SHIITES DEMAND BUSH’S RESIGNATION: CLAIM HE’S CONTROLLED BY RELIGIOUS FANATICS
By Don Davis
In a dramatic turn of events, the warring Shiite factions in Iraq have temporarily “buried the hatchet,†and banded together to demand that George W. Bush immediately resign as President of the United States.
First and foremost, the Shiite leaders expressed concern that Bush was controlled by radical religious leaders such as Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, which cast serious doubt on Bush’s ability to lead a democratic, pluralistic and secular society.
Abdul el-Insane-i, a spokesman for the new Shiite coalition, said that the last straw was the Bush Administration’s hostility to science and evolution: “I mean, I’m as religious as the next guy, but dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden?  C’mon, even Tony Soprano knows that’s bullshit.â€Â
The Shia also cited worries about the rogue Cheney militias roaming the countryside, forcing thousands of elderly lawyers to flee their estates.
As further evidence of Bush’s inability to maintain civil order, the Shiites pointed to the chaos of Katrina, the Medicare Drug Plan fiasco, the inability to police the borders, the lack of any reconstruction of decaying U.S. roads, bridges and tunnels, and last but not least, the television program Trading Spouses.
At one point, the Shiites had hoped that the U.S. could be saved by John McCain and his followers, but they ultimately concluded that the “McCainiacs†are really “maniacs,†as evidenced by their leader’s recent propensity for self-flagellation, and even suicide on Meet the Press.
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