Will you critique my poem please, tell me the good and the bad?

Question

Soon I’ll Fly

Falling hard, falling harder,

And then I see the water darker.

Waiting close to suck me in.

I count the time until my end.

One pill two many, then some more.

Then I see through a small lit door.

Waiting there is an angel boy,

Who stands there holding a small blue toy.

He drops it gently and looks at me,

But am it there and can he see?

He walks one step, and then one more,

And reaches his and through the door.

I grab him tightly and h pulls me out.

Then I hear them scream and shout.

I look down at them, they’re around m kneeling.

What is this feeling that I’m feeling.

It cant be real, but feels so true.

there’s something that they never knew.

I didn’t belong there by their side, and I had nothing wrong to hide.

I stand at the door and look down at me,

but I know there’s nothing left to see.

Everyone screams with tears in their eyes,

And the angel boy also cries.

He looks at me, “its time to go” I say

Then we spread our wings and fly away

Answer 1

It was really deep and passonate at first pulling me in, but then you kind of lost me towards the middel  you may have gotton a little off on you flow.  It seemed like you wrote it at two different times in slightly different moods.  But it's good I'm just being a harsh critic.

Answer 2

I liked it, good flow.

Try a more complex pattern next time...rhyming poetry can be so average in this pattern.

example:

Glove

man

dove

plan

vs.

glove

dove

plan

man

You can try other patterns too, once you have more practice

Answer 3

nice poem... but does it have to rhyme?