Will the memory ever not hurt so bad?

Question

my dad past away when i was 11 my best friend died from diabetes when i was 10 and ive recently lost my close friend to a heroin over dose....

does the pain of losing sum1 ever go away, for when i think about my dad or my friend i absolutely cant stand it...it hurts so bad...and time isnt healing anything....for hope of things getting better, is no where in sight.

Answer 1

your not the only one who has been through something like this

i am sorry to what happened

but maybe god did it to make you stronger

now you know you can  handle allot

cuz you've been trough allot

just never give up on god

i had problems like that

i never know my real dad

my mom was never there for me

i would most of the time stave cuz she wasn't home to cook

and i found my best friend in the world in kindergarten

she was kidnappedd when i was in 3rd grade

i lived in a getto town

where i was the weird kid

and was always left out

when my mom work so hard it went to my other siblingsns

never me

she hated me she abused me

she alway  sent the money she made to my sister & brother in mexico

when me andidn't oldest sis tFinlay meant me she didnt like me

sdidn'te was well loved in the family

i didnt know anyone but mycouldn't sister who left my mom

cuz she couldnt bare living with her

when she was 16

and she left for good

cuz of my 2nd oldest sister i was hated by all my famdidn'tnd still am

people bulled me teased me

but i didnt listen

i kept my nose up high is if it was bleedingnoting never loved or cared for

i had no family

i had notting i used used clothes for my neiber

i have deep scares that still dont let me forget about my beatten when i was younger

i made another best friend in my first year of middle school but i never got to see her the next year

when my mom deid when i was 12

and would go back and forth

for foster family

to foster family

they all wanted to cared for me

but i wouldnt let them cuz

i never had that feeling in my heart

i ended going to juvey 6 time for graffti

breaking it to houses

stealing

and drug selling

the 3rd time i was there i was 15

and i got a letter from my best friend mom

the one i made in my first year of middle skoool

it rote (in spanish)

"sorry for all you been  through

and i am sorry for what your about to know i just though you should know this

lily die

she was murded by the gang the bloods

and there was this one time i rember

the last time i was ever there

we had those group meeting with those other kid

when i was 16

where this girl call marcia said

i hate my mom

i am glad to be here cuz i am no with her

cuz i want to live with my dad

and i finaly spoke up and said

"you gatto apertionate her cuz i aint got no family

i got no where to go

and you gon need your mom some day

while you still have her

i dont have a mom

and my dad just had an afair with my mom

then left her ther

with the another 3 kids she had

none of my sisters and brothers have the same dad

so when you guy  get mad at each other

mannh forgive her

......

you still got her"

notting hurt as much as my life when i was 7 to 18

i am stonger now

notting hurts me as bad as those years of my life

and one day it wont hurt as much

cuz you know it all happend for a reson

and you will meet your loved ones up there some day

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear about your losses.  I'm going to be honest it takes a long, long time before you can look back without feeling hurt.  I have lost a lot of people in my life, and most recently my boyfriend to suicide in June & when I look back it's really painful.  But talking about the people I've lost helps more than when I hide their memories.  And as for some it was a long time before I could think about them & their memories, but eventually I noticed that when I looked back or thought about them I didn't cry as much, and then finally that it didn't hurt me quite as bad, and eventually I was able to take my life back.  To remember someone is good, but to be forever pained by that memory is not.  And please consider some kind of grief counseling because you have been through so much it is understandable if it is hard for you.  Stay strong.

Answer 3

I understand what you are saying because I suffered grief for 7 years just because my best friend left me and the only reason I got over it was because I found another friend, but that was after 7 years.  You should also try to make new friends, at least 3 so that no 1 is overwhelmed by neediness or codependency.  I don't know what it's like to have someone I love and need die and miss them.  My grandmother who died in February she raised me and loved me more than all of my otehr relatives, but I did not grieve when she died because I am a spiritual person and to me death takes you to a better place than we are in now.  I didn't think of myself I only think that she is better off in Heaven than down here suffering.

Answer 4

You need to get grief therapy. Try to keep in mind that they would want to you to remember the good times you had with them. They wouldn't want you to be so sad.  

Answer 5

the memory will never be forgotten but the pain will lessen..... only with time,.. or medication.  

Answer 6

Ashley Dear,

You need to have some type of counseling for your losses, and yet the pain does eventually ease with time, but you will never forget it, just you will learn to accept it.. I lost my mother in 1988 and it just about killed me, then my father in 1994.. I will always remember , but I did learn to accept it, and go on.. I had counseling for 1 yr.  and trust me, you don't have to be insane or nuts to reach out for help.. There are people out there to help you.. I don't know how old you are, but seek some help, plzzzzzzz. you won't regret it.. I promise.. Keep us informed  and hang in there.. :)    

Answer 7

The memory of your losses will be what ever you make them. you should turn the pain into understanding that death came suddenly and be grateful for the time you spent with each person you have lost and will loose in your life, by remembering them,they have a life, by continuing to be sad for an extended time, they become your enemies.You loved these people ,let their memories make your life better not dark and painful.

Answer 8

Here ya. Time is our friend though. You will find that time lets you live in peace. Do you have the time? Can you take it? Do you want to live?