean that it is in her (the child's) best interest. Something to take into consideration. My husband had this problem with the ex, we took it to court and WE walked out with the kids :). ~Good luck~ Hope my words gave you some encouragement!

Answer 3

I don't believe the judge is going to talk to the nine year old.  They ususally don't take what a child says with any seriousness until the age of 14.

Your husband will probably get more visitation then what you state here, I doubt he will get a joint custody.  He should not offer to pay half of the child's expenses... let the judge decide how much, it will be far less. and rightfully so, since she is the one that will have all the say in how the money is spent.

His one hope is to maintain a good relationship with his daughter (stop worrying what nonsense the mom will put in the girl's head, when the child gets older she will see the facts).  

Please do not go to court with him.  You are not his wife and it will add no value (actually hurts his case).