Will this drive me insane?

Question

Ok, I need some advice on how to proceed. I am 19 and never had a girlfriend. Now the first girl I ever thought I actually had a shot with moved away for school. She will be back and we have kept in contact. she does seem interested in me when we talk because she asks about me and stuff.

Thing is, I will not be able to go anywhere or do anything with her or ask her out until december. But I had such a fun time working with this girl I feel it I let her get away without trying I would hate myself for it.

Now, I am 19, never had a girlfriend so its not like I am missing out on any other girls because I go to community college right now and its hard to get to know anyone there.

What do you think? How should I proceed? or should I just keep doing what I have been doing until she gets back.

Answer 1

Hi. I was in exactly your shoes when I was 19 and my first girlfriend basically had to hunt me with a net and drag me into her cave before I realised that she really did fancy me. In the next couple of years, I realised that I'd been silly to be shy, that rejection is no big deal and that, even as a quiet, non-threatening little wimp of a guy, I was actually quite appealing to a certain type of woman.

What I want you to do is this: Call the girl that you like when she's back for the holidays, and if she's still single, just throw yourself at her. In the meantime, I want you to talk to every person in your college class; just stride up and introduce yourself.

Soon you'll realise that: women give signals that men often don't notice; that friendship is only the simple act of making conversation with someone you see everyday; and that what women really want is just for someone to really listen to them.

As soon as possible, I want you to hit on a girl. Any girl. Don't make a big speech, but be honest and take the driving seat: "I think you're cute, I like our talks, let's go on a date."

If it goes really well, you might have a nice girlfriend before this other girl comes home for the holidays, otherwise, you'll have had some preparation for the big one.

But, Jesus, man, don't get stuck being the 19-year-old me forever: take some risks and try to have some fun before you die and don't build it all up into some big thing, because if it wasn't for getting out there with that one girl (who turned out to be a psycho *****, by the way, so you win some, you lose some!) I might still be a virgin now, ten years later.