Will this affect my sexual relationship with my husband?

Question

I'm still a virgin, I've never had any physical relations with a guy before, but I've had phone s*x with loads of guys, more than I care to remember, and grew close to some of the PS (phone s*x) guys and became good friends with them (but never actually met up with them).

So I'm going to get married soon, my future husband doesn't know about the PS of course and I don't intend to tell him because it's all in the past and I don't do it anymore.

Psychologically speaking however, do you think my past PS relationships would have any affect on the real thing with my husband? Do things like this affect you when you have s*x for real? Cos at times I do feel guilty for indulging in the PS cos I believe I have failed myself, religiously speaking, failed to control myself before marriage, etc. And as much as I think I'll be able to control these feelings of guilt, betrayal, etc I'm wondering will I "break" when I finally do the real thing with my husband? And what do you think I could/should do to avoid this, like should I talk to someone about it, get it all out, etc so I don't feel as guilty about it?

Thanks and please don't report... xx

Answer 1

I know you say its in your past but the fact that its obviously playing on your mind so much makes me think you should confide in your future husband about all you're feeling.

We've all got pasts and I'm sure he wouldn't judge you and only put you at ease and then you could enjoy the experience and your first time as you should and not worry about it like you are.

Failing that, generally speaking I don't think you'd compare the two. I mean PS and the real thing differ so much and hopefully, you'll be so caught up in the whole thing and your new husband and the excitement of your first time to even worry about the past.

At least thats how its meant to be, If you're full of guilt I think firstly, you need to forgive yourself. You haven't done anything wrong so don't judge yourself nor let anyone else and also I think, more than anything you want your future husband's forgiveness so talking to anyone else would really be pointless. Talk to him and be happy.

Good luck. Wishing you every happiness in your new marriage.

Answer 2

: -) trust me you'll be fine. Don't feel guilty, there's no reason in the world why what you did in the past should affect your relationship with your husband as long as you let it go. Don't beat yourself up over something so minor. A voice on the phone, it's nothing more than masturbation, something everyone does. You'd be more weird if you hadn't done something like that at some time. : -) Relax. Have a great life with your new husband.

Good luck.  

Answer 3

when you really DO do it with your husband, you will be so swept up in estrogen and horny and stuff that you won't care to think about the phone s*x.

maybe phone s*x is sorta againist your religion, but religion aside, you didn't do anything wrong. and phone s*x and genital-to-genital s*x are 2 completely different things.

if you feel like you should tell your husband about the phone s*x then you should. he's your husband and he'll still love you.

Answer 4

What you have done in the past, is just that, past tense.  Put it out of your mind and concentrate on your future.

As for the PS, well there's just no comparison with the real thing.

Stop worrying and get on with your life.

Answer 5

rttrtt

Answer 6

um having s*x is way different from phone s*x way different, once you do it you can see for yourself if you feel satisfied, if not you can always talk to you bf and express yourself about s*x and how you feel after having s*x

Answer 7

Firstly, I think it would be good if you told your husband that, while you're a virgin, you've had verbal relations. The real thing is nothing like exchanging words. But I think that indicates you are a very sexual person - that you were very explanative and open.

You didn't mention whether you had PS with your hubby-to-be. But if you want to put THAT in your past, you need to not worry about your past and go forward with your husband without thinking of whether it will effect it.

Hopefully, you feel different for him than the guys you talked dirty to. That alone should make it different.

Answer 8

Please dont feel guilty, you are still in tact as they say and have done nothing wrong. Enjoy your first time and when your confidence grows during s*x you could always talk dirty to him and he to you so you get the best of both worlds.

Answer 9

You should not feel any guilt all you did was explore your own feelings and emotions, and as for failing religiously wasn't it god who made mary pregnant even though she was married to someone else ?

So put the past behind you and enjoy your future.

There could be things in your husband.'s past that may be better off buried. And that's what you should do, you haven't broken any laws,

you just found out that s*x can be enjoyable in many different ways.

Answer 10

You will continue to remember the fantasies until you go through a process of forgiveness of yourself and others. Look up the AA 12 step on line and see how it can apply to you and the process of forgiveness.

Answer 11

Dont compare!! those guys on the phone would have said anything, dya think they would have actually lived up to all the were saying??

this is gonna eat you up until it causes a problem, tell your husband to be, he loves you and this is your past which makes it part of you, it really isnt that big a deal and you shouldnt be feeling so bad... it could be ALOT worse!!!

Answer 12

As you say you are a virgin, physically speaking, but not as feelings and possible orgasms are concerrned produced by PS and phantasy proooooooduced by these PS guys. If you are a religious person, you should consult a parson, rector or vicar. If not, then you should speak to a psychologist in order to avoid future problems in your sexual relationship.

Answer 13

Look. If you had real s*x with 40 men before you met your future husband would you give him a list of names? I hope not! What you did in the past is no one business .Quit the quilt party and move on with your marriage.

A person can be anyone they want to be on the phone. Get real.